Energy of anger. Anger. Learn to dominate yourself Control and good rest

ANGER
IRRITATION

AURA COLORS

- RED - anger.
- Bright red - wildness, extreme jealousy.
- Scarlet - irritability.
Ancient Chinese medicine associated liver disease with anger and irritability. modern medicine claims that it is in this organ that anger, irritation, anger, hatred, primitive feelings are localized.
"There is no fire greater than passion; there is no misfortune greater than hatred; there is no misfortune greater than the body; there is no happiness equal to tranquility in desires."

ANGER and ANGER

You're not angry with me, are you, don Juan? I asked when he returned. He seemed surprised.
- Not. I never get angry with anyone. No man can do anything that deserves it. You get angry with people when you feel that their actions are important. I haven't felt anything like this in a long time..
K. Castaneda. Don Juan's teachings

Anger and anger are feelings of intense indignation and resentment. This is an extreme form of irritation. These emotions appear when the situation gets out of control. Everyone wants to control the situation - so he feels calmer. But this is not always possible. When this fails, then anger appears, which can turn into physical violence in order to change the situation.
There are many aphorisms about evil among the people:
Don't pay evil for evil.
- Good for us, evil for no one - this is the law for life.
- To live in evil - to walk around the world.
- An evil wife is a champion of sin.
- Evil does not believe that there are good people.
The Bible says about evil: "May the Lord reward him who does evil according to his wickedness."
Every person has experienced angry feelings in his life, and there is nothing wrong with that, because every emotion of a person performs positive functions for him. The main thing is to understand what these negative emotions are for and what goals they pursue, and then create new ways of behaving and channeling this energy into a healthier direction. Anger and anger perform the same positive function as irritation. And the consequences are the same, only much stronger.
If you do not express anger openly, but restrain it, then this is dangerous, since anger, not finding a way out, remains inside a person. This energy begins the destruction of the body and gradually transforms into a disease. But if you realize your anger, that is, openly express it by showing violence, then you will receive violence in your life; and not necessarily from the same person. Like attracts like.
If a person constantly suppresses such emotions as irritation, anger and anger, then the liver, joints, respiratory organs and other organs and systems of the body begin to suffer. Unexpressed feelings begin to accumulate in those organs that are responsible for their expression.

Example:
The liver with its bile is responsible for irascibility. Suppressed anger and irascibility first causes inflammation of the gallbladder and bile stasis, biliary dyskinesia, and over time these unexpressed bitter feelings are deposited in the form of stones. After all, there must be a material substratum of accumulated emotions. The joints are responsible for bringing these aggressive feelings into play. And this leads to their inflammation. As a result - rheumatism, bursitis, dislocations.
It turns out that expressing your anger is bad, and holding back is no better.
So what to do?
Some advise: if you have accumulated anger, anger and irritation, then start bashing pillows. The steam will come out and you will feel better. Others think it's better to openly declare to the person you're angry about how you feel about them. That is, take and yell at him. These are not the best ways to deal with anger.

At one training seminar, people were taught to openly express their anger: shout, get angry. They approached each other and said: "I'm angry with you because you are tra-ta-ta ..." or "I was offended by you because you are tram-pa-pam ...". They were told: "Let the feelings raging inside you break out." But this is good to do in a group where everyone knows about these rules and is ready to take on the wrath of another person. And when the members of this group went out "to people" and began to "express themselves" in this way, the people around them simply did not understand them, they were not going to take on someone else's wrath. People were not trained in the rules that the participants in the seminar learned. Indeed, in society there is an opinion that expressing anger openly is bad.
Such "self-expression" can eventually lead to loneliness.
Here is a more productive activity for working with anger than empty pillow dusting and yelling at loved ones.
As soon as you feel that an emotional explosion is close, start doing what you do not really like, but is necessary. For example, if you live in a rural area, you can start chopping wood or digging up a garden - both the realization of explosive energy and the economy is useful. Do it until you feel calm. Dig up your garden - help the neighbors. If you live in the city, then you can do apartment renovation, cleaning, beating carpets. Remade everything at home - help the neighbors.
If you are overweight, exercise and run. You will not only get rid of irritation, but also extra pounds, and without any diets and for free.
Of course, it is possible and more simply - to change your worldview. But whoever likes it. Someone prefers brute physical strength, while someone prefers the work of the mind. Both work. It is important not only to get rid of anger, but to transform it. To do this, it is important to realize the positive function that it performs for a person: in order to the world matched my expectations. But it depends only on ourselves.
If I feel bad, then I chose this bad in myself.
Like attracts like - this is a cosmic law. If the fear of getting sick nests in me, then I will get sick. If I fear a thief, he will come. If I am afraid of being deceived, then I attract deceivers to me. If I have anger, envy, guilt, disappointment, pity, then I attract anger, envy, guilt, disappointment, pity.
Therefore, it is foolish not only to express your anger, but to produce it in general.
I use this golden rule: if I want to get something, then I must change my behavior and my thoughts until the person has a spontaneous desire to give it to me.
It's time to realize that those around you don't owe you anything! And if you want to get something from them, then change your behavior, use new ways every time.
Instead of wasting your precious energy on such negative emotions, it is better to align your conscious desires and subconscious intentions. And this can be done only after you take responsibility for your life, for your world.

ANGER

When we do not recognize our true power and allow others to have excessive power over us, we develop feelings of anger. But we do not like this feeling, and diligently suppress it. We hide it in some corner away - out of sight, out of mind, and it sits there until we begin to restore CONNECTION with our INNER strength. Here, the first thing we feel is accumulated anger.
Anger and anger are feelings of strong indignation and indignation, an extreme degree of irritation. They show up when things get out of hand. It inevitably happens from time to time, because control requires strength, and they are not eternal. Squeeze your fingers into a fist with all your might - will you last long? I assure you, after a while they will loosen themselves. Voltage - reset. Maybe stress-free? Try to believe that control can be let go. In fact, it is. It's just that we confuse control and management. We love this activity - to confuse ourselves in this way somehow ... What is the difference between control and management? Management is not stressful. Why? Because managing a situation means allowing it to develop naturally, perhaps even unexpectedly. Management is influence, willingness to follow the logic of life, to trust it. What is there to stress about? Nothing to stress about here. Well, that is, absolutely nothing. There is no way to control this. Control wants to force, subdue, keep "on a short leash." On this oh-hoo, how much effort is needed. Slowly you start to get stressed...
If we strain to control or constantly suppress the emotions of anger in ourselves, then nothing comforting is planned, unfortunately. And a bouquet of diseases is provided to us. The liver, joints, respiratory organs and other organs and systems of the body responsible for expressing anger begin to suffer. For example, the liver and gallbladder are responsible for temper tantrums (see Causes of Liver Disease). Suppressed anger and irascibility provoke inflammation of the gallbladder and stagnation of bile, and over time cause the deposition of stones. Our joints are responsible for bringing aggressive feelings into action. If anger is not expressed - inflammation, rheumatism, bursitis, dislocations.
Anger - great power. We would like it to be in a peaceful direction ... The path of thought allows us to realize what benefits we derive from living anger. Why do we need it at all, what is its positive role? What are we angry about? Why? What for? And what to do with it?
Let's start in order. We benefit greatly from living in anger. Firstly, we do not accumulate it in the body, which means we maintain health. Secondly, the ability to safely live anger makes it possible to manage it. And, playfully. Although it seems strange to talk about the “positive” role of anger, nevertheless, it exists. The most that neither is obvious - protective. Indeed, there are situations of danger in our lives when the power of our anger helps to stop offenders, to avoid violence.
When, what and why do we get angry? You know, with all the variety of versions and reasons, we will have to calm down on the fact that anger arises in us when someone or something does not meet our expectations. This is our, frankly, stupid reaction to what is happening. In general, if you think deeply, you will see that anger is an extremely stupid thing to do. And useless, no doubt. Of course, we are not gods, and we are far from holiness. But you still need to do something with this "stupidity" of yours.
To begin with, let's acknowledge that neither the world nor people are bound to live up to our ideas of how things "should be." Relax. Better think about the fact that everything develops in the most beneficial way for you. Try this golden rule: if you want to change how people treat you, start changing your behavior and your thoughts until it happens. Don't demand, don't threaten, don't intimidate. I hope you remember that no one owes you anything? Well, we don’t have the right to force people to give us what we want, what can you do ... But we have the right (and plenty of opportunities!) To change so much that they will gladly give it to us themselves. What's easier?

© Galina Muravyova - The attraction of love

IRRITATION

Each of the deeds should be performed in the mood of a warrior, don Juan explained.
“Otherwise, a person disfigures himself and becomes ugly. In a life that lacks the mood of a warrior, there is no strength. Look at you. Almost everything prevents you from living, offends and takes you out of your state. peace of mind. You whine and whine, complaining that everyone you meet makes you dance to your own tune. A torn leaf in the wind! There is no power in your life. What a disgusting feeling it must be!
K. Castaneda. Journey to Ixtlan

Irritation can be unexpressed anger, haunting because it requires an outlet.
Irritation occurs when something does not suit you: a mess in the house, dirty dishes, an unmade bed, scattered things, late guests, bad behavior of children, etc.
Each person has his own requirements for the world around him, and if something around does not meet these requirements, then irritation appears. If irritation is present in life for a long time, then this leads to the development of a certain range of diseases.
The most sensitive to any kind of irritation are the nerve cells, for that is why they are created to feel. Of all the nerve cells, the most sensitive are the brain cells. Of all the brains, in turn, the one most easily affected is the brain itself. smart person. Why? Because the excess information accumulated in the brain makes the brain more sensitive. With the advent of more and more new branches of knowledge in which a person can be very smart, the list of brain diseases is also growing, which is quite logical. Unnecessary knowledge is dangerous for the brain. This means that each type of knowledge takes its place in the brain, and the longer unrealized knowledge stays there, the more damaged the nerve cells of this area. Knowledge that waits, hopes, believes, dreams and yearns that someday it will be useful to someone, gives rise to professional cretinism, which can turn into natural cretinism.
The liver, skin, intestines, stomach, joints and other organs react to irritation.
Every person wants the world around him to meet his requirements and expectations. But here's the trick! We ourselves create the world in which we live. This means that what we see in our lives is what we expect to see. That is, the environment already corresponds to our expectations, subconscious expectations. And if something outside does not suit us, then it is foolish to get annoyed. It is necessary to turn inward, change certain thoughts, and then the world around will change.
There is a difference between conscious desires and subconscious intentions. It is important to learn to trust your subconscious mind. After all, our inner mind strives for balance, peace and tranquility. He strives to take that unique place in the Universe, which will be very harmonious for each of us..

The Law of the Universe: like attracts like and the outer reflects the inner.

The Zen parable of the empty boat.
Always search within!

Anger is the most basic emotion that serves as the base for transitioning into any emotion. From any emotion, you can “jump” into anger, in turn, from anger, you can switch to any other emotion.

Anger is the emotion with which life begins. The emotion with which we are born. After all, it is through anger, overcoming, that the baby comes out of the womb into a completely different world. No other way.

The emotion of anger is associated with super-achievement, a kind of breakthrough, a quantum leap forward. Any breakthroughs in life, no matter what, in “breaking through” the financial ceiling, sports, intellectual achievements, occur precisely in this emotion.

Emotion anger ≠ aggression

Accordingly, if you are engaged in goal setting and, more importantly, goal achievement (because many people set goals, but few successfully complete them), it is vital for you to learn how to interact with this emotion, since it will help you win.

It is in it that the athlete opens the second, as well as the third, fourth, and, if necessary, the tenth wind. It is in it that the artist draws a brilliant picture, it is in it that the musician creates the greatest work, it is in it that the scientist is diligently working on the creation of a new invention.

It is in it that a person performs any action.

Anger is UNEQUAL aggression. Anger is a very broad-spectrum emotion that can manifest itself in many different ways. Like any other emotion, anger can be either low-amplitude (weak) or high-amplitude (strong).

So, aggression, anger is the lower part of the range of anger. You ask, what is the highest point of the amplitude of anger, its maximum concentration? Rage?

Rage, just like aggression, is a manifestation of unapproved anger.
Approved anger in the maximum amplitude = SUPER ACTIVITY!

Man commits maximum amount the most accurate actions in a unit of time, without fractions of a second of delay, reflection, complete dedication, to the point of melting, either I do it or I die! COMPLETE SUBMISSION OF THE SURROUNDING SPACE TO YOURSELF.

People who are “stuck” in life cannot make a leap to a new stage of development for a long time, those who are physically alive, but have long been dead in their spirit, have lost their ability to be angry and, as a result, to develop. For anger = moving forward = development.

Do you want to win the competition? Learning to deal with anger will help you. Do you want to escape from the current life context? ANGER! Do you want to break into a new level of financial income? ANGER! Do you want to get yourself out of a long “stuck”? Only anger. Nothing else will help.

The emotion of anger is realized through the hormone (and neurotransmitter) - norepinephrine. When the level of norepinephrine rises, a person becomes angry. When a person is angry, the level of norepinephrine rises. Feedback, both ways.

Norepinephrine is a hormone that is secreted from another hormone (and neurotransmitter) - dopamine. If dopamine is desire, desire, motivation, then norepinephrine is pure action, pure movement forward.

♻Physiologically, anger (norepinephrine) manifests itself as follows:

Extremely dense focus of attention, composure, mobilization
Vasodilatation, the heart pumps blood more powerfully. Hence the purpleness during anger (in fear (adrenaline), on the contrary, the vessels constrict in order to reduce potential blood loss, the person turns pale).
?Increased physical strength, endurance, deeper breathing. Diaphragmatic breathing (abdomen), maximum replenishment of all systems with oxygen (energy).
?Maximum desire to act, lack of doubt and reflection.

Key thoughts, long “scrolling” and living which allows you to enter into emotion:

- FORWARD!
- NOT ONE STEP BACK!
- LET'S BREAK!
- WE ACT!
“Either so, or not at all!”
- Victory or death!

Perhaps the most effective method enter into the emotion of anger - vividly feel how the revolution is taking place. Red banners, a crowd of people sweeping away everything in its path, screams, yells, roar, battle cries.
Live it, feel it, see it clearly, become the revolution itself and approve of this feeling.

Do you feel how your thinking is tuned to the prism of active actions?

History is full famous people who gained his strength precisely with the help of this emotion.

Mike Tyson is a man who knocked out opponents in the first rounds, and even in the first seconds. Always came out in high-amplitude anger.
Weak point - he could not keep this emotion for a long time, and therefore, he always lost, if he did not knock out the opponent in the first 2-3 rounds.

Mohammed Ali was able to hold a high-amplitude emotion of anger for a long time. Plus, he connected another emotion (sub-emotion) “flirting game” to anger, due to which he coped with his rivals effortlessly.

It is the combination of anger and “flirting game” that allows you to act as powerfully, actively, but at the same time easily and playfully. When the impossible becomes possible.

Radislav Gandapas, Tony Robbins, the same Hitler (anger + flirting game, playing seriousness) - all this is an example of great speakers, whose speeches inspired and motivated people.

Reminds me of the movie The Wolf of Wall Street. Remember how he motivated his employees? Remember how they plowed? Now you know what emotion allowed them to have such efficiency and such results.

Anger is a hard decision. Either that or not.
He said that today everyone will go to bed at 9 pm, which means that everyone will go to bed at 9 pm. He said that I would get up in the morning and run, got up in the morning and run. No options.

The highest manifestation of anger is the WILL, or if you like, the Power of the Spirit. She develops precisely in this emotion.

Also, anger is stamina, the ability to take a hit.

And as life shows, the ability to take a hit is much more important than the ability to hit.

Everything that is written in this article about anger, about ways to enter an emotion, how it manifests itself and why it is needed, how to use it - all this is no more than 10% of the information that will be in the Emotional Intelligence Upgrade courses and "Hormonal Upgrade".

Learn to interact with anger, use it, make a revolution in your life. Do you want to learn this, at the same time learn to manage all emotions and switch between them like a snap of your fingers?

Watch Emotional Intelligence entry

There is probably no person in the world who has never experienced anger. This feeling always has an extremely negative connotation, and by the strength of its manifestation, we often judge the ability of people to control themselves. Of course, feeling angry is bad, because it leads to anger and aggression. And in this combination, both emotions make a person absolutely uncontrollable.

But few people know that holding back anger is very dangerous, this action can be destructive to the psyche. Therefore, psychologists give great importance manifestation of anger and its influence on personality development. This difficult topic has become the subject of today's article.

Definition of anger

Human emotions have always been a special subject of study for psychologists and philosophers. It is amazing how differently people show their feelings, and also relate to these bright emotional outbursts. Perhaps the most significant emotion that seriously affects relationships between people is anger. Sometimes it is also called resentment, although many experts deny their identity.

Having collected information from various dictionaries, we can say with confidence that anger is a negatively colored emotion caused by the actions of an object or a situation that has arisen, accompanied by a feeling of injustice and an irresistible desire to eliminate it. Most often, anger is a flash, a short-term clouding of the mind, which can cause a person to hurt and create destruction.

Many psychologists characterize this range of emotions as a negative affect. This is a very common term in psychology, meaning a special explosive process. It is rather short-term and intense, usually accompanied by an increase in blood pressure, changes in the work of all internal organs and erratic movement.

Already after the above definitions, it becomes clear that anger is not a simple emotion. It can be destructive and constructive. Sometimes anger helps to cope with the problem, and in other situations it only complicates everything that happens. Such ambiguity in the assessment of the same emotion has led to the fact that a special direction has arisen in science - the psychology of anger. This not only helps to correctly assess the very nature of the emotion, but also to classify it.

Stages of anger

Emotions in psychology play a key role when it comes to the application of techniques for introspection and behavior correction. Usually, at such moments, the specialist tries to find out the causes of the problem that prevents the person who turned to the psychologist to live normally. Most often, the root of trouble lies in the containment of emotions, primarily anger. To understand what we are talking about, it is necessary to define the stages of anger.

Since we have clarified that anger can be understood as a negatively colored affect, this in psychology makes it possible to identify its four stages:

• hidden manifestation - an internal growing feeling that cannot be determined externally;
• excitement, noticeable by facial expressions;
• active action is the peak stage;
• fading emotion.

Each stage should be considered and described in detail.

Hidden anger

Sometimes at this stage, anger is characterized as a growing feeling of resentment. At this moment, a person in every possible way hides his true emotions and does not allow even a fleeting manifestation on his face. Such people are said to be well controlled. But for the personality itself, such suppression of anger can be fatal.

Emotions in psychology are represented as a substance that must be manifested. But the degree of personality development can be determined by how constructively a person shows his emotions. Those who successfully hide anger run the risk of getting a large number of diseases. In addition, one day all emotions will pour out in a flash of incredible power that can harm the angry person himself and all the people around him at that moment. Therefore, it is natural when hidden anger smoothly passes into the next stage.

Emotional arousal

At this stage, the feeling of anger is gaining strength and it can already be seen in the facial muscles. Usually it is at this stage that a person begins to defend his point of view and try to remove the obstacle that caused his anger. Psychologists believe that this stage is optimal for a person to civilly express their emotions and not cross any boundaries. At this stage, many problems are being solved, and the splashed out anger has not yet transformed into a vivid affect. In psychology, this is already referred to as the third stage.

Uncontrollable anger

At this stage, a person can do absolutely any crazy act. He is able to destroy everything in a row, cause physical harm, scream loudly and gesticulate. Such outbursts are typical for those who hid their emotions for a long time, or people with an unstable psyche. The latter need serious treatment, because if anger reaches this stage, then the personality has already undergone certain transformations that require urgent correction. Otherwise, a normal life becomes impossible for a person.

fading anger

At this stage, the flash goes out, and the person often repents of everything that he managed to do. In some cases, it is no longer possible to correct the consequences of the previous stage. Psychologists often observe a pattern in which repentance and the lack of options for correcting mistakes already made cause a new attack of anger from the third stage at once.

Types of anger

Psychologists distinguish quite a few types of anger, but three are considered the main ones:

1. Righteous.

It is caused by outright injustice against the individual. The person understands that the situation needs to be corrected immediately and righteous anger boils in him. Moreover, depending on the very psychotype of the personality, anger can arise at any of the stages described earlier.

2. Provoked.

Anger is directed at a situation, a particular person or group of people. Usually this emotion is caused by some action, most often insults or anger that has already been thrown out on a person. In the latter case, he is reciprocal and can be transformed into a righteous one.

3. Random.

It is caused by anything, a person can "flare up" with or without reason. Psychologists consider this anger a disease and declare the need for its treatment.

Psychologists pay great attention to the manifestation of anger in their work. They singled them out into certain models that affect the personality or are used by it for any purpose.

Manifestations of Anger: Patterns

First of all, you need to understand that anger almost always manifests itself in a combination of other emotions. For example, the anger-aggression pair always carries an extremely negative message. Aggression always pours out in an uncontrolled form and is often accompanied by material or physical damage. In the case when anger is manifested along with fear, these two emotions can feed each other and contribute to the mobilization of the body's forces.

Psychology has six main models of the manifestation of anger:

1. Family anger.

This model always has a very bad effect on children, because from the very early childhood they fall into an atmosphere of quarrels and scandals. Usually these are dysfunctional families where parents drink alcohol and do not raise children. Initially, the child is afraid of angry manifestations, and then adapts to them and adopts them as a model of behavior for himself. In the future, the personality acquires explosive features and reacts to any irritants with outbursts of uncontrollable anger.

2. Achievement of the goal.

In this model, anger is a tool that a person successfully uses to get what they want. With the help of anger, a person achieves obedience and transfers guilt for this outbreak to the opponent. For a short period, this model can be very effective, but over time, people stop responding to manifestations of anger and the effectiveness of this method decreases significantly.

3. Denial.

When a person acts according to this model, he replaces the fear of everything new and unknown with anger. Any innovative proposal causes a flash of anger in such a person.

4. Catalyst.

A person acting according to this scheme brings himself to an uncontrollable state of anger and only then can express his opinion to people on the situation or feel able to solve the problem. That is, the feeling of anger becomes a catalyst that gives vent to true emotions.

5. Endured anger.

This model can be well illustrated by the example of nationality. Imagine that once a person was offended by a representative of any nation. In the future, everyone who belongs to this nationality becomes the object of anger. Such a manifestation of anger can cause serious ethnic conflicts. In any case, the transference of anger is a very catastrophic pattern of manifestation.

6. Protection.

Many notorious personalities often show anger as a shield from any influences. environment. Usually this model of anger manifestation does not bring results, because it drives the person even deeper into a vicious circle of action-anger.

In addition to the described manifestations of anger, there are also physical ones that need to be described.

How does anger manifest itself on a physical level?

The physical manifestations of anger cannot be controlled by a person and are expressed in the following actions:

• swollen nostrils;
• vertical folds on the bridge of the nose;
• eyebrow reduction;
• rapid breathing;
• open mouth and clenched teeth;
• dilated pupils;
• focusing on the object of anger.

All this is accompanied by active gestures and often incoherent speech.

Anger is a fairly strong emotion and, according to psychologists, it can completely subjugate a person. Therefore, learn to manage your anger, let its manifestations be a civilized response to an insult or provocation from the outside.

Anger is the most toxic emotion
Subjective experiences of anger
Anger is experienced by a person as a rather unpleasant feeling. In anger, a person feels that his blood is “boiling”, his face is burning, his muscles are tense. The mobilization of energy is so great that it seems to a person that he will explode if he does not give vent to his anger in any way. Consciousness shrinks. A person is absorbed in the object to which anger is directed, and does not see anything around. Perception is limited, the functioning of memory, imagination, thinking is disorganized. In a situation of anger, a complex of emotions associated with it dominates: disgust (rejection of harmful objects) and contempt (experience of victory over an opponent as a source of this emotion). Anger and sadness (emotion arises as a reaction to the collapse of hopes, the inability to achieve the desired goal) are activated by similar shifts in neural activity, and the role of sadness is that it reduces the intensity of anger and the emotions of disgust and contempt associated with it. When a person is angry, anger overrides fear. A sense of physical strength and a sense of self-confidence (which is higher than in any other emotionally negative situation) fills a person with courage and courage. High level muscle tension (strength), self-confidence and impulsiveness generates readiness for an attack or other forms of physical activity.
Functions of Anger
Anger is one of the basic, fundamental emotions. Anger has played a big role in the survival of man as a species. It increases a person's ability to self-defense, aggressive behavior, and after all, a person, as he evolved, faced a wide variety of obstacles that he had to overcome. However, as civilization developed, a person began to feel less and less need for physical self-defense, and this function of anger was gradually reduced. A modern person should be able to use anger for his own good and the good of people close to him. He often needs to defend himself psychologically, and moderate, regulated anger, mobilizing energy, can help him defend his rights. In this case, his indignation will benefit not only him, but also the violator of the law or the rules established by society, endangering others. On the other hand, inadequate hostility brings suffering not only to the victim, but also to the aggressor. Therefore, this process must be regulated and hostility should not be allowed to cross the permitted boundaries, otherwise the person will be punished with feelings of shame and guilt. Moderate, controlled anger can be used to suppress fear. Possible positive consequences of anger: awareness of one's own mistakes, awareness of one's own strength, strengthening relationships with a former enemy. The latter has long been noticed by psychotherapists who advise people who are angry with each other to “keep the channels of communication open” (C.E. Izard). If a person freely expresses his anger, talks about the reasons that caused it, and allows the interlocutor to respond in kind, then he gains the opportunity to get to know his partner better and thereby strengthen relations with him. Communication between people is destroyed by verbal aggression if a person who feels anger seeks to "defeat" the partner at any cost. Some scientists believe that personality develops precisely because of conflicts and crises. A person rises to new levels of development, accepting the challenges that circumstances throw at him. Crises and their overcoming allow a person to understand himself more deeply. The experience and expression of anger (not to be confused with manifestations of aggression) can have positive consequences in cases where a person maintains sufficient control over himself. However, it must be remembered that any manifestation of anger is associated with a certain amount of risk.
Reasons for anger
The feeling of physical and psychological lack of freedom, as a rule, causes an emotion of anger in a person. People often get angry at all kinds of rules and regulations, because of which they feel constrained by the framework of conventions and unable to achieve the desired goal. Any obstacle to achieving the goal can cause anger. Annoying stimulation can also be a source of anger: unexpected pain, bad smells, exposure to heat, hunger, fatigue, discomfort, etc. It happens that anger causes long-term sadness. Feelings of disgust may be accompanied by anger. Anger is often accompanied by other feelings, the triad of hostility anger, disgust, contempt. Anger can also interact with the emotions of guilt and fear (the more fear, the less anger, and vice versa). The source of anger can be the thought of a mistake, injustice, undeserved resentment. Anger, for example, is caused by inflicted insults. And here the role is played not so much by the actions themselves, but by their interpretation, which causes anger (in the one who interprets these actions). Some actions cause a person to feel anger towards himself, others activate anger directed at the environment. Anger is contagious. Induced anger arises in the process of perceiving external manifestations partner's anger. Thus, anger, like any other emotion, can be activated by actions, thoughts, feelings (K.E. Izard).
Anger and aggression
Aggression refers to verbal and physical actions of an offensive or harmful nature. Whether anger will lead to aggressive actions or not depends on a number of individual characteristics a particular person and the situation in which he is. Aggressive behavior is due to a number of factors. The emotion of anger does not necessarily generate aggressive behavior. Most people, when they experience anger, most often suppress or significantly reduce the tendency to act, both verbally and physically. Anger creates a readiness for action, but does not force action. However, the frequent experience of anger increases the likelihood of some forms of aggressive behavior. The behavior of the aggressor is influenced by the very fact of the physical presence or absence of the victim. Hostility can be moderated by those at whom it is directed, both by an expression of threat and by an expression of submissiveness. In some cases, people can prevent a potential aggressor from attacking by showing fear and submissiveness and avoiding threatening actions. In other cases, on the contrary, the expression of a threat can prevent the further development of aggression. However, if a potential aggressor perceives himself as a winner, then the manifestation of anger on the part of a potential victim can provoke even more aggression. Neither manifestations of anger nor manifestations of aggression depend on age, which allows us to consider them as personality traits. The level of aggressiveness is, apparently, an innate characteristic of the individual and, as he grows up, acquires the character of a stable personality trait. Aggressiveness is often associated with sexual potency. Many people view aggressiveness as a sign of masculinity. However, this relationship is due not only to biological, but also to cultural factors.
Anger experienced by patients and healthcare workers
Patients experience pain, discomfort, because of their ill health they feel restrictions in their professional and personal life, they often suffer from the thought: “Why do I need all this? It's not fair!" Often they believe that doctors do not want or, because of their low qualifications, do not know how to alleviate their situation, and they direct their anger at them. The patient is convinced that he is obliged to be cured in this medical institution or sent to another. Here the source of anger is the conviction that doctors can alleviate suffering, but for some reason they do not. If he had admitted that the doctors are doing their best under these conditions and are not able to do more today, then perhaps he would not have experienced anger. There are many reasons for patients to feel anger, and it is not always due to the behavior of the nurse, although it is very often directed at her. The nurse needs to understand this. On the one hand, she needs to monitor her behavior so as not to actualize anger in her patients, and on the other hand, if the patient is angry with her, then one should not succumb to guilt. The reason for the patient's anger is the situation in which he is. It is important not to become infected with the patient’s anger, not to respond with anger to anger (“I try, I do everything I can, the salary is negligible, but he is still unhappy!”), otherwise you can fall into a vicious circle, which is very difficult to get out of. The patient's anger is (in a statistical sense) a common thing, no matter how well he is cared for. However, if uncontrolled anger attacks become more frequent (and this is dangerous for his own health), then the regulated anger of the nurse can reduce the level of anger he experiences (by activating fear). And the nurse has many reasons for anger. But she's a professional. And if the patient does not always know how to control his emotions, then she must be able to do something with them, while protecting her own health. At the same time, the nurse can use anger for the benefit of the patient. For example, if he is experiencing excessive sadness or fear, then it is useful to make him angry in order to get him out of his depression. The nurse has to develop the ability to self-defense in order to control her anger, not be infected by the anger of others and develop the appropriate social skills for this.
Consequences of Suppressing Outward Expressions of Anger
The ban on manifestations (facial expressions, intonation, verbal aggression, etc.) of the emotion of anger can disrupt the adaptation of the individual, interfere with clarity of thinking. A person who constantly suppresses his anger and is unable to adequately express it is at risk of psychosomatic disorders (Kholit, 1970). Unexpressed anger is considered by psychoanalysts as an etiological factor (although not the only one) of such diseases as rheumatoid arthritis, urticaria, psoriasis, stomach ulcers, migraine, Raynaud's disease and hypertension. How to control your anger Do not treat your anger with condemnation. It activates the impulses that come from our being. In a state of anger, a wave of energy rushes in search of an outlet. It can not only be contained (chronic containment is dangerous to health), but also transformed. It is important that a person manages his anger, and not anger manages a person. Relevant technologies are aimed at controlling their emotions, in particular anger. The expression of anger and related behavior can be constructive if a person seized with anger wants to establish, restore or maintain positive relationship with others. He must show others how he perceives the situation and how it makes him feel. It is important to express your feelings sincerely and unambiguously. This form of behavior creates the possibility of open two-way communication, in which there can be no “loser”. However, such communication is possible if the level of anger does not go off scale. It is useful to use express methods to reduce the level of tension caused by anger. So, if anger gives rise to aggression, and sadness gives rise to empathy, then by causing an angry person sympathy for the victim (stimulating his feelings of sadness) or fear (threatening him), you can thereby reduce the level of his situational aggressiveness. Anger involves preparing the body for physical action, which means that you need to offer the body physical relaxation. Physical activity in this case returns the body to a state of equilibrium. You can also use meditation techniques aimed at relaxing the body. Rational nutrition, sleep, and body hygiene help reduce the intensity of the experienced anger. It is useful to make a list of people whose anger causes you induced anger and avoid contact with them. Reflections: “How would I feel if I were the victim of my aggression?” subdue anger; thought: “If I were not overcome with anger, what would be the most rational way to behave in this difficult situation for me?” models behavior for the future. Thinking about the questions: “Due to the blockage of what desire of mine did I become angry? What obstacles prevent me from satisfying this desire? "dissolves" anger. Everyone has their own tricks that are useful for him to tame his anger. You can ask how colleagues deal with their anger at work, how they protect themselves when they are in the presence of an angry person. Also useful is the technique of self-observation, awareness of one's anger (paying attention to how anger arises, unfolds, stops), which stops the release of anger hormones into the body.
Nadezhda TVOROGOVA, doctor psychological sciences, Professor MMA them. I.N. Sechenov.

Is it worth holding back emotions?
Holding back your emotions can lead to serious health problems. Studies have shown that the suppression of emotions leads to high blood pressure, exhaustion of the immune system and increased pain sensitivity. Such people are in distress, often begin to abuse alcohol or drugs and regard others as their enemies, finding various reasons to justify themselves. Thus, the process of suppressing emotions leads to a change in the mental and physical state of a person. Therefore, experts on emotions recommend not to suppress emotions, say anger or aggressiveness, but to learn how to transform them in a positive direction, say, persistence. In reality, a person experiences anger and / or negative emotions every day, but their positive transformation helps to realize these feelings in a socially acceptable context with the least energy costs for the person himself. In this case, the negative effect of the suppression and repression of emotions will not be realized. Moreover, according to experts, the manifestation (realization) of negative emotions in a controlled mode is even necessary and balances physiological and psychological processes.
Negative emotions are useful if you know how to show them by controlling the process.
Uncontrolled anger can only harm yourself and others, but the ability to vent negative emotions, controlling them, helps to achieve great success, according to Harvard researchers. American scientists conducted a study during which they observed a group of 824 people over 44 years old. Those who were used to experiencing silently and not expressing their emotions were three times more likely to say that they had already reached the ceiling of their career. The head of the project, Professor George Welliant, says that it is generally accepted that anger is a very dangerous emotion and, in order to cope with it, it is recommended to train "positive thinking" that eradicates anger. Scientists have found that this approach is wrong and, in the end, turns against the person himself. Negative emotions, such as fear and anger, are innate and are of great importance, experts say. According to scientists, negative emotions are very important in order to survive. Professor Welliant, who is the director of Study of Adult Development, which published the results of the study, points out that uncontrolled anger is destructive. We all experience anger, but those people who know how to vent their rage while avoiding the dire consequences of unbridled outbursts of anger have achieved great results in terms of emotional growth and mental health, says the professor.
Anger and aggression are bad for the male heart
Expressions of anger and hostility towards others are significantly associated with high risk coronary disease hearts in healthy men and lead to an unfavorable outcome of cardiac disorders.
Cardiologists at University College London (UK) determined that feelings of anger and aggression increase the likelihood of coronary heart disease by 19% and 24% among healthy men and men diagnosed with heart problems, respectively. It has been noticed that negative emotions often harm the work of the male heart, and not the female one.
Doctors from the University of Tilburg /Netherlands/, who also took part in the study, believe that stressful conditions Everyday life have detrimental effects on men's heart health and have a significant impact on the development of chronic diseases in the future. According to them, psychological factors play a significant role in the progression of cardiac ischemia, leading to autonomic dysfunction. nervous system and increasing inflammatory processes due to the activity of C-reactive protein, interleukin-6, cortisol and fibrinogen. Men should take the data seriously and try to control their emotions, doctors say.

Anger management. The revelation of an experienced aggressor

Denis Dubravin
School of Emotional Intelligence

Probably no other topic arouses as much interest and enthusiasm as the topic of anger management. “You need to see a psychologist” or “Go get treated!” is a common prescription for a person who has problems with feelings of anger. For as long as I can remember, I have always had this feeling.

Breakdowns occurred regularly, my emotional nature did not find a place and constructive ways to express this energy. In this regard, I regularly got into various fights, in which I did not always come out the winner. Then I started to practice martial arts, because I understood that without it my outbursts of aggression would not have the desired result. After several years of training at the Tiger Dragon school, under the guidance of my teacher Alexander Sivak, I unexpectedly saw that my ardor began to fade and awareness and the ability to control the course of thoughts and feelings appeared.

Further, it remained to formalize this development into knowledge and reinforce the effectiveness with practice. I will not say that I completely got rid of this feeling, I think that this is impossible. However, during this time I have acquired a number of useful beliefs and techniques that help me in a variety of life situations. Interesting? Then we read on. I propose to move in order, since it is the correct order that is the key to success in curbing this feeling :)

If a person is angry, this indicates that he does not satisfy some important needs. Anger is a destructive feeling that gives a person a lot of energy. Negative energy begins to literally whip over the edge, narrowing the consciousness and adequate perception of reality, at the sight of the object of anger or the mention of it.

Initially, as a rule, but not always, there is a feeling of irritation, which turns into indignation, then into anger, and finally into rage. Anger mobilizes a person's energy, instills in him a sense of confidence and strength, suppresses fear. Anger creates a readiness for action. Perhaps in no other state does a person feel as strong and brave as in a state of anger. In anger, a person feels that his blood is "boiling", his face is burning, his muscles are tense. The feeling of his own strength prompts him to rush forward, to attack the offender. And the stronger his anger, the greater the need for physical action the stronger and more energetic the person feels. Isord

Emotions are an evolutionarily earlier mechanism for regulating behavior than the mind. Therefore, they choose simpler ways to solve life situations.
E.I. Golovakha, N.V. Panina

Anger is an emotion from the category of affects, which means that it can develop in a short time into a feeling of rage, which is inherently very destructive and difficult to control. Therefore, control over this feeling must be at the moment of its very occurrence.

“If an emotion is allowed, it goes free.” N. Kozlov

If anger is not reacted outwardly, it does not disappear. Being “swallowed”, it transforms into resentment, irritability, apathy, etc. Psychosomatic illnesses such as hypertension or diabetes mellitus, the two most common illnesses associated with anger suppression, may also occur.

What is the reason for the anger?

1. The main cause of anger is the infliction of pain. This is a natural reaction of the body, which has been brought to automatism by evolution.

2. Anger can be the result of other feelings. For example, after feelings of sadness, shame, fear. In this case, we can talk about the response to emotional pain.

3. Anger can arise from your thoughts. For example, your assessment of the actions of another person. This may be an unfair attitude to something, deceit, violation of agreements or disrespect.

The issue of anger management is a matter of the right beliefs and tools to help regulate this feeling.

For anger management to become the norm, you need to remember a few basic rules:

12 Rules for Anger Management

1. Decide to take control of your anger. Only by taking responsibility, you can begin to make changes in life. Also indicate why you need to manage this feeling, what opportunities and positive moments will appear thanks to this in your life.

2. Sustainable self-esteem. Take attacks in your direction as useful information. Don't take everything to heart. Find a solid foundation for your self-esteem.

3. Sports. Sports and any physical activity serve as an excellent prophylactic against the emergence of anger. Moreover, you will learn to endure pain and tension, and this will give you extra points in mastering this feeling.

4. Recognize the harbingers. Try to observe yourself when you are irritated: you may notice that your lips, jaw or fists are clenched, your shoulders are tense, your eyebrows are furrowed, etc. By learning to recognize the early warning signs of an impending “storm”, you buy time and will have time to do something.

5. Learning to think in a new way. Our feelings are a reflection of our thoughts. For example, if you are used to thinking in conflict situation something like "Well, that's it, I can't! I just can't stand it! How long can this go on!?”, then your emotional sphere reacts to such thoughts with an explosion of negative energy.

6. Tolerance and acceptance. One of the most destructive beliefs in our lives (in most cases unconscious) is that everything should be the way we want and immediately. Try to tell yourself more often that other people are not in order to meet your expectations about them. And also that events can develop according to their scenario, regardless of what you think is “right” and “wrong”.

7. Soften the blow. Say to yourself in difficult moments, for example, when someone criticizes you or a neighbor is undergoing repairs: “This gets on my nerves, but this is not fatal.” You will feel your own strength, and you will accept unpleasant events more calmly.

8. Reduce demands on others. Don't expect perfection from people. Highlight the main thing, priority for you, your life and your happiness. Constant "catching fleas" poisons the life of both you and those around you. Instead, think about what really matters to you.

9. Justification. “He does this on purpose to get me” - do not attribute bad motives to people: they are either not true or one-sided. Even if a person really plans evil, then “he does it because he is unhappy, disliked and misunderstood” - as a rule it turns out to be no less true than the previous assessment.

10. Anger management is very much the art of compassion. Change places mentally, look at the situation through his eyes. What do you see? Feel what he feels. What do you feel? Develop the ability to remember good things about a person in a conflict situation. At least it will be objective. “But all the same, I feel good with him (her) - what are the pies that she bakes alone worth (the evening that we spent yesterday, etc.)!

11. Humor. A good joke can quickly defuse a situation. Think about how you could joke in typical "warming up" situations, and practice using your "homemade" ones. Coming up with jokes when you're annoyed is a lot harder.

12. The result will come gradually. Anger management skills should be distinguished from knowledge of anger management skills. Acquiring them takes time and practice. You may know how to ride a bike, but not know how to do it until you start trying, and most importantly, do not continue to try, despite inevitable failures. Don't be too hard on yourself: none of us are perfect. There will definitely be breakdowns, but less and less if you continue self-study. Do not rush and do not beat yourself up for failures. Don't give up and everything will work out.
Many people have dramatically changed their lives by learning only three or four of the anger management techniques I have described, including myself. And you can. Source: Alexander Kuznetsov

Except general principles, which will help you master the feeling of anger, it is important to have a working instruction at hand, which, when practiced (at least 5-10 times), can become your skill and save you from a lot of problems. So:

1. Admitting to yourself that you got angry. Say out loud: “I am very angry / angry! Recognition is necessary to ensure continued, intelligent management of one's emotions.

2. Use the STOP technique. When you feel the level of anger building up, mentally tell yourself “STOP. After that, wait 5-10 seconds. At the moment when your emotions are ready to explode and burst into a storm on the offender, you get precious time to make the right decision in this situation.

3. Inhale deeply several times. This will help restore breathing and the rhythm of the heart. And also "ground" and again feel contact with the body. "Blow off steam" by saying plain language.

4. Put yourself in the place of the offender. Let's consider such a situation. Let's say you got nasty on public transport. The first reaction is to be rude in response. However, try to put yourself in the place of your offender. Maybe he has problems in the family, at work, or he is lonely and deeply unhappy. And he is rude not for pleasure, but unconsciously, due to a defensive reaction to more prosperous people than himself. Understanding that someone is in pain when they are angry helps develop compassion for the face rather than reacting with anger. This way you can take control of your negative emotions.

5. Choose a few options reactions. The pause gives you the opportunity to ask yourself the decisive question: What result do I want to get with this reaction?

6. Suggest a solution. Concentrate on possible solutions to the problem, and offer the person several options. Two or three options are better than one, because your opponent gets a sense of freedom of choice. Use the magic word - "let's ...". "Let's try this..."

Remember that anger is a bad helper in solving problems. Therefore, the best thing is to remain calm and balanced. When nerves go to hell, it is better to try to keep your mouth shut. (Harris)

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Subjective experiences of anger Anger is experienced by a person as a rather unpleasant feeling. In anger, a person feels that his blood is “boiling”, his face is burning, his muscles are tense. The mobilization of energy is so great that it seems to a person that he will explode if he does not give vent to his anger in any way. Consciousness shrinks. A person is absorbed in the object to which anger is directed, and does not see anything around. Perception is limited, the functioning of memory, imagination, thinking is disorganized. In a situation of anger, a complex of emotions associated with it dominates: disgust (rejection of harmful objects) and contempt (experience of victory over an opponent as a source of this emotion). Anger and sadness (emotion arises as a reaction to the collapse of hopes, the inability to achieve the desired goal) are activated by similar shifts in neural activity, and the role of sadness is that it reduces the intensity of anger and the emotions of disgust and contempt associated with it. When a person is angry, anger overrides fear. A sense of physical strength and a sense of self-confidence (which is higher than in any other emotionally negative situation) fills a person with courage and courage. A high level of muscle tension (strength), self-confidence and impulsivity generates a readiness for an attack or other forms of motor activity.

How anger is recognized:

1. Eyebrows lowered and brought together.

2. Shine in the eyes.

3. The mouth is closed, the lips are narrowed.

2.2 Functions of Anger

Anger is one of the basic, fundamental emotions. Anger has played a big role in the survival of man as a species. It increases a person's ability to self-defense, aggressive behavior, and after all, a person, as he evolved, faced a wide variety of obstacles that he had to overcome. However, as civilization developed, a person began to feel less and less need for physical self-defense, and this function of anger was gradually reduced. A modern person should be able to use anger for his own good and the good of people close to him. He often needs to defend himself psychologically, and moderate, regulated anger, mobilizing energy, can help him defend his rights. In this case, his indignation will benefit not only him, but also the violator of the law or the rules established by society, endangering others. On the other hand, inadequate hostility brings suffering not only to the victim, but also to the aggressor. Therefore, this process must be regulated and hostility should not be allowed to cross the permitted boundaries, otherwise the person will be punished with feelings of shame and guilt. Moderate, controlled anger can be used to suppress fear. Possible positive consequences of anger: awareness of one's own mistakes, awareness of one's own strength, strengthening relationships with a former enemy. The latter has long been noticed by psychotherapists who advise people who are angry with each other to “keep the channels of communication open” (C.E. Izard). If a person freely expresses his anger, talks about the reasons that caused it, and allows the interlocutor to respond in kind, then he gains the opportunity to get to know his partner better and thereby strengthens relations with him. Communication between people is destroyed by verbal aggression if a person who feels angry seeks to “defeat” his partner at any cost. Some scientists believe that personality develops precisely because of conflicts and crises. A person rises to new levels of development, accepting the challenges that circumstances throw at him. Crises and their overcoming allow a person to understand himself deeper. Experiencing and expressing anger (not to be confused with manifestations of aggression) can have positive consequences when a person maintains sufficient control over himself. However, it must be remembered that any manifestation of anger is associated with a certain amount of risk.