Synopsis of the book: Sharon Melnick - Resilience. How to stay calm and efficient in any situation. Sharon Melnick: Resilience. How to remain calm and highly effective in any situation

For many of us, stress has become the “new normal”: every day at work we process letters and calls, we take on many important tasks at once and do not have time to finish them, and at night we scroll through work tasks and conflicts in our heads.

The book Resilience to Stress by professional business psychologist Sharon Melnick outlines a methodology that can help you not only stay calm in stressful situations, but also find new opportunities for professional and personal development in them. It only takes a few minutes to start applying some of the techniques.

Sharon Melnick is a stress-resistance expert at Harvard Medical School, where she developed her methodology for over ten years, and the author of effective training that has helped thousands of people overcome the effects of stressful situations.
Published in Russian for the first time.

Introduction

How this book will help you

When you are at the peak of your abilities, you enjoy the work of successfully completing a project or closing a deal. You earn respect and are rewarded by making other people's lives better. You feel that you have achieved success and found your working rhythm. At the end of the day, your enthusiasm is enough to connect with people and activities that are important to you - and there is even time to gain peace of mind. But many have too much to do and too many obstacles lie in wait on the way to the goal - besides, you constantly have to deal with nervous and tense people.

Welcome to a new reality where all kinds of stresses exhaust you, making it increasingly difficult to stay afloat - not to mention succeed.

But you can do more than you think. Book " Stress tolerance” presents more than a hundred strategies to succeed in a stressful situation, whether it be problems in a relationship or an emergency at work when there is not enough time for anything. New knowledge and skills will provide you with stress resistance, giving you the ability to control every day of your life. By working less and earning more, you will always find time for reflection and contemplation.

As a business psychologist and having trained more than 6,000 people, I have watched some people confidently manage stress by successfully completing projects and not wasting energy, while others are simply struggling to survive. There is a set of skills that distinguish one group from another. Each of us already there is a treasury of valuable skills - it remains only to find the key to it.

Once you learn the secrets of stress resistance, how income will begin to grow before your eyes. Indeed, 71% of top managers worldwide confirm: psychological stability and the ability to see opportunities in every obstacle is "very" and even "extremely" important for them when choosing employees. Business owners who are strategic about planning their work day note fast growth your business.

I wrote a book about stress resistance to help you succeed and become a top performer without compromising your quality of life. Stressful situations will no longer ruin your day and prevent you from achieving your goal. You will learn and, more importantly, see opportunities in obstacles - the only way to eradicate stress. By distributing the workload, you will learn to overcome difficulties, generate new ideas and make unconventional decisions. You will learn how to motivate and influence people by making them your supporters (instead of wasting energy trying to get rid of feelings of powerlessness). You will speak out strongly in meetings and find mutual language with clients who until recently were too tough for you. If you encounter a problem or seemingly hopeless situation, the new tools described in the book will help you get out of the impasse and move on to the intended you way .

This book goes beyond the common truths about proper nutrition and healthy sleep, or - in a pinch already - about how to "take a deep breath and go out for a breath of fresh air." Of course, this approach helps many, but it is hardly able to reduce the impact modern rhythm on success and quality of life. Algorithm for exiting any difficult situation, described in the pages of this book, is based on three basic rules: you need to change your attitude to the problem, your physical reaction to the problem, or the problem itself.

  • Change your attitude towards the situation. If you look at the problem from a different angle, you can find new solutions.
  • Learn to manage your physiology. Focus when you're overwhelmed, find sources of energy when you feel like you're running out of energy, and calm down when you're agitated or irritated.
  • Solve the problem. Eliminate the source of stress, and you will never have to deal with it again!

Once you try any of these approaches, you will immediately notice how stress levels have decreased and efficiency has increased. And if you apply the elements all three approaches, you can cope with any stressful situation.

But most importantly: I understand how busy you are, and therefore almost any of the tools described can be mastered in less than three minutes. What benefit will you end up getting?

  • You will gain more control over your life. When you finally stop running in circles, you will begin to move straight towards your goal. You will reduce the stress associated with the constant fear of missing out on opportunities or failing to attract a client. You will achieve everything, once you learn to use your abilities 100%. You will end everything that consumed your time and energy; learn to say “no” when the tasks and projects assigned to you are moving you away from your desired goal.
  • Save energy and enthusiasm after a working day. The book talks about tools that will allow you to "turn on" and "off" at the click of a button. You will learn to focus when you need it and relax when you want to - it's a recipe for energy conservation, enjoyment and healthy sleep. You will find a balance between professional performance and full life and forget about your desire to please everyone - after all, you yourself have shouldered this burden. If you are prone to self-flagellation, if you feel that you are inferior to your competitors in some way, or if you take everything too personally, this book is for you - it will help you tune in to positive thinking. If you're afraid of speaking in front of an audience and can't pick up the phone and call a potential client who you think won't want to listen to you, this book will give you the confidence to take action. If you have to communicate with an unpleasant interlocutor, you will be able to quickly calm down and safely conduct a meeting. You will learn to disengage from emotions and control violent reactions.
  • See the opportunity in every obstacle. You will learn how to solve problems and get rid of stress, easily adapt your activities when, for example, priorities change or when you do not receive feedback on the work done. This book contains a plan of action and a set of skills that will enable you to thrive in today's dynamic world. You will discover the ability to “adapt and even enjoy ever-changing career opportunities, business models and starting conditions.” Soon, new perspectives will open up for you, allowing you to “come out of the shadows” and move forward with confidence. And if it seems to you that you have become a victim of circumstances and you see only obstacles in front of you - delays in production, the inability to move up the career ladder, achieve financial goals - you will learn to turn such situations to your advantage.

This book is for you if you:

  • you work in stressful conditions, when you constantly have to motivate people to achieve results;
  • manage your own business - and are responsible for all processes;
  • seek to reduce financial stress, feeling that you are already on the verge;
  • do not feel confident in yourself and therefore hinder your own success, or you overreact (especially when dealing with difficult people to communicate with).

In this book - an action plan and a set of tools to increase your stress resistance.

You can download an introductory fragment of the book (~20%) at the link:

Resilience - Sharon Melnick (download)

Read the full version of the book in the best online library Runet - Litres.

And finally, we offer you to watch an interesting video

What is this book about

Your days are probably similar to each other and follow the same killer stress scenario: you frantically answer emails and calls while trying to start and finish a lot of things, none of which can wait. And as a result, you have little time, you are in a bad mood, and you also get a portion of discontent from the boss. And at night, stay awake, going through work tasks and conflicts in your mind and wondering: how to deal with all this?

Professional business psychologist Sharon Melnick has been studying resilience techniques for over 10 years, and this book outlines a technique that has been successfully used by thousands of people who have completed her training.

With this book you:

Clearly define the boundaries of what you are really responsible for and how much you can really do yourself; and fulfilling their duties on high level you will feel the satisfaction of a job well done.

Arrange tasks in order of priority;

Learn to control emotions (not just your own!), translate even the most difficult conversations into a constructive channel, influence other people and understand them correctly. Thanks to this, you will gain self-confidence and good reputation in the company;

Master special exercises - breathing, physical, mental - that will reduce internal stress;

You will develop the right approach to interruptions and distractions, you will be able to competently alternate between work and rest, concentration and relaxation, and establish a healthy diet and sleep.

As a result, instead of haphazard and hopeless floundering in a sea of ​​affairs, you will be able to "ride the wave" of constant change and multitasking, learning to find new opportunities in difficulties.

It is this skill that distinguishes people who can succeed even in the most difficult and unstable environment.

Who is this book for?

For those who need to increase their own productivity without the threat of a nervous breakdown.

For those who have to communicate with "difficult" people.

For those who are not confident in themselves and too dependent on the opinions of others.

For those who have to motivate people to achieve results under stressful conditions (especially for business owners and top managers)

book chips

There are more than a hundred techniques in the book that, even individually, can increase productivity and reduce stress at the same time. Almost any of them can be mastered and applied in life in less than three minutes.

Together, they make up a coherent and powerful technique for increasing resilience.

I wrote this book to help you succeed within your company and become an expert in your field without compromising your quality of life.

What benefit will you get from it?

o You will gain more control over your life as you go from "running aimlessly" to a clear mind straight to achieving your goals. You will learn to better control your schedule. You will reduce the stress associated with the fear of missing out and learn how to use your talents. You will eliminate everything that sucked time and energy out of you; you will learn to say "no" when the tasks and projects assigned to you move away from your goals.

o You will feel energized and enthusiastic after the end of the working day. You will learn to concentrate when you need to and relax when you want to. You will learn to disengage from emotions and control violent reactions.

o You will see opportunity in every obstacle. You will learn how to solve problems and get rid of stress, gaining the ability to adapt when, say, priorities change, or when you do not receive feedback on the work done. You will discover your ability to endure and even enjoy ever-changing career opportunities, business models and starting conditions.

On our website you can download the book "Stress resistance. How to remain calm and efficient in any situation" Melnik Sheron for free and without registration in fb2, rtf, epub, pdf, txt format, read the book online or buy a book in an online store.

Highly good book, which is actually not about stress, but about time management :). / Although it's a no brainer that time management and stress management are very closely related; but the book is more about "time" than about "stress" :))/

Perhaps it would be more correct to call it "How to maintain efficiency and high productivity in any situation." Essentially a book about how to achieve high results, despite external interference and negative internal states (stress, lack of energy, etc.).

Perhaps the book will disappoint those who are "in the know" and are looking for "something new". The value of the book is not in the "brand new", but in literacy (from the point of view of scientific psychology and physiology) to provide recommendations for improving performance.

There are cases in the book, but there are few of them, i.e. the entire text is practically without "water" - these are only solid practical advice in the "take and do" style. The author packs his advice into clear step by step algorithms(e.g. "3 Strategies/Ways to Focus") or easy to remember and apply formulas (e.g. "3M2P formula" for prioritization; or "TIME" formula for responding to distractions, etc.). Generally, useful advice and there are VERY many "chips" in the book - it's simply not realistic to retell them in a short review.

Here are just a few ideas from the book:

What is the “stress cycle” and how to break it

What is "internal control" and "50% rule"

What is Directional Thinking and How to Stay Focused

How to manage your internal energy, based on an understanding of how our sympathetic / parasympathetic nervous system works

Very interesting about the differences between men and women in overcoming stress (for men, "fight or flight" for women, "take care and / or make friends" :)))

The book contains a lot of quick breathing techniques and physical exercises (mostly from yoga) that allow you to quickly "turn on" the desired working state.

Rules for planning, setting goals, choosing priorities, etc.

The author is well aware that the main "hindrance" in time management is the people around us. If we want to be effective, we need to be able to build relationships with others in a special way. The book on the subject has excellent sections on networking and how to influence others to help you rather than hinder you.

At the very end of the book there is a selection of the 12 best anti-stress techniques (they are also techniques for maintaining optimal performance). Ready to subscribe to each technique :), they are very effective.

What's important: The tips and examples in the book are focused on managerial/business situations. The book will be useful not only for yourself :), but also in the work of a manager working with people.

To be honest, I LOVED this book! It felt like I wrote it myself :). Moreover, there were coincidences even in small things, at the level of individual techniques. For example, Sharon Melnick suggests the "ideal work day" exercise; and I have been using it in my time management trainings for ten years already :).

For example, the author suggests compiling a "stress profile/profile" (that is, a list of signs by which you understand that you are losing your energy and efficiency). Similarly, at the trainings, I give the task of calibrating internal energy (performance): to present my "image of strength" and my "image of weakness".

/ I'll tell you a secret that there are a lot of such coincidences in the book;). Although I did not find anything fundamentally "new" in it, but there are a lot of "subtleties" in it. even the well-known techniques of time management and self-organization, any professional uses a little in his own way, and these details are just the most interesting /.


Sharon Melnick

Stress tolerance. How to remain calm and highly effective in any situation

SHARON MELNICK

Success Under Stress

Powerful Tools for Staying Calm, Confident, and Productive When the Pressure’s On

Success Under Stress: Powerful Tools for Staying Calm, Confident, and Productive When the Pressure’s On.

Published by AMACOM, a division of the American Management Association, International, New York. All rights reserved.

© 2013 Dr. Sharon Melnick

© Translation into Russian, edition in Russian, design. LLC "Mann, Ivanov and Ferber", 2014

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Legal support of the publishing house is provided by the law firm "Vegas-Lex"

© Electronic version of the book prepared by Litres (www.litres.ru)

This book is well complemented by:

Flexible mind

Carol Dweck

The Psychology of Achievement

Heidi Grant Halvorson

whole life

Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen

To my parents, Susan and Neil Melnick, for their generosity

To Dr. Joseph Levry for his wisdom

Introduction

How this book will help you

When you are at the peak of your abilities, you enjoy the work of successfully completing a project or closing a deal. You earn respect and are rewarded by making other people's lives better. You feel that you have achieved success and found your working rhythm. At the end of the day, your enthusiasm is enough to connect with people and activities that are important to you - and there is even time to find peace of mind. But many have too much to do and too many obstacles lurk on the way to the goal - besides, you constantly have to deal with nervous and tense people.

Welcome to a new reality where all kinds of stresses exhaust you, making it increasingly difficult to stay afloat - not to mention succeed.

But you can do more than you think. This book presents more than 100 strategies to succeed in a stressful situation, whether it's a relationship problem or a work rush when there's not enough time for anything. New knowledge and skills will provide you with stress resistance, giving you the ability to control every day of your life. By working less and earning more, you will always find time for reflection and contemplation.

As a business psychologist and having trained more than 6,000 people, I have watched some people confidently manage stress by successfully completing projects and not wasting energy, while others are simply struggling to survive. There is a set of skills that distinguish one group from another. Each of us already there is a treasure trove of valuable skills - it remains only to find the key to it.

Once you learn the secrets of stress resistance, how income will begin to grow before your eyes. Indeed, 71% of top managers around the world confirm that psychological stability and the ability to see new opportunities in every obstacle are “very” and even “extremely” important factors for them when choosing employees. Business owners who are strategic in their day-to-day planning are seeing rapid growth in their business.

I wrote a book on resilience to help you succeed and become a top performer without compromising your quality of life. Stressful situations will no longer ruin your day and prevent you from achieving your goal. You will learn to manage stress and, more importantly, to see opportunities in obstacles - the only way to eradicate stress. By distributing the workload, you will learn to overcome difficulties, generate new ideas and make unconventional decisions. You will learn how to motivate and influence people by making them your supporters (instead of wasting energy trying to get rid of feelings of powerlessness). You will speak out decisively in meetings and find a common language with clients who were too tough for you until recently. If you encounter a problem or seemingly hopeless situation, the new tools described in the book will help you get out of the impasse and move on to the intended you way.

This book goes beyond truisms about proper nutrition and healthy sleep, or - in a pinch - how to "take a deep breath and get some fresh air." Of course, this approach helps many, but it is hardly able to reduce the influence of the modern rhythm on the success and quality of life. The algorithm for getting out of any difficult situation, described on the pages of this book, is based on three basic rules: you need to change your attitude to the problem, your physical reaction to the problem or the problem itself.

Current page: 1 (total book has 18 pages) [accessible reading excerpt: 4 pages]

This book is well complemented by:

Flexible mind

Carol Dweck

The Psychology of Achievement

Heidi Grant Halvorson

whole life

Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield

Mark Victor Hansen

SHARON MELNICK


Success Under Stress

Powerful Tools for Staying Calm,

Confident, and Productive

When the Pressure's On

SHARON MELNIK


Stress tolerance

How to keep calm

and high efficiency

in all situations

Translation from English by Svetlana Chigrinets

Publishing house "Mann, Ivanov and Ferber"

Moscow, 2014

Information from the publisher

Published in Russian for the first time

Melnik, Sh.

Stress tolerance. How to keep calm and high efficiency in any situation / Sharon Melnick; per. from English. Svetlana Chirginets. - M. : Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2014.

ISBN 978-5-91657-951-2

For many of us, stress has become the “new normal”: every day at work we process letters and calls, we take on many important tasks at once and do not have time to finish them, and at night we scroll through work tasks and conflicts in our heads.

The book by professional business psychologist Sharon Melnick outlines a methodology by which you can not only remain calm in stressful situations, but also find new opportunities for professional and personal development in them. It only takes a few minutes to start applying some of the techniques.

Sharon Melnick is a stress-resistance expert at Harvard Medical School, where she developed her methodology for over ten years, and the author of effective training that has helped several thousand people overcome the effects of stressful situations.

Success Under Stress: Powerful Tools for Staying Calm, Confident, and Productive When the Pressure’s On.

Published by AMACOM, a division of the American Management Association, International, New York. All rights reserved.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced for any purpose in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording on magnetic media, without the written permission of the publisher.

Legal support of the publishing house is provided by the law firm "Vegas-Lex"

© 2013 Dr. Sharon Melnick

© Translation into Russian, edition in Russian, design. LLC "Mann, Ivanov and Ferber", 2014

To my parents, Susan and Neil Melnick, for their generosity

To Dr. Joseph Levry for his wisdom

Introduction

How this book will help you

When you are at the peak of your abilities, you enjoy the work of successfully completing a project or closing a deal. You earn respect and are rewarded by making other people's lives better. You feel that you have achieved success and found your working rhythm. At the end of the day, your enthusiasm is enough to connect with people and activities that are important to you - and there is even time to find peace of mind. But many have too much to do and too many obstacles lurk on the way to the goal - besides, you constantly have to deal with nervous and tense people.

Welcome to a new reality where all kinds of stresses exhaust you, making it increasingly difficult to stay afloat - not to mention succeed.

But you can do more than you think. This book presents more than 100 strategies to succeed in a stressful situation, whether it's a relationship problem or a work rush when there's not enough time for anything. New knowledge and skills will provide you with stress resistance, giving you the ability to control every day of your life. By working less and earning more, you will always find time for reflection and contemplation.

As a business psychologist and having trained more than 6,000 people, I have watched some people confidently manage stress by successfully completing projects and not wasting energy, while others are simply struggling to survive. There is a set of skills that distinguish one group from another. Each of us already there is a treasure trove of valuable skills - it remains only to find the key to it.

Once you learn the secrets of stress resistance, how income will begin to grow before your eyes. Indeed, 71% of top managers around the world confirm that psychological stability and the ability to see new opportunities in every obstacle are “very” and even “extremely” important factors for them when choosing employees1. Business owners who are strategic in their day-to-day planning are seeing rapid growth in their business.

I wrote a book on resilience to help you succeed and become a top performer without compromising your quality of life. Stressful situations will no longer ruin your day and prevent you from achieving your goal. You will learn to manage stress and, more importantly, to see opportunities in obstacles - the only way to eradicate stress. By distributing the workload, you will learn to overcome difficulties, generate new ideas and make unconventional decisions. You will learn how to motivate and influence people by making them your supporters (instead of wasting energy trying to get rid of feelings of powerlessness). You will speak out decisively in meetings and find a common language with clients who were too tough for you until recently. If you encounter a problem or seemingly hopeless situation, the new tools described in the book will help you get out of the impasse and move on to the intended you way.

This book goes beyond truisms about proper nutrition and healthy sleep, or - in a pinch - how to "take a deep breath and get some fresh air." Of course, this approach helps many, but it is hardly able to reduce the influence of the modern rhythm on the success and quality of life. The algorithm for getting out of any difficult situation, described on the pages of this book, is based on three basic rules: you need to change your attitude to the problem, your physical reaction to the problem or the problem itself.

Change your attitude towards the situation. If you look at the problem from a different angle, you can find new solutions.

Learnmanage your physiology. Focus when you're overwhelmed, find sources of energy when you feel like you're running out of energy, and calm down when you're agitated or irritated.

Solve the problem. Eliminate the source of stress, and you will never have to deal with it again!

Once you try any of these approaches, you will immediately notice how stress levels have decreased and efficiency has increased. And if you apply the elements all three approaches, you can cope with any stressful situation.

But most importantly: I understand how busy you are, and therefore almost any of the tools described can be mastered in less than three minutes. What benefit will you end up getting?

You will have more control overwith your life. When you finally stop running in circles, you will begin to move straight towards your goal. You will learn to better control your schedule, reduce the stress associated with the constant fear of missing out on opportunities or failing to attract a client. You will achieve everything, once you learn to use your abilities 100%. You will end everything that consumed your time and energy; learn to say “no” when the tasks and projects assigned to you are moving you away from your desired goal.

Save energy and enthusiasm after a working day. The book talks about tools that will allow you to "turn on" and "off" at the click of a button. You will learn to focus when you need it and relax when you want to - it's a recipe for conserving energy, enjoying life and healthy sleep. You will find a balance between professional work and a fulfilling life and forget about your desire to please everyone - you yourself have taken on this burden. If you are prone to self-flagellation, if you feel that you are inferior to your competitors in some way, or if you take everything too personally, this book is for you - it will help you tune in to positive thinking. If you're afraid of speaking in front of an audience and can't pick up the phone and call a potential client who you think won't want to listen to you, this book will give you the confidence to take action. If you have to communicate with an unpleasant interlocutor, you will be able to quickly calm down and safely conduct a meeting. You will learn to disengage from emotions and control violent reactions.

See the opportunity in every obstacle. You will learn how to solve problems and get rid of stress, easily adapt your activities when, for example, priorities change or when you do not receive feedback on the work done. This book contains a plan of action and a set of skills that will enable you to thrive in today's dynamic world. You will discover the ability to “adapt and even enjoy ever-changing career opportunities, business models and starting conditions”2. Soon, new perspectives will open up for you, allowing you to “come out of the shadows” and move forward with confidence. And if it seems to you that you have become a victim of circumstances and you see only obstacles in front of you - delays in production, the inability to move up the career ladder, achieve financial goals - you will learn to turn such situations to your advantage.

This book is for you if you:

you work in stressful conditions, when you constantly have to motivate people to achieve results;

manage your own business - and are responsible for all processes;

seek to reduce financial stress, feeling that you are already on the verge;

do not feel confident in yourself and therefore hinder your own success, or you overreact (especially when dealing with difficult people to communicate with).

This book contains a plan of action and a set of tools to increase your resilience.

Section I

about how to regain power over circumstances and achieve success in a new reality

Chapter 1 Manage Stress: From Stress Survival to Success

You will learn why you fall into the trap of stress again and again, and understand how easy it is to turn the situation in your favor.

Chapter 2 Control What You Can: The 50% Rule

There is only one way to dramatically increase efficiency, achieve goals, and reduce stress. In this chapter, you will discover this path for yourself.

Section II

about stress caused by an excess of tasks and obstacles on the way to the goal

Chapter 3

Step away from endless tasks, assignments and requests and rush to your goal. Learn to turn difficulties into opportunities. Think positively and strive to achieve your goals - a reasonable detachment will not hurt here if you have to work in stressful conditions.

Chapter 4

Learn the secret of high performance and learn to find innovative solutions in any situation - develop the ability to clearly concentrate and maintain energy throughout the day, as well as instantly calm down and restore strength. There are two ways to find peace of mind and clarity of mind: you can do three minutes of exercises without getting up from your desk, or 90 minutes of yoga - which will you choose? Learn to wake up suddenly in the middle of the night from worry about a lot of unresolved problems, fall asleep again in three minutes. When you are at work, it is important to think about business, but when you come home in the evening, do not forget to leave thoughts about work at the door. Enjoy time off from work without feeling guilty.

Chapter 5

Reduce your to-do list and complete projects faster. Work on what benefits you by focusing only on the important tasks, not letting the little things distract you, even if you have to fight on multiple fronts. Increase efficiency - get it right the first time, reach consensus in meetings, and don't procrastinate on problem solving. Although the flow of people and tasks that require your attention is unlikely to decrease, you will have a choice - to pay attention to them or not. This behavior will earn you respect.

Section III

about how to stop depending on the opinions of others and cope with the stress that you have imposed on yourself

Chapter 6

Do you strive to get the approval of other people, do you worry about what others will think of you, do you tend to procrastinate until the last minute, are you afraid to ask for a promotion or a pay raise that you deserve? Stop wasting time and energy. Believe in your strength.

Chapter 7

Do you need a boost of confidence? Worried about a presentation? This chapter explores the contents of your always-accessible "internal first aid kit" and teaches you how to relieve tension, regaining fearlessness and focus.

Chapter 8

You will learn to trust your own judgment and make decisions quickly and without painful thought. The newfound self-confidence will help you overcome the tendency to perfectionism and procrastination. Finally, you will understand how not to build obstacles for yourself!

Section IV

about how to make sure that stress does not interfere with relationships with other people

Chapter 9

Are you taking everything too personally? Then you will have a tool that will help you stay sane, and not give in to the first emotional impulse and then regret what was said. Difficult people in communication will no longer be able to take over you, unbalancing you. You will always be respected for speaking to the point and demonstrating excellent leadership qualities.

Chapter 10

Remain calm and collected even when you are dealing with a person who annoys you in some way (in parallel, your interlocutor will magically calm down). By the way, this tactic can be used at home with children! This is how you learn to avoid negative emotions.

Chapter 11

How wonderful it would be to have a control panel for people to make them do what you want. But there is a better way - to learn how to really influence the behavior of other people, smoothing sharp corners and speeding up the workflow. You will pick up the key to an employee who does not show proper results, and you will be able to motivate him to timely and high-quality work.

Section V

how to create a favorable atmosphere around yourself and increase stress resistance

Chapter 12

Shift your idea of ​​work-life balance away from the ratio of time you spend between work and play. By learning how to balance your work day and control your response to stress, you will balance work and life in general. Find out how in modern world making a conscious choice to become the master of your destiny - only in this way you will be effective both at work and at home.

Chapter 13

Once you improve your own stress tolerance, you can teach your colleagues and loved ones to relieve stress and act more effectively. This is how you create the culture you want to be a part of, whether it's the culture of your team, your company, or your family.

Each strategy in this book will help you step out of the circumstances in which you are trying to survive and take a step toward efficiency; you become an innovator and intrapreneur in your company; leader in their professional field. Don't wait for the approval of others. Don't wait for the situation to change before you learn how to deal with stress. Just use the suggested strategies to increase your stress resistance.

SECTION I

Constant stress: recuperating to succeed

Do you think that you are the only one in constant tension? If so, “eavesdrop” on two telephone conversations to see if these situations and their characters are familiar to you.

“I never admitted this to anyone before,” Stacey told me. “But I can't do this anymore. And sometimes it starts to seem to me that I don’t want to anymore. ”

Stacey is a working mom, she heads the customer support department (this is the middle of her career ladder). When she called me for a consultation, the first thing she said was that she was under enormous stress due to the fact that she had to manage many projects. “I know I expect too much of myself, but I don't want to lower the bar,” Stacey continued. “My assistant is constantly making mistakes, and I am afraid that one day her mistake will affect our clients. I sleep poorly, wake up in the middle of the night, and during the day I quickly get exhausted. Lately, I often take it out on the children and constantly feel guilty. ”

There was hopelessness in Stacey's voice. In a constantly changing environment, she set herself a frantic pace and could not properly prioritize. She tried to cope with everything herself, but every day she only got deeper into the quagmire of problems. A true perfectionist, she believed that she was responsible for all mistakes. And, despite the insane fatigue, she stubbornly continued to go forward.

We solved all Stacy's problems in just a few weeks! First, I taught her techniques to help her fall asleep again within three minutes - from now on, she feels rested in the morning. Then we ranked in order of importance all the projects that Stacey leads - and there are no less than 61 of them. Having learned to analyze less and do more, she finally realized that she manages to do a lot in one working day. Stacey has mastered the tools to help her focus when needed, but at the same time right time relax and spend time with family. Stacy's life has become more balanced. Having mastered communication techniques that allowed her to minimize assistant errors, Stacey breathed a sigh of relief. Thanks to the acquired skills, she managed to take control of many things in her life, learned to cope with her self-critical “inner voice” and show restraint when communicating with children. As a result, she gradually shed her guilt at home and increased her leadership potential at work. Four months later, Stacey got a new position.

Dan, the owner of a financial planning company, said: “I have set ambitious goals for myself, but I just can't achieve them. I'm tired of constantly chasing small fry - I want to attract " big fish", like others. It seems to me that I have to constantly work in order not to miss a client, and for this I pay for the lack of the quality of life that I so stubbornly strive for. Every morning I come to the office with a ready-made work plan, but I am constantly distracted and everything goes as it should. On top of that, my business partner is simply unbearable.”

Since Dan was unable to see the whole picture of what was happening, many tasks were out of his control. He came home disappointed, and returned to work, slipped again and again. Not really believing in his own strength, he did not dare to start hunting for "big fish". He was upset, nervous, and besides, he was under pressure from financial circumstances.

Dan was ready to break through to the next level of success. To do this, we modeled a business strategy, taking into account his abilities and formulating what he might be interested in that very “big fish”. He realized in which direction he needed to move and what actions would help him achieve his goal. As soon as he developed a system that reduced the burden of paperwork, the stress receded, giving way to clear thinking. It was at this moment that Dan discovered strategies that could quickly restore his lost balance and help him look calm and confident in the eyes of others. Within a month, "big fish" appeared on the list of his clients. And three months later, he made the most serious deal of his entire career. With a business partner, they "came to a peace agreement." Dan is now spending more time with his young wife and is finally able to enjoy the quality of life he worked so hard for!

Do you feel the same way Dan and Stacey do—like every day you're paddling against the current as hard as you can, but you can't move? Are you working too hard but not achieving the financial well-being or quality of life you dream of? Or maybe you are still making progress, but the price is too high for you and your family?

If so, you can change course. With the right attitude to the process, even coal can be turned into a diamond. Stacey got promoted and Dan caught "big fish". The following chapters describe all the necessary strategies (and even a little more). If you're already doing well in your new reality, now is the time to learn how to do the same for less. If you are exhausted, you will receive a set of tools with which you can keep the situation under control. As in Stacey and Dan's stories, the skills you learn will help you get more value out of your work. You will find a balance between professional and personal life and strengthen your financial position. You will set the rules yourself, and not just react to a situation beyond your control.

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