People hypersensitive to its elements. Sensitive people: what to do if you are one of them? Prepare for the test

Current page: 1 (book has 2 pages in total) [available reading passage: 1 pages]

Font:

100% +

Ted Zeff
Hypersensitive people. From difficulties to advantages

Published with permission from New Harbinger Publications

Scientific editor Tatyana Lapshina

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

* * *

Preface

Ted shares with readers insightful insights, fascinating stories about how hypersensitive people and wonderful people cope practical advice how they can support body and spirit. But the main thing is that it forms an attentive, respectful attitude towards hypersensitive people. We were lucky enough to attract his attention.

Anyone familiar with my work will probably notice that Ted and I look at many things differently, and perhaps this will change your view of them. Great importance has an understanding that, despite the similarities nervous system, we solve problems and treat things differently. The more reasoned opinions, so much the better—and Ted's point is worth considering.

Elaine Aaron

Introduction

“When will the neighbors finally turn off the music? She drives me crazy. I can't stand her anymore." - "What music? I can't hear her. The noise shouldn't be that annoying. There's something wrong with you."

There's really no need to worry if you're sensitive to noise, smells, bright lights, have a hard time with crowds, rush, and are unable to ignore stimuli. You're just one of the 15-20% of people who are called hypersensitive. This quality probably creates a lot of problems for you, for example, a tendency to lower your self-esteem if others say that you are not like everyone else. Or anxiety and tension when you have to communicate with cheeky, hostile people. You also find it difficult to pull yourself together when faced with constant stimuli throughout the day. This book will teach you a variety of ways to survive and thrive in a world of non-HSPs who are less afraid of aggression and overexertion. By using the strategies suggested here to manage your difference, you will appreciate your sensitivity and all the benefits of being an HSP.

The book is not only intended for hypersensitive people. She will teach those who do not fall into this category how to support their sensitive friends and family. Additionally, the coping strategies I share can help anyone experience peace of mind more often.

Why I wrote this book

I specifically remember that I started experiencing anxiety and insomnia when I was in fifth grade due to overcrowding at school. I couldn't ignore stimuli and became anxious when I was in a noisy classroom. By seventh grade school life became even heavier. I was constantly stressed and could not concentrate in class. My parents took me to a psychologist to figure out why I “reacted so strongly to everything” both at school and at home. Unfortunately, the doctor, who was not one of the hypersensitive people, did not understand me and reproached me for being excessively irritable.

Twenty years later, while pursuing a PhD in psychology with a specialization in stress management, I discovered that my inability to ignore stimuli was the root cause of my anxiety. Trying to fit into an aggressive world only increased my stress. So I made important changes to my lifestyle: I started suppressing my excitement, sticking to a workout schedule that suited me, changing my diet, and practicing relaxation. I also learned to appreciate and accept my sensitivity. The knowledge gained during my postgraduate studies led me to research in the fields of nutrition, meditation and holistic medicine 1
Holistic health (or holistic medicine) is a movement of alternative medicine that focuses on treating the “whole person” rather than just a specific disease. – Note ed.

For hypersensitive people. Based on them, I conducted stress management classes with medical staff in hospitals and colleges. Now I teach survival strategies to highly sensitive people and am ready to share it with readers. The methods I describe are effective for both my hypersensitive students and me.

What will you learn

In the book I will share with you what I have learned as a hypersensitive person and psychologist. I’ll tell you about the study of the concept of “hypersensitivity” in a dynamic, crazy world. I'll introduce practical methods and strategies for HSPs to succeed in life.

You'll learn how society reinforces HSPs' negative self-perceptions, how to appreciate your sensitivity, and change habits that disrupt your peace. I will talk about meditative exercises that can help you stay focused and calm, and I will teach you how to create a daily routine that promotes a calmer attitude towards external stimuli.

The book provides ways to influence your feelings and combat haste. You will learn how to maintain physical health through diet, exercise, and some aids.

Overexertion is closely related to sleep, so we will focus on adjusting sleep phases. You will also learn about innovative methods relaxations that will improve it. You may not have considered how being an HSP affects your relationships. This is an interesting and very important aspect of the lives of highly sensitive people. Special methods of harmonious communication with relatives, friends and colleagues will be a pleasant addition to the arsenal of a hypersensitive person.

We will discuss the unique challenges HSPs face in today's competitive work environment and how to cope with this stress, exploring techniques to change challenging environments and create a calm work environment.

You will understand how your natural tendency to experience deep emotions can help you experience inner peace. I will tell you how to develop your subtle mental organization and realize the benefits of your life.

We'll look at frequently asked questions by HSPs about how to deal with difficult situations. For example, how to tolerate noise, get along with ill-mannered neighbors and colleagues with a difficult character, and behave with relatives who ignore your sensitivity. And you will get practical solutions. The last chapter is a self-healing guide for highly sensitive people.

Now that you know why I wrote this book and what it is about, it is time to begin the journey to peace of mind.

Chapter 1. Introduction to the concept of “highly sensitive person”

“I can no longer deal with the stress at work. A colleague at the next table discusses something at the top of his voice all day, and the boss demands that I strictly adhere to deadlines. At the end of the day I feel like a squeezed lemon, I’m nervous and I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.”

“Everyone in my family is passionate about adventure, but I prefer to stay at home. I think there’s something wrong with me because I don’t go anywhere after work or on weekends.”

Do you know this feeling? If yes, then you may be a hypersensitive person.

What is a highly sensitive person?

After Elaine Aron's wonderful book, The Highly Sensitive Nature, was published in 1996. How to succeed in a crazy world" 2
Aaron E. Hypersensitive nature. How to succeed in a crazy world. M.: Azbuka Business: Azbuka-Atticus, 2014. – Note ed.

Hundreds of thousands of hypersensitive people have realized that a finely tuned nervous system does not make them inferior. Approximately 15–20% of the population are unable to ignore stimuli: they can easily be upset by noise, crowds or rush. These people tend to react strongly to pain, caffeine, and violent movies. Bright lights, strong smells and life changes make them uncomfortable. In this guide, you'll find many new coping strategies to help you stay calm in today's crazy world, turning high sensitivity into peace of mind and joy.

For highly sensitive people growing up in a society full of aggression and overexertion, they may seem difficult. I grew up in the era of heroes like John Wayne 3
John Wayne (1907–1979) was an American actor who was called the “King of the Western.” – Note ed.

When it was believed that a real man should be strong, resilient and taciturn. As a highly sensitive child, I had trouble adjusting to school and thought there was something wrong with me. At an early age, I thought of myself as bad, believing the lie that being sensitive was terrible. The emotional pain I experienced in my youth is closely related to my lack of awareness of my own nervous system.

As adults, people may also suffer from a lack of knowledge about their sensitivities. HSPs are negatively impacted by a fast-paced, aggressive society. You can easily feel exhausted and constantly stressed for a variety of reasons - from depictions of violence and cruelty in the media to the cacophonous noise of the city.

Since there are relatively few hypersensitive people, they often try to separate public views majority. But as they try to fit into an unbalanced world, their physical, emotional and spiritual health suffers.

Questionnaire for a hypersensitive person

Many years ago, when I received a self-diagnosis test for hypersensitivity developed by Elaine Aaron, I was amazed at how well it suited me: I answered yes to all the questions. However, there are many differences between highly sensitive people. Some people cannot stand noise but are not bothered by smells; others do not respond to sounds but are bothered by bright lights.

The term “oversensitive” can evoke both positive and negative reactions. Various dictionaries offer the following synonyms for the word “sensitivity”: “empathy”, “sympathy”, “understanding” and “kindness”. However, for some of my respondents, the concept of “highly sensitive” evoked feelings of shame and a sense of failure. I tried to desensitize them during self-diagnosis.

Many people now consider sensitivity to be a positive trait. I noticed that respondents who did not want to appear “insensitive” deliberately spent a lot of time answering, trying in every possible way to confirm their sensitivity. Try to become aware of how you feel about being “highly sensitive” when you take the test.

Are you a hypersensitive person? Self-diagnosis 4
Translation of the test from the original book by Elaine Aaron “The Highly Sensitive Person”.

Choose an answer to each statement depending on your feelings. Mark “true” (B) if something applies to you, and “false” (F) when the statement has nothing to do with you.

I subtly feel all the nuances of the environment V N

I am influenced by the mood of other people V N

I am very sensitive to pain V N

On stressful days, I feel the need to crawl into bed, go to a dark room, or some other place where I can be alone and feel relief.

I am extremely sensitive to the effects of caffeine B N

I am easily disturbed by bright lights, strong smells, rough fabrics, or the sound of a siren.

I have a rich inner life V N

Loud sounds and noise make me uncomfortable V N

I am deeply touched by art V N

I am conscious V N

I get scared easily V N

I get nervous when I have a lot to do in a short time.

When people feel uncomfortable, I know what to do to make them feel more comfortable (for example, seat them differently or change the lighting) V N

I get irritated when I am asked to do too many things at once.

I try my best to avoid mistakes and not forget anything.

I prefer not to watch films and TV shows with scenes of violence.

I get irritated when there is too much fuss around me V N

Severe hunger causes an acute reaction in me, prevents me from concentrating and spoils my mood.

Life changes lead me to stress V N

I notice subtle smells and sounds, I am able to appreciate the taste of delicious dishes, elegant works of art and enjoy them.

One of my key goals is to avoid upsets and situations that unsettle me V N

When I am forced to compete with someone or feel that my actions are being watched, I get nervous and do things much worse than usual.

When I was a child, my parents and teachers thought I was sensitive or shy.

Defining Results

If you chose the answer “true” for 12 or more statements, then most likely you are a hypersensitive person. But we must admit that not one psychological test does not guarantee such accuracy that you can build your life according to its results. If you answered “true” to only one or two statements, but they are extremely close to you, you may also consider yourself a highly sensitive person.

Nervous system of hypersensitive people

From an interview with neurotherapist Carolyn Robertson on November 10, 2003, I learned that HSPs have higher brainwave frequencies in the theta state than others. 5
Theta waves occur when calm, relaxed wakefulness transitions into sleepiness. Vibrations in the brain become slower and more rhythmic. This state is also called twilight, because in it a person is between sleep and wakefulness. Normally, theta waves are associated with changes in the state of consciousness. Often this state is accompanied by the vision of unexpected, dream-like images, accompanied by vivid memories. – Note ed.

It is in it that a person is maximally open to intuitive sensations and is able to more fully perceive light, sound and other subtle vibrations. Because people who engage in deep meditation (regardless of their sensitivity) are often in the theta state, they are able to filter out their sensations through concentration.

But when HSPs don't focus on their inner world, they get irritated much faster than others. You can tell they have a hard time switching off from minor stimuli. But who can accurately determine what is insignificant? We don't pay attention to the exit sign until the fire starts.

Highly sensitive people must learn to ignore or protect themselves from uninvited stimuli. Especially those who have a history of chronic inability to avoid overexertion (Eiron, 1996). Donna, an attractive, intelligent 45-year-old woman, was in my HSP class. She said that sometimes she felt as if she had no skin and, like a sponge, absorbed everything that came in her way. According to her, the inability to protect herself from a barrage of negative influences at home and at school led her to aggression as a child. This was how she reacted to the daily attacks on her nervous system.

In class, Donna admitted that at age 13, her parents took her to a neurologist. The girl's electroencephalogram reflected a variable pattern of brain activity that could contribute to her intense reactions to stimuli. The doctor prescribed drugs to suppress strong reactions to stimuli, and Donna felt that she felt better. However, as an adult, she realized: if there were sensitive people around, loving people, who understood her sensitivity, she would not have to experience such strong emotions and take medications. Of course, medications are helpful in some situations. But I recommend taking a holistic approach to deal with your sensitive nervous system.

Social values and sensitivity

In the last 10–20 years, society has become more accepting of sensitivity, and social values have changed for the better. Many people now consider sensitivity to be a positive character trait. Recently, the media have begun to talk about the relationship between stress-related diseases and stressful working conditions. The question is being discussed whether it is worth working under severe pressure if it undermines your health.

Although progressive people accept sensitivity as a value for both men and women, the manifestation of overexertion in our society has increased to alarming levels. In the 1960s, The Beatles' touching song "I Want to Hold Your Hand" was popular. Today, pounding music is often overlaid with harsh lyrics and unrestrained violence. For the previous generation of schoolchildren, truancy was considered one of the most serious violations, but now in many educational institutions Security is on duty and metal detectors are installed.

In the 1950s there were three or four television channels - today there are about a thousand. They broadcast a huge number of shows filled with scenes of sex and violence. Home phones have been replaced by mobile phones, creating a cacophony of calls around the world. I was recently climbing a stunning mountain peak in Colorado, enjoying the serenity of the surroundings, while a man climbed next to me and shouted into the phone, “I told you I should sell my stock.”

Thirty to forty years ago, most people shopped at small neighborhood stores and knew the clerks or owners. Now in cities, almost all private shops have been replaced by giant impersonal corporations. And you are forced to fight with hordes of other buyers during sales or wander among endless shelves of goods in search of a few sellers who are lazy to work for their meager salaries. It's not hard to see why today's highly sensitive people find shopping a source of emotional exhaustion. One day I was looking through a comic book in which the heroine was a young woman looking for toothpaste in a store. She became increasingly irritated, trying to understand the huge number of brands and varieties: anti-caries, with and without fluoride, anti-gingivitis, with bleach, gel, striped, for smokers, gum protection, saving 15% on a large tube and 20% - on a very large one. After studying all the products from which she had to choose, she felt so tired that she went home to lie down and rest.

Sensitivity to stimuli depends on age. Children and older people are more likely to experience overexertion. Until kids have learned to express themselves, they react violently to everything. (For more information about highly sensitive children, see Elaine Aron's book, The Highly Sensitive Child. 6
Aaron E. Highly sensitive child. M.: Resurs, 2013. – Note ed.

It describes the unusual challenges that parents face.) During adolescence and young adulthood, HSPs are more resilient and less susceptible to stimuli. Some hypersensitive teenagers may listen to loud music and party all night long. As we get older, our ability to perceive stimuli decreases. Most middle-aged hypersensitive people tend to go to bed early and avoid society. However, you always need to look for a balance between too strong irritants and almost complete absence of them. After age 65, the ability to resist stimuli continues to decline.

Since quite aggressive behavior prevails in many countries, for highly sensitive people the need to adapt to the values of “ordinary” people is a real challenge. The adaptation of HSPs depends on the culture in which they were raised. In studies conducted among Canadian and Chinese schoolchildren, it was found that in Canada, hypersensitive children were not very favored, but in China they were given preference (Eiron, 2002). Once, a student from Thailand who came to the United States as an exchange student lived with me for a whole year. Sixteen-year-old Thawne was a quiet, sensitive guy. He said that Thais value kindness and gentleness. Most talk and walk calmly, and are perhaps the gentlest people in the world. He and his Thai friends had soft, melodious voices. It was very difficult for Thone to fit into the aggressive environment of American youths, who valued tough and militant behavior, and considered softness and sentimentality as shortcomings. He learned to block his sensitivity and be more assertive in order to survive in Western culture non-HSP

Residents different countries are unequally affected by stimuli. Research has found that the Dutch are much calmer towards infants than Americans, who tend to expose babies to more stimuli (Eiron, 2002). In India, children are raised in a stressful environment, and this makes life difficult for HSPs. However, even sensitive people get used to the endless noise there. I interviewed a highly sensitive man from India who had lived in the US for five years. Ramesh noted that the longer he stayed in America, the more accustomed the atmosphere of relative calm became to him and the more difficult trips to India became. But Ramesh, who grew up in a noisy environment, eventually adapted to the overstimulations in his native country, and soon the constant noise no longer bothered him much.

While highly sensitive people raised in stressful environments can cope with stimuli more easily, HSPs who are accustomed to a calm environment have a more difficult time adapting to them. A hypersensitive American woman told me about a trip to India that she made with Western Europeans and Indians. Her story confirmed that Americans need their own corner. She said the Indian and American women slept on the floor in two separate rooms. Moreover, all the Indian women slept together in one corner of the room, touching each other and resembling a litter of puppies, while the American women were placed at a distance of a meter from each other.

Likewise, if a hypersensitive woman from rural Montana came to Manhattan, the attack on her senses would easily cause her to become overextended. Conversely, HSPs who are accustomed to urban stimulation will have difficulty adapting to the quiet of the countryside. When I was living in the rural mountains of California, a friend who worked in downtown San Francisco came to visit me for the weekend. The lack of stimuli worried him, and he decided to go to the nearest town, 30 minutes away. One hypersensitive student living in a noisy city neighborhood told me that during a trip out of town she had trouble sleeping because the silence disturbed her.

Thank God there are sensitive people

By understanding, accepting, and appreciating your subtle mental makeup, and learning practical techniques to help you cope with your sensitivity, you will gradually identify and let go of all your false beliefs about what is wrong with you. HSPs are a significant minority in our society who are generally more accepting of and benefit from stress, competition, and aggression. However, for society to function optimally, there must be a balance between non-hypersensitive soldiers and senior leaders and hypersensitive (usually) psychologists and artists.

In fact, if HSPs were in the majority, we would probably live in a world without war, environmental disasters and terrorism. It is this high sensitivity that helps people set limits on smoking, air pollution and noise. However, it is important to note that there are helpful and kind non-hypersensitive people and rude, indifferent HSPs. My father was not an HSP, but he was one of the most thoughtful and caring people in the world.

Most non-HSPs are kind-hearted, but on a budget mass media As a rule, increased attention is paid to their aggressiveness. Some top executives of large corporations who are not hypersensitive people have harmed the planet through indiscriminate oil drilling, unchecked deforestation and pollution. environment. HSPs have an important mission - they serve as a counterbalance to the aggressive behavior of some non-HSPs who preach less than caring policies towards people, animals and plants. You may have been told that you are overly sensitive. But the spread of insensitive values has brought the world to the brink of disaster. Our only hope for saving the planet is to become more sensitive and compassionate towards all sentient beings.

Although HSP characteristics can bring challenges, we have amazing advantages. We are very conscious and able to appreciate beauty, art and music. Thanks to our delicate taste buds, we can easily perceive the delicacy of a dish, and our sensitive sense of smell helps us truly enjoy the aroma of flowers. We have good intuition and, as a rule, a rich inner life. We are quicker than non-hypersensitive people to notice an approaching threat, such as a tick crawling on the skin. Taking responsibility for our safety, we will be the first to understand how to leave the building in an emergency. We are for the humane treatment of animals. In addition, as a rule, we are kind, sympathetic, understand everything, and therefore we become excellent psychologists, teachers and healers. And the thirst for life allows us to feel love and joy more deeply, unless we are under the yoke of stress or busy affairs.

In non-HSP culture, our sensitivity is viewed negatively. In any society, hypersensitive people are a minority, and preference is given to non-HSPs (Eiron, 1996). Non-hypersensitive people may be surprised that you seek solitude, are unable to cope with an overload of work, or worry about household responsibilities. They believe that “there is something wrong with you.” Judging a finely tuned nervous system is similar to discrimination based on skin color, religion, or nationality. It is very important for the minority to try to educate people about their sensitive nervous system, to accept it and learn to cope with it in a world where non-HSPs rule the roost.

But don’t walk around with posters saying “The Power of Subtle Perception!” (you probably won't be able to handle the noisy and excited atmosphere of the demo). It is much more useful to study ways to increase self-esteem. By reading about highly sensitive people (reading Elaine Aron's book The Highly Sensitive Nature: How to Thrive in a Crazy World is a great way to reframe your childhood in terms of sensitivity), taking classes with a psychologist to better understand your personality, applying the tips presented in the book, you you can do it. Maintain friendships with other highly sensitive people. Try to avoid associating with judgmental non-HSPs who make you feel inferior. It is very important not to compare yourself with non-hypersensitive people and not to try to compete with them.

HSP's response to stress

I advise you to prepare your objections to the accusation of hypersensitivity in advance. You can tell your opponent: “According to research by Elaine Aron, HSPs make up about 20% of the population (about equal numbers of men and women). We have a finely tuned central nervous system, therefore we are more susceptible than others to environmental stimuli - positive and negative. It could be noise, scents, flashes of light, beauty or pain. We process sensations from our senses more deeply than most people. This feature not only brings joy, but also creates difficulties.” When talking about sensitivity, it's important to take advantage of other people's discriminatory attitudes toward it. If you suspect that the other person will ridicule or devalue your sensitivity, it is better not to share information with him. Some hypersensitive students said that relatives or colleagues were dismissive of such explanations, which offended them even more.

Our society is dominated by non-HSP culture, so it is important to learn the art of compromise. Don't expect people to readily change their lifestyle to accommodate you. One hypersensitive woman said that her neighbors played loud music every evening. Together they came to a compromise: within working week the sound is muffled behind the wall, and on Friday and Saturday evenings neighbors can play music as they please.

It is important to politely ask people to change a situation if you are unable to cope with the stress it is causing. Don't blame those who enjoy excessive stimulation. It is also useful to have prepared phrases. If you ask someone to be quieter, try to establish positive relationships with a person. After explaining that you are very sensitive to noise, make sure that your request does not make him uncomfortable. Tell him how grateful you will be if he agrees to be quieter during certain hours. Ask if you, in turn, can do something to make his life easier. Finally, apologize for the inconvenience caused by the request and thank you for your responsiveness.

It is important to accept your sensitivity and not copy the behavior of non-HSPs. I remember the exhausting flight from California to St. Louis for our family reunion and feeling tired. When we arrived at my sister's, my son David and other non-HSP relatives went to a late movie. And I wanted to quickly relax in a quiet, dark room. Thanks to the fact that I did not follow the example of my non-hypersensitive relatives, I was able to quickly recover from the tiring journey.

HSPs feel pain more acutely than others. Many people say that when they experience physical pain, they immediately analyze the problem and try to ease the discomfort. Non-HSPs tend to cope better with pain. My friend told me that he injured his leg, but for more than a month, ignoring the pain, he continued to go to work (he was a carpenter). Stoicism is not typical for HSPs.

You need to find a balance between too much stimulation, which causes anxiety, and too little, which causes boredom. For example, if you don't feel comfortable in a crowd, you might want to go to the movies during non-peak hours (say, in the morning or during the afternoon on a weekend). It's possible to watch movies at home, although some HSPs say it's difficult to choose a movie that doesn't contain violence. You can also go to the restaurant before the influx of people wanting to have dinner.

Use different ways neutralize irritants to avoid stress. Sometimes it is important to force yourself to go on a hike or a museum (but not during rush hour) in order to temporarily interrupt your solitude in a quiet and inaccessible corner. George, an HSP, is in his early forties. One day he went to an amusement park with his son Julian. The father warned the boy that he would not dare to get into a racing car and overcome the dangerous circular track. But since Julian was very persistent, George had to agree. At first, he drove the car carefully and studied the road, occasionally slowing down to assess the potential danger. Once George felt more confident, he picked up the pace and was in high spirits after the race.

Living in rural areas, I decided to take the opportunity and learn how to drive a tractor. At first I was overcome by doubts whether it was worth getting involved with such a dangerous machine. But having mastered it, I felt a sense of satisfaction. Although I don't think there is a union for hypersensitive heavy equipment drivers that I could join.

Attention! This is an introductory fragment of the book.

If you liked the beginning of the book, then full version can be purchased from our partner - distributor of legal content, LLC liters.

Do you know who they are highly sensitive individuals? Or maybe you, without knowing it, are such a person? Read on and you will learn a lot of interesting things!

6. They feel good alone

They like to be alone because it allows them to be alone with themselves and their emotions.

Therefore, they are usually referred to as introverts. This is likely due to hypersensitivity, which makes it more difficult for them to interact with the outside world.

7. They know how to sacrifice themselves

They always want to help other people and make their lives as easy as possible. High sensitivity brings awareness that they can make the world a little better.

8. They sometimes cry, sometimes they laugh.

Highly sensitive individuals live in a world of emotions and are able to switch quickly. That's why they can quickly let go of overwhelming, heavy thoughts and look at the world in a new way.

9. Thoughtful and responsible

That is why they work well in a team and successfully achieve all their goals and objectives. If you are working on a project with such a person, consider yourself lucky. He will give 100% of his work to the common cause.

Do you feel like your reaction to things is stronger than others? Do you worry about how other people feel? Do you prefer quiet rather than chaotic environments?

If the above applies to you, then you may be very sensitive. The personality trait—which was first researched by Elaine A. Aron, Ph.D., in the early 1990s—is relatively common, affecting one in five people. Aron has written many works and books on hypersensitivity, including such as “Highly Sensitive People”, and also developed a test () that will help you determine whether you are a very sensitive person.

Although recent interest in introversion—driven largely by wide-ranging publications on the subject, including Susan Cain's book Silence—has brought more interest in personality traits than the meaning of less stimulation and more sensitivity, Aron noted that highly sensitive people are also are generally considered a "minority".

But "minority" doesn't mean it's bad - in fact, a highly sensitive person combines many positive characteristics. Below are some common features inherent in all sensitive people.

1. Their feelings are deeper

One of the hallmarks of highly sensitive people is the ability to experience deeper feelings than their less sensitive peers. “They like to perceive things on a deep level,” Ted Zeff, Ph.D., author of “The Survival Guide for Highly Sensitive People” and other books about highly sensitive people, tells HuffPost. “They are very intuitive and can go a lot further to figure things out.”

2. They are more emotionally responsive.

Highly sensitive people react more strongly to situations. For example, they will be more sympathetic and caring about a friend's problems, Aron says. They may also care more about other people who have been the victim of negative actions.

3. They are used to hearing: “Don’t take everything so personally” or “Why are you so sensitive?”

Depending on the culture, sensitivity may be perceived as a valuable contribution or negative trait, Zeff explains. In some of his studies, Zeff says that highly sensitive men from different countries he worked with - such as Thailand and India - were rarely or never teased, while men from North America were often or always teased. "So many of them are very cultured - the same person who said 'in certain cultures this is considered a valuable contribution.'

4. They are used to working alone

Highly sensitive people tend to avoid being on a sports team where there is a sense that everyone is constantly monitoring the other's actions, says Zeff. In his studies, the majority of highly sensitive people surveyed preferred individual sports - cycling, running, hiking - rather than group sports. However, this is not a universally accepted rule - some highly sensitive people had parents who instilled in them the understanding that it would be easier for them to become involved in group sports, Zeff reports.

5. They take longer to make decisions.

Highly sensitive people are more knowledgeable and detailed in their decision-making, says Aron. Even if it is not a “right” or “wrong” decision—for example, it is impossible to choose the “wrong” flavor of ice cream—highly sensitive people will tend to take longer to choose because they are weighing every possible outcome.” Aron advises: “Think as long as the situation allows, and ask for more time if you need it,” she writes in a recent issue of the Comfort Zone newsletter. “During this time, try to claim a minute, an hour, a day, or even a week that will help you get on the right path. How does it feel? Often, on the other side of the decision, things look different, and this gives you a chance to more vividly imagine that you are already there.” One exception: One day a very sensitive person will come to the conclusion that in this situation the right decision will be this, and in another situation this will be, and in the future he or she will quickly make these decisions.

6. They are more frustrated when they make “bad” or “wrong” decisions.

Can you imagine how you feel when you make a bad decision? For highly sensitive people, "these emotions are magnified because their emotional activity is higher," explains Aron.

7. They are extremely detail-oriented

Highly sensitive people are the first to notice details in a room, new shoes you put on, or changes in the weather.

8. Not all highly sensitive people are introverts.

About 30 percent of highly sensitive people are extroverts referring to Aron. He explains that many times highly sensitive people who were also extroverts grew up in a close-knit community - be it in a cul-de-sac, a small town, or with a parent who worked as a priest or rabbi - and interacted with big amount of people.

9. They work well as a team

Because highly sensitive people are deep thinkers, they are valuable employees and team members., says Aron. However, they are well suited for those command positions where the final decision does not need to be made. For example, if a highly sensitive person is part of the medical team, he or she is valuable in analyzing the pros and cons of the patient being operated on until someone else ultimately makes a decision about whether the patient needs surgery.

10. They are most prone to anxiety or depression (but only if they have had a lot of negative experiences in the past)

“If you have enough bad experiences, especially early life, you don't feel safe in the world or feel confident at home... or at school, your nervous system is too "anxious," says Aron. But there is no need to say that all very sensitive people will continue to worry - those with a favorable environment can pass long haul to protection from all this. Parents of highly sensitive children, especially, need to "understand that these are truly great kids, but they need to be kept on track," Aron says. “You can overprotect them, but you can’t underprotect them. You have to titrate them when they are young so they feel confident and have a good time.”

11. An irritating sound irritates a very sensitive person even more.

It's hard to say that anyone is a fan of annoying sound, but highly sensitive people are even more sensitive to chaos and noise. That's why they tend to be more depressed due to overactivity, Aron says.

12. Violent movies are the worst.

Because highly sensitive people sympathize even more and get irritated even faster. Violent or horror films are not their thing, says Aron.

13. It’s easier to make them cry.

That's why it's important for highly sensitive people to put themselves in a situation where they don't feel upset or somehow "wrong" to cry easily, says Zeff. If their friends and family realize that it is simple - that they can easily be made to cry - and support this form of expression, then "easy crying" will not be seen as something shameful.

14. They have good manners

Very sensitive people are also very conscientious people, as Aron says. Therefore, they are likely to be attentive and possess good manners– and they always notice unscrupulous people. For example, a highly sensitive person may be more aware of where his cart is in the store—not because he's afraid someone might steal something from it, but because he doesn't want his cart to get in the way of someone else. .

15. For highly sensitive people, the consequences of criticism are greatly amplified.

Highly sensitive people have a reaction to criticism that is more intense the less sensitive the person is. As a result, they may use certain tactics to avoid criticism, including flattering (so that no one will criticize them), criticizing themselves first, and avoiding sources of criticism, Aron says.

People may say something negative [and] a non-HSP (highly sensitive person) may say, “Never mind,” and not respond, Zeff says. But the OCCH will feel it very deeply.

16. Offices = good. Open offices=bad

Since highly sensitive people prefer to work alone, they also prefer a solitary work environment. Zeff says many highly sensitive people enjoy working from home or being self-employed because they can control their incentives. working environment. While those who don't have the luxury of creating their own flexible work schedules (and environments), Zeff notes that highly sensitive people may enjoy working in a cubicle—where they have more privacy and less noise—than in open offices.

Incredible facts

Almost all of us have met highly sensitive people in our lives.

We know that with such people you need to be especially careful with your words, as you never know how they will react.

Recent studies have shown that approximately 15-20 percent of people are hypersensitive. However, many do not know what this means.

Read also:13 unexpected signs that you are very smart

Often hypersensitive people are classified as introverts, but this is not the same thing. These people are sensitive to many things, from pain to caffeine consumption.

Often this type of person has a number of habits and characteristics.

1. Your feelings are much deeper than usual.

Such people experience everything on a deeper level. They have good intuition and try to get to the bottom of things.

2. You're better at spotting lies.

You could be a good detective not only because of your good intuition and attention to detail, but also because you are good at picking up nonverbal gestures that most people may not notice.

3. You like to study alone

Most of these people always feel like someone is looking at them. They feel much more comfortable alone, away from the scrutiny of others.

4. You take a long time to make decisions

Highly sensitive people take longer to make decisions. They overthink things a lot more because they are aware of all the little details and weigh all the possible consequences.

5. You notice details first

You will be the first to notice others have a new T-shirt and the slightest change in the weather.

6. You have a developed right hemisphere

The right hemisphere is associated with emotional expression, music, recognition of faces, colors, images and intuition. Highly sensitive people are more inquisitive, imaginative, and intuitive.

7. You get more upset about bad decisions.

If you make the wrong decision, you often beat yourself up about it for a long time. Your emotions are exaggerated due to great emotional reactivity.

8. Not all highly sensitive people are introverts

About 70 percent of highly sensitive people are introverts. But if a person has grown up or is used to being in a close-knit group of people, it is much easier for him to adapt to strangers.

9. You are a good addition to any team.

Although highly sensitive people prefer to work alone, their thoughtfulness helps them come up with interesting, innovative ideas.

10. You are more prone to depression and anxiety.

If a hypersensitive person encounters a lot of negativity, especially in early childhood or adolescence, he may feel insecure and be prone to anxiety and depression. This is especially important for parents of such children to know and always support them.

11. You are not prone to casual relationships

You need to feel comfortable with a person in order to become intimate with them.

Published with permission from New Harbinger Publications

Scientific editor Tatyana Lapshina

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

Ted shares with readers insightful insights, fascinating stories about how highly sensitive people cope, and great practical tips for how they can support their body and spirit. But the main thing is that it forms an attentive, respectful attitude towards hypersensitive people. We were lucky enough to attract his attention.

Anyone familiar with my work will probably notice that Ted and I look at many things differently, and perhaps this will change your view of them. It is of great importance to understand that, despite the similarity of the nervous system, we solve problems and relate to what is happening differently. The more reasoned opinions, the better - and Ted's point of view is worthy of attention.

Elaine Aaron

Introduction

Why I wrote this book

I specifically remember that I started experiencing anxiety and insomnia when I was in fifth grade due to overcrowding at school. I couldn't ignore stimuli and became anxious when I was in a noisy classroom. By seventh grade, school life became even more difficult. I was constantly stressed and could not concentrate in class. My parents took me to a psychologist to figure out why I “reacted so strongly to everything” both at school and at home. Unfortunately, the doctor, who was not one of the hypersensitive people, did not understand me and reproached me for being excessively irritable.

Twenty years later, while pursuing a PhD in psychology with a specialization in stress management, I discovered that my inability to ignore stimuli was the root cause of my anxiety. Trying to fit into an aggressive world only increased my stress. So I made important changes to my lifestyle: I started suppressing my excitement, sticking to a workout schedule that suited me, changing my diet, and practicing relaxation. I also learned to appreciate and accept my sensitivity. The knowledge gained during my postgraduate studies led me to research in the areas of nutrition, meditation and holistic medicine for hypersensitive people. Based on them, I conducted stress management classes with medical staff in hospitals and colleges. Now I teach survival strategies to highly sensitive people and am ready to share it with readers. The methods I describe are effective for both my hypersensitive students and me.

What will you learn

In the book I will share with you what I have learned as a hypersensitive person and psychologist. I’ll tell you about the study of the concept of “hypersensitivity” in a dynamic, crazy world. I will present practical methods and strategies for HSPs to succeed in life.

The book provides ways to influence your feelings and combat haste. You will learn how to maintain physical health through diet, exercise, and some aids.

Overexertion is closely related to sleep, so we will focus on adjusting sleep phases. You will also learn about innovative relaxation techniques that will improve it. You may not have considered how being an HSP affects your relationships. This is an interesting and very important aspect of the lives of highly sensitive people. Special methods of harmonious communication with relatives, friends and colleagues will be a pleasant addition to the arsenal of a hypersensitive person.

Now that you know why I wrote this book and what it is about, it is time to begin the journey to peace of mind.

Chapter 1. Introduction to the concept of “highly sensitive person”

“I can no longer deal with the stress at work. A colleague at the next table discusses something at the top of his voice all day, and the boss demands that I strictly adhere to deadlines. At the end of the day I feel like a squeezed lemon, I’m nervous and I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.”

“Everyone in my family is passionate about adventure, but I prefer to stay at home. I think there’s something wrong with me because I don’t go anywhere after work or on weekends.”

Do you know this feeling? If yes, then you may be a hypersensitive person.

People hypersensitive to its elements. Sensitive people: what to do if you are one of them? Prepare for the test

Ted Zeff Hypersensitive people. From difficulties to advantages

* * *

Preface

Introduction

Why I wrote this book

What will you learn

Chapter 1. Introduction to the concept of “highly sensitive person”

What is a highly sensitive person?

Questionnaire for a hypersensitive person

Are you a hypersensitive person? Self-diagnosis 4 Translation of the test from the original book by Elaine Aaron “The Highly Sensitive Person”.

Defining Results

Nervous system of hypersensitive people

Social values ​​and sensitivity

Thank God there are sensitive people

HSP's response to stress

6. They feel good alone

7. They know how to sacrifice themselves

8. They sometimes cry, sometimes they laugh.

9. Thoughtful and responsible

1. Their feelings are deeper

2. They are more emotionally responsive.

3. They are used to hearing: “Don’t take everything so personally” or “Why are you so sensitive?”

4. They are used to working alone

5. They take longer to make decisions.

6. They are more frustrated when they make “bad” or “wrong” decisions.

7. They are extremely detail-oriented

8. Not all highly sensitive people are introverts.

9. They work well as a team

10. They are most prone to anxiety or depression (but only if they have had a lot of negative experiences in the past)

11. An irritating sound irritates a very sensitive person even more.

12. Violent movies are the worst.

13. It’s easier to make them cry.

14. They have good manners

15. For highly sensitive people, the consequences of criticism are greatly amplified.

16. Offices = good. Open offices=bad

Ted Zeff
Hypersensitive people. From difficulties to advantages

Are you a hypersensitive person? Self-diagnosis 4
Translation of the test from the original book by Elaine Aaron “The Highly Sensitive Person”.

Social values and sensitivity