Mental anguish of the sick. Mental pain - how to cope and get rid of it? What is mental pain

"joylessness"

"feeling of emotional numbness"

"feeling of absence of feelings"

other sensations, often the most exotic.

Definition of Heartache

What is pain in the soul? Is this a disease or a protective reaction of the body?

From a doctor's perspective, it's both.

The brain, in this way, tries to convey to us, to signal that it is sick and needs help to cope with today's problem. If he is not helped today, then tomorrow this condition may provoke the formation of a more complex mental pathology.

Mental pain as a defensive reaction

Any person can experience mental pain, including those who are mentally healthy, for example, those who have experienced a significant loss of someone or something.
Many conflicts that seem insoluble can cause a feeling of pain in the soul for people with a certain personality type (suspicious, anxious, with increased responsibility, always doubting everything). In these cases, mental pain is regarded as a protective reaction of the psyche to excessive stress.

Mental pain as a symptom of a disease

However, it is not uncommon for mental pain to be a manifestation (symptom) of mental illness (mental disorder). It should be noted that the expression itself, “mental illness,” has a direct origin from the words mental pain. Feelings of mental pain are the most common symptom of the most common mental disorder. recent years– depression.

Causes

All reasons for experiencing pain in the soul, as mentioned above, can be divided into two groups:

first – diseases (mental disorders and behavioral disorders),
the second is psychological (psychogenic), conflicts between “real” and “desired” (true neuroses).

Help with mental pain

It is possible and necessary to help a person experiencing mental pain.

In some cases, help means conversation and support or, conversely, isolation and temporary loneliness.

In others, neurometabolic therapy using special methods of psychotherapy and medications, constant strict supervision by the attending physician.

Unfortunately, there is no universal remedy for mental pain. Each case requires an individual solution.

Treatment

Is it possible to relieve or relieve mental pain on your own? If possible, how?

If pain in the soul is not a symptom of a mental disorder, then you can try to treat mental pain yourself with some activities, such as: take a contrast shower, try physical activity (squats, running, swimming), try to sleep.

If mental pain is a manifestation of any illness, then you need the help of a specialist psychotherapist or psychiatrist. The problem is that, as a rule, with mental disorders, a critical attitude towards one’s condition may decrease, and the patient does not seek help or turn to a specialist. A healthy person who, after stress, suffers from pain in the soul, on the contrary, tends to seek support and help from loved ones, tries to find a way to treat mental pain, and turns to a doctor for advice.

What to do if you or your loved one are gripped by pain in the soul and will not let go? If, in addition, it also intensifies day by day?

There is only one answer. You need to go to a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

Firstly, he knows how to quickly help and relieve this painful feeling.

Secondly, if mental pain is a manifestation of some mental disorder and treatment is required, then a psychotherapist will be able to select therapy (medication and psychotherapy).

The Brain Clinic provides adequate assistance to all those who come with different types And to varying degrees expressiveness of pain in the soul.

Call +7 495 135-44-02

We will help you or your loved ones get rid of mental pain!

We help in the most severe cases, even if previous treatment did not help.

Reading time: 2 min

Heartache- this is emotional suffering, unpleasant and painful in its sensations for a person. Mental pain is also referred to as pain of the mental body and is considered a loss of survival potential. It is often much more dangerous than physical illnesses, since it causes disruption in the functioning of all internal organs and provokes disruptions throughout the body.

How to Deal with Heartache

Emotional distress develops when one worries about a life event or is greatly worried about loved one. Mental pain is often inherent in a person when his personal ideas do not coincide with what is happening in reality. This is because significant experiences leading to , occur due to patterns formed in the human brain, and reality appears not to be what the individual expects it to be. All these disappointments lead to emotional suffering.

A person can experience mental pain both openly and hidden, when a person suffers, but does not admit it to himself.

How to cope with mental pain? A person copes with mental pain in several ways. In one case, mental pain moves from the conscious sensation to the subconscious and the individual mistakenly believes that he is no longer suffering. What actually happens is that a person simply avoids pain and transfers it to the subconscious.

If an individual is inclined to demonstrate his actions and feelings, then this means that he is giving vent to his mental pain. In such cases, a person begins to consult with friends and acquaintances, looking for salvation in eliminating the root of the problem.

For example, if emotional pain is caused by relationships with parents, then a person looks for all possible ways to find a common language with them.

If a person has chosen the method of avoidance, then this method is expressed in not recognizing the problem; often the individual says that everything is fine with him and does not even admit to himself personal experiences. In this case, mental pain persists, passing into an implicit, subconscious form. This condition is very difficult to cope with, it is painful for a person, much more painful than open recognition, as well as speaking the problem out loud.

How to get rid of mental pain

It is very difficult to get rid of hidden pain; it is characterized by a protracted course (for years!). At the same time, a person’s character and relationships with others change. A person with mental pain begins to attract negative people to himself, gradually changing the level of acquaintances, or completely abandons them, forever excluding communication with people.

Often, emotional suffering does not allow an individual to create or work; it torments him, and the person often does not understand what is happening to him. Certain situations can remind a person of those moments that caused pain in his soul many years ago. This is explained by the fact that emotions were driven into the subconscious many years ago, so a person cries and worries without fully understanding what is happening to him, for example, after watching a emotional scene from a film. In cases where you cannot cope with mental pain on your own, you need the help of a specialist or a loved one who is ready to listen to you.

Heartache after a breakup

Psychological reactions to a break in a relationship with a loved one have much in common with the reaction to a physical loss, namely the death of a loved one. Mental pain after breaking up with a loved one can drag on for many months and years. During this period, a person is acutely worried. The experience includes stages of resentment, denial and pain.

Initially, a stage of denial arises, which manifests itself in a person’s subconscious refusal to take an objective view of the breakup and be aware of the end of the relationship.

The mental pain after a breakup is intensified by the understanding that the person you love is no longer there and will never be around again. The moment a person realizes and accepts reality, he will stop suffering. This understanding does not come overnight. The duration of this period depends on the continuation of contacts with the former lover. To get through this stage of mental suffering easier and faster, psychologists advise giving up all contacts, as well as getting rid of all objects reminiscent of past relationships.

The period of denial is replaced by a period of indignation, which is characterized by accusations of the former lover of all sins and the desire of the offended person to take revenge, especially if the cause of the breakup was treason.

Psychologically, this is understandable: blaming another person is much easier than admitting part of your guilt in such a situation. This stage is marked by the emergence of an emotional block: a fixation on negative experiences occurs, which significantly delays the period of psychological recovery. At the next stage of the life crisis, worries about lost time in relationships that were in vain develop. Such experiences are accompanied by the fear of loneliness, as well as the uncertainty of the future, the fear that it will not be possible to build new relationships.

Most psychologists are inclined to believe that tears, suffering and reflection in solitude are an obligatory and also necessary part in overcoming this life crisis. There is nothing wrong with wanting to cry. Allow yourself to suffer and cry - this will bring relief and lead to recovery.

If, nevertheless, a decision was made to break up, then you should not restore the lost relationship, and for this reason, give in to sad memories, call, and also meet. This will only slow down and make it more difficult to overcome emotional suffering.

Women often need more time than men to forget about their ex-partner, since for women, love for a man is the most important part of life. For a man, the priority in life is often work and career. In addition, it is usually easier for men to find a new partner.

Psychologists advise, if left alone, to do something. If, nevertheless, mental pain after separation bothers you for two years, then you need to consult a psychologist or psychotherapist who will help in solving this problem.

Severe mental pain

Edwin Shneidman, an American psychologist, gave the following unique definition of mental pain. It is not like physical or bodily pain. Mental pain manifests itself in experiences that are often caused by the grieving person himself.

Mental pain, filled with suffering, is an expression of the loss of meaning in life. It is marked by torment, melancholy, and confusion. This state is generated by loneliness, grief, guilt, humiliation, shame, in the face of inevitability - aging, death, physical illness.

Eliminating the cause of suffering helps to get rid of severe mental pain. If the cause of emotional suffering is a person’s negative behavior towards you, then in this case it is necessary to eliminate these causes, and not extinguish your emotions towards this person. For example, if you have troubles with your boss that provoked mental pain, then you should work on your relationship with him, and not on your emotions and how you feel about it. You should find a common language or quit.

If emotional suffering is caused by an irreparable situation (illness or death), then you should work on your perception of reality and your emotions.

Mental pain lasts from six months to a year when losing a loved one. Only after this period of time do psychologists advise building new relationships in order not to repeat previous mistakes.

How to relieve mental pain? You need to admit to yourself that an unpleasant situation has already happened. This can alleviate your condition.

Second, go through a period of pain and come to your senses. Next, we build a new future, but without these circumstances or this person. For example, without your favorite job or loved one. Mentally build everything in detail about how you will live in the future. Often the real world becomes for a person the way he sees it in his imagination.

Often, severe mental pain is hidden under other masks and is confused with anger, disappointment, and resentment.

How to survive severe mental pain? Find people who are much worse off than you. Show them concern. This way you will switch your mind from your problem.

Master the correct breathing system: with a long inhalation and a short exhalation. Proper breathing can help your body's cells recover quickly and strengthen your nervous system.

Say something nice to people every day, positive emotions will also be transmitted to you.

Follow a daily routine, get enough sleep, this will help restore nerve cells.

Take your mind off your worries by dancing, jogging, walking, push-ups, and physical exercise. Book a massage.

Avoid the return of severe mental anguish. Scientists are inclined to believe that a person remains in a state of depression for a quarter of an hour, and the rest of the time he creates mental suffering for himself, prolonging and aggravating it. That's why great importance has the ability not to return mental pain again, which is facilitated by situations from the past that provoked the experience.

Doctor of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMedoMed"

Sometimes we love a person so much that it leaves deep wounds in our soul. The pain of being rejected is no less than physical pain. And it doesn’t really matter whether your boyfriend suggested breaking up after a long relationship or a new acquaintance refused to go on a date with you. Healing mental wounds is a very long process, but you need to gather your strength and set off on a long journey to a renewed self.

Steps

Part 1

Give yourself time

Allow yourself to feel sadness. Heart wounds are always painful. You cannot ignore the fact that your experiences are causing you suffering. This means that you must give yourself time to process the emotions that come with heartache. These feelings are how your brain literally tells you how much something has hurt you. There is no need to artificially suppress these emotions in yourself.
- Create a healing space. You need time and space to process your emotions and give vent to your bitter feelings. When you feel emotional pain, try to find a calm place where you can cope with the wave of emotions that overwhelm you. Sometimes it’s enough to go for a walk, retire to your room, or just make yourself a cup of aromatic tea.
- When a person experiences mental pain, he goes through certain stages of this process, during which he experiences feelings such as anger, pain, grief, anxiety, fear and acceptance of what happened. Sometimes you may feel like you are literally drowning in your own emotions, but if you can identify exactly how you move through each stage of experience, it will help you go through the healing process easier and a little faster.
- Try not to drown in your despair. There is a clear difference between simply giving yourself time to process your emotions and being completely overwhelmed by them. If you find that you don't leave the house for weeks, forget to shower, and life seems meaningless, you should seek professional help as soon as possible. psychological help. These are signs that the grief process is too difficult for you to cope with on your own.
Live for today. If you want to deal with all your emotions at once and get rid of your heartache immediately, you are probably setting yourself an impossible task. Instead, move from one stage to another gradually, and always live for today.
- A good way to focus on a specific moment own life- is to try to live for today. When you catch yourself thinking about the past again and again, stop yourself. Look around: what do you see now? what smell do you smell? What color is the sky above your head? what are your fingers touching? and the wind blows in your face?
- Don't start coming up with a grand plan to forget the person who broke your heart. On the contrary, if you focus on how to cope with your grief, it will happen on its own.
Indifference. When a relationship ends or you're rejected, you'll likely feel like there's suddenly a huge hole inside of you. A huge black hole that absorbs all the happiness from your life. At this point, many people make the mistake of immediately trying to fill this hole with something because they are unable to bear this painful feeling. Yes, this feeling is causing you a lot of pain, and you have the right to feel empty inside.
- Create a space for yourself where your ex is not present. Delete his phone number and you won't be able to text him when you've had too much to drink. Add him to the “blacklist” on all social networks, otherwise you will one day find yourself looking at new photos on his account all night long. Don't ask mutual friends how your ex is doing. The more clearly you understand that the breakup is final, the easier it will be for you to heal after it.
- Don't try to immediately fill the void left by broken love. This is one of the most common mistakes people make when trying to heal emotional wounds. When you try to immediately jump into a new relationship to stop feeling the pain and fill the void left by the previous feeling, it doesn't really help you move through the necessary stages of coping with loss. Your unlived negative feelings will sooner or later return to you, but they will become even stronger and more painful.
Tell us about it. You need to make sure you have the right support to help you cope with your heartache. Having strong support from your friends and family, and even your therapist, will help you get back on your feet faster than anything else. Of course, close people will not fill the emptiness that your loved one left in your soul, but they can help you better cope with this emptiness.
- Find a close friend or relative with whom you can talk about your worries, especially on long, lonely evenings. Try to find a person or people who can provide you with emotional support to make up for the support you received from your partner in the relationship that ended. Ask your friends for permission to call them every time you feel an irresistible urge to talk to that person you are trying to get rid of your feelings for.
- A journal can be incredibly helpful in this situation. Not only is it a good way to let your feelings out, especially if you don't want to put the burden of your suffering on your friends, but it's also an effective way to evaluate the progress you've made. After re-reading old posts, you will suddenly realize that you now think about your ex much less often or notice that you want to go on dates again (In reality, and not just “to fill the emptiness inside left by broken love”).
- Sometimes you may need to talk to a psychologist or psychotherapist. There is no shame in seeking professional help!
Get rid of things that trigger memories. If you constantly stumble upon objects that bring back memories of a past love, this will only slow down your healing process. You shouldn't keep the old lounge pants that your ex usually wore after work in the closet; get rid of this trash.
- There's no need to ritually burn anything that reminds you of your past relationship, especially if those things can be given to people who need them. But you should definitely remove these things from your life, one way or another. Additionally, depending on how bad your breakup was, ritually burning things can release a barrage of feelings that were previously locked away in your heart.
- Take a thing and try to remember what exactly you associate with it. Then imagine putting those memories in a balloon. When you get rid of something, imagine that the ball flies far, far away, and will never bother you again.
- If you still have valuables in good condition, you can donate them to charity. In this case, you can imagine how much joy this thing will bring to the new owner.
Help other people. If you start helping others, especially those who are experiencing the same feelings as you, you can take your mind off your own worries. It also means that you are not drowning in your own misery and self-pity.
- Take time to listen to your friends and help them if they are having difficulties. Don't focus only on your own heartache. Tell your friends that they can always count on you to listen to them and help them if they need it.
- Do volunteer work. Find a job at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. Offer your help at rehabilitation centers or shelters for homeless animals.
Give free rein to your imagination. You will imagine your ex coming back to you and talking about how stupid he was for letting you leave. You can imagine in detail how you hug and kiss this person, imagine your intimacy in detail. Such fantasies are absolutely normal.
- The more you try to stop your imagination, the more often such thoughts will come to your mind. When you try not to think about something, especially if you have imposed this strict limitation on yourself, in fact, you only think about it all the time.
- Set aside special times when you allow yourself to fantasize, so you don't spend all your time in an imaginary world. For example, you can give yourself 15 minutes a day during which you can think about how your ex dreams of getting back together with you. If these thoughts come to your mind at another time, put them aside until the time allocated for fantasies arrives. You don't refuse to think about it, you just put these thoughts off until later.
Part 2
Beginning of the healing process
1. Avoid anything that triggers memories. If you have already gotten rid of all the things that trigger memories, as described in the first part of the article, this will help you avoid such moments. However, there are other things that you should keep in mind. Of course, you won't be able to avoid them completely, but at least try not to look for them on purpose. This will help you recover faster.
  - The occasion could be anything from a song that played on your first date to a small cafe where you spent so much time together studying for exams. It could even be a smell.
  - You may encounter this even when you don't expect it at all. If this happens, determine what exactly triggered your memories, and what kind of memories this factor caused. Then try to switch to something else. There is no need to dwell on these feelings and memories. For example, when you come across a photo of you together on Facebook, admit to yourself that you feel sad and regretful because of it, and then try to think about something positive or at least neutral. You might think about the new dress you'll wear tomorrow, or how it would be nice to get a kitten
  - This doesn't mean you should go out of your way to avoid these evocative moments. You won't be able to do this. All you need to do is just try to avoid encountering things that traumatize you and make you regret the past. You need your mental wounds to heal.
2. Good music will help you heal faster. It has been proven that music can have a therapeutic effect and help speed up the healing process. Listen to upbeat, energetic songs. Scientific research have shown that when you listen to such music, endorphins are released in your body, which help you perk up and overcome stress.
  - Try not to include sentimental, romantic love songs. This type of music will not help the release of endophins in your brain. On the contrary, such songs will only increase your sadness and stir up emotional wounds.
  - When you find yourself feeling sad again, it's time to turn on some upbeat music to perk up your spirit. If you turn on dance music, you can simultaneously get endorphins from listening to upbeat music and from energetic dance moves.
3. Take your mind off your heartache. Once you've gotten past the initial stage of giving yourself space to grieve and deal with your emotions, it's time to take your mind off the unpleasant thoughts. When you start thinking about your ex, do something, try to switch your thoughts to something else, come up with some new activity, etc.
  - Call those friends who said you can always count on them if you need help. Read a book you've been wanting to read for a long time. Turn on a funny comedy (and get the added bonus that laughter helps you heal).
  - The more you do to stop thinking about your ex and your mental anguish, the faster you will feel better. Of course it's difficult. It is very difficult to control your thoughts all the time and monitor how much time you spend thinking about your mental pain.
  - Try not to get carried away with "painkillers." It could be something that allows you to stop feeling pain for a while. Sometimes you really need something to give yourself a break from the heartache. However, be careful that these types of distractions do not harm you, especially in the beginning when you need to learn how to cope with negative experiences. Such a “painkiller” can be alcohol or drugs, but it can also be continuous viewing of TV shows or constant presence on the Internet. Or even foods you eat just to make you feel calmer.
4. Change your lifestyle. One of the problems that faces you is that the usual way of life that was formed when you were together has suddenly been destroyed. If you start doing something new and change your routine, it will open the door to new habits. There will no longer be room in your new life for the person who broke your heart.
  - You don't have to radically change your life to break old habits. Do simple things, for example, go shopping on Saturday morning instead of lying in bed; Try listening to a new style of music or discover a new hobby, such as karate or flower gardening.
  - Try not to make radical changes in your life before you have carefully weighed the pros and cons. Especially try to avoid drastic changes in the beginning, immediately after a breakup. If enough time has passed and you want to show that you are really changing, then it's time to get something like a new tattoo or shave your hair bald.
  - If you have the opportunity to take a short vacation, go on a trip. Even taking a weekend trip to a new city can help you gain a new perspective on what happened.
5. Don't hinder your own healing. Of course, relapses happen from time to time when you are trying to recover from a failed relationship. This is normal, this is also part of the healing process. But there are some things that you can anticipate and thereby prevent them from setting you back in your movement towards a new life.
  - Pay attention to the words you usually use. When you say: "Monstrous!" or “Terrible” or “Nightmare!”, you continue to see the world in black. This creates negative thinking. If you can't think positively, try to at least stick to neutral expressions. For example, instead of saying, “It's over forever!”, say, “This breakup was very painful for me, but I will do my best to get over it.”
  - Try not to embarrass yourself. You don't need to drive past your ex's house every evening and see if he has found a mate. Try not to call or text your ex while you've been drinking. Things like this only stop you from moving forward.
  - Remember that everything changes in this world. Your feelings today will be completely different in a week, month or year. We promise that a time will come when you will be able to calmly remember this period of your life without experiencing pain.
Part 3
Accept what happened
1. Stop blaming. An important part of your healing and acceptance of what happened is to understand that it is not helpful to blame yourself or another person. What happened is what happened, so you can't do or say anything to change what happened, so what's the use of blaming.
  - Try to find good feelings towards the other person. No matter what he did or didn't do, try to find compassion in your heart for him and what is happening to him. This doesn't mean you have to forgive him immediately, it just means you stop being angry with the person.
  - On the other hand, don't blame yourself for everything. You can acknowledge and reflect on what you did wrong in previous relationships, and promise yourself that you won't repeat past mistakes in the future. But don’t waste time agonizing over your own mistakes over and over again.
2. Feel when you are ready to move forward. It takes different amounts of time for people to heal from heartache. It is impossible to name a specific period of time that you will need, but there are signs by which you can determine that you are moving in the right direction.
  - You no longer worry if you find several missed calls on your phone from an unfamiliar number.
  - You have stopped picturing the scene of your ex returning to you and on his knees begging you for forgiveness.
  - You have stopped finding associations with your life in films and songs about unhappy love. You notice that you now like to read and listen to things that have nothing to do with this topic.
3. Try to understand who you really are. There is one thing that usually goes unnoticed while you are in a relationship with someone and during the first stages of grief after the relationship ends. This is the ability to be yourself. For a long time, you felt like you were part of a couple, and then someone who was grieving a lost relationship.
  - Work on your personal development, both external and internal. Play sports or change your appearance. These things are great for boosting your self-esteem, which may have suffered during a breakup. Determine which aspects of your personality you need to work on. For example, if you tend to be passive aggressive when you're feeling down, try to work on finding healthier ways to express your anger.
  - Develop character traits that reflect your uniqueness. When you're spending all your time with another person or trying to cope with the aftermath of a breakup, you tend to pay less attention to your personal interests. Try to restore relationships with people with whom you did not have enough time to communicate during the relationship and after the breakup, and again do what you are truly interested in.
  - Try something new. This can help you meet new people who have never met the person who broke your heart. Learning new things can help your brain take its mind off the heartache and start living in the present.
4. Try not to return to the past. You don't want to interfere with the healing process from your emotional wounds, so don't do anything that will trigger your mental suffering again. Sometimes this cannot be avoided completely, but you can try to minimize the risk.
  - Don't let this person come into your life too quickly, or at all. You will only irritate your own mental wounds and feel your misfortune with the same acuteness. Sometimes it's impossible to remain friends with your ex.
  - If you do do this, don't despair. The work you have done to heal from emotional wounds has not been in vain. You will still win. Do not give up. When it comes to relationships, everyone has experienced relapses of heartache in one way or another.
5. Do what brings you joy. When you engage in activities that bring you joy and happiness, you cause dopamine levels to rise in the brain. This is a chemical that helps a person feel happy and fight stress (its level after a breakup can rise to critical levels).
  - Do things that don't bring up memories of your ex. Start doing something new or pick up hobbies you gave up while you were in a relationship.
  - Learn to be happy. People are more willing to associate with those who are happy because happy people help others feel happy too. Of course, you can't force yourself to feel happy all the time, but try to do things that bring you joy and live a life that makes you feel happy.
  - Reward yourself for every small victory. If you haven't thought about your ex all day, reward yourself with a delicious cocktail or a piece of cake.
- Continue to love yourself, even if it seems overwhelming. In the long run, it will make you stronger.
- By helping other people, you are helping yourself. Give people good advice and don't show negative feelings.
- A good joke will make you laugh even in these difficult times. Even if it seems inappropriate to have fun at such a moment, laugh - and life will become a little happier!
Warnings
- Don't rely solely on our advice. If you feel like you are getting worse, consider maybe you need professional psychological help.
- There is no need to harm yourself, even if you feel like you have lost the love of your life.

We all know well and often recall the comforting joke that if you have a headache, it means you have one. The same could be said about the soul. Moreover, unfortunately, in relation to the soul, the opposite statement is also true: the soul, if it exists, at least from time to time necessarily hurts. For loved ones or from your own sorrows, long and quietly or strongly and piercingly. Is it possible to identify mental pain with the recently fashionable diagnosis of “depression”? Yes and no. On the one hand, the restoration of subtle spiritual harmony is actually done by psychologists, whose field of activity even bears the second name of soul science. On the other hand, long before the advent of this direction of science and medicine, people with mental pain turned to clergy and simply wise people. And all because the soul is such a special part of each of us, not so much the body, but the personality. And even when it clearly hurts, you cannot touch, stroke or “operate” on it.

Therefore, one has to stroke and heal the soul in other, more subtle and more complex ways. And very personal. After all, just as there are no two identical souls, there cannot be equally effective “medicines” for them. And even every new pain requires a new careful and individual approach. “In this case, is there any point at all in the existence of the corresponding science, since in principle there cannot be standard methods?!” - you may be surprised. We answer: maybe. Because for all our originality, we are all human beings, we walk on the same earth, breathe the same air and worry about similar things. That’s why psychologists are both necessary and important. But it is possible that in a given situation, a sincere confession or a sincere conversation with a close friend will bring much more benefit than a whole course of psychotherapeutic sessions. Today we will try to figure out how to find our own personal way and how to get rid of mental pain without additional moral wounds. And, if you don’t give definitive answers, then at least find that thread that you can pull to unravel the heavy tangle that’s clenched in your soul.

What hurts during heartache?
Soul – does it even exist? Or is it just an imaginary, completely ephemeral substance, invented long before the advent of modern scientific capabilities, in order to explain processes incomprehensible to our distant ancestors? But how then can something that does not exist experience such obvious painful sensations and cause severe suffering! To answer this question, you will have to look at pain (any kind - external and internal, physical and mental) not as an unconditional evil, but as a certain mechanism created by nature for a reasonable purpose. This purpose is to give us a signal that something has gone wrong - in the body, in thoughts or life. This failure may at first be quite small and unnoticeable, but if it remains ignored, it gradually turns into vague anxiety, worry, and then into fear. Fear gives rise to heavy thoughts, and they, in turn, agitate the soul, squeezing it and making it hurt.

At different times, people looked for (and found!) different means of getting rid of mental pain. First in the church, which saw the cause of heartache in sin and prayed for its remission. Later, at a meeting with psychologists who materialistically deny the existence of the soul and use other tools. But the essence was and remains unchanged: an inexplicable feeling that eats a person from the inside and prevents him from enjoying life has visited everyone at least once. And, regardless of worldview, level of education, religious preferences, national and gender characteristics and sphere of activity, everyone, one way or another, looked for their own way of deliverance. Because otherwise, mental pain can completely paralyze consciousness and deprive life of the meaning. But if you treat it as a symptom that indicates some other problem, then you can and should pull yourself together in time and seek help. But to whom? With a bad tooth we go to the dentist, with a broken leg we go to the traumatologist. To whom should I take my aching soul? Unfortunately, there is no definite answer, as well as a professional doctor of the soul. But you can listen to yourself and become such a doctor for yourself. And a psychologist, confessor and/or loved one in this case will help and support you along this path.

Effective treatment for mental pain
Contrary to the stereotype, waiting is not always the best way to heal the soul. Time really does heal, but sometimes this treatment takes too long and does not completely exclude the possibility of relapses. Mental pain is caused by a variety of reasons, and therefore the means of relief are also varied and multifaceted. But there is a certain “golden code” that can be used as a basis for anyone seeking to get rid of mental pain as quickly as possible. To do this, you will have to fulfill several conditions. In our version there are 12 of them - because this number is considered magical or, at least, positive. Who knows, maybe the magic of numbers will partially help alleviate mental pain. And if not, then no one has canceled the harmony of numbers, aesthetics and simply the order of things. Follow it:

Drive away the negativity. Don’t hold it in and don’t accumulate it for hours, days, weeks... Find a way to get rid of what’s gnawing at you from the inside, to throw it out. Talk it out, cry, even scream. You can do this alone, but it is better together with a very close and understanding person. Don't be afraid to strain or offend him. A truly close person will correctly understand your condition and try to alleviate it, take away some of your pain or help you release it. And even the very presence of a soul mate will certainly make your soul feel that it is not alone and can count on reliable support. If such arguments do not convince you, then listen to the statistics regularly published by psychology publications. According to her, keeping silent about the situation, endless self-examination and delving into one’s own difficult thoughts only aggravates the condition that we called mental pain. Simply put, this is a huge load on the nervous system, which can subsequently result in not only psychological, but also physical ailments. Therefore, do not worsen your life even more, do not intensify your pain, but scatter it to the wind in all four directions.
Look for the positive. A holy place is never empty, and the freed internal space needs to be filled with something. But not just anything, but good, kind, bright and constructive. Positive emotions have truly powerful healing powers, and they agree with this. professional psychologists, and soul experts “from the people”, and representatives of religious cults. And everyone at the same time, especially looking from such different angles, cannot be wrong. In a mentally ill state, this can be difficult to believe, and even more difficult to do. But think about the fact that everything in the world is balanced. For every bad thing there is always an equivalent good. Moreover, even stronger, because life goes on, which means that the good always turns out to be stronger and wins. And it is in our power to help him. With your energy, with your internal resources. And to do this, it is enough to concentrate them on the positive aspects - and water wears away the stone. Don’t ignore even the most insignificant but positive facts of what is happening around you: the sun is shining in the morning and it’s not raining, the child brought an excellent grade in his diary, not a bad one, the taxi driver didn’t bother you with conversations on the road, but could have turned out to be a terrible talker. From these tiny but inevitable moments, the whole life is ultimately formed, day after day. These days pass, but the general emotional background remains. Now, more than anyone else, it is important for you that it has a “plus” sign. But no one except you can configure it this way.
Forgive people that hurt you or became an indirect cause of your pain. When you forgive, it becomes easier because you no longer hold the burden of resentment within yourself and do not waste your mental strength on it. But you just need to be able to truly forgive, without deceiving yourself. Find a convincing justification for the offending person’s action or simply recognize his right to make this mistake. His action is his sin and his karma, and you gain participation only as long as you want it. Stop being part of other people's shortcomings, forget them and leave them to their owners. Think about yourself, about your cultivation, and about not doing such things. In the end, just be nobler and wiser, imagine that your forgiveness is a gift that you give to the offender despite his bad behavior. This is not the best tactic of internal motivation and it smacks too much of pride, but if at first it helps you cope with the offense and forgive the offender, then it is better to do so than not at all. Look for your path, comprehend what happened, and perhaps resentment will even be replaced by gratitude if you understand that another person’s action has shifted something important in your life and started a chain reaction of changes. Which, as we know, always turn out for the better in the end.
Ask for forgiveness, especially if the cats are scratching your soul and it’s your fault too. Conscience is an insidious quality. It seems that you can come to an agreement with her, but then it turns out that she has lurked in your soul like a cold snake, wrapped her rings around it and whispers to you about what you don’t want to think about at all. And this may well cause mental pain, and quite strong - depending on the strength of your feelings of guilt. Therefore, do not be afraid to “lose your crown” - ask for forgiveness from the one who offended you. Just look and you will feel better. Better yet, try to correct what happened, to make amends. How - there is no universal recipe. In some cases, repentance and asking for forgiveness alone will be sufficient. In others, you will have to influence the current situation and restore what is still subject to restoration. You may even have to look for ways to please your victim with something unrelated to the problem and thereby rehabilitate yourself as a good person. But if you really suffer precisely from the fact that you deceived or offended someone, then such behavior should definitely save you from mental pain, so go for it.
Forgive yourself- it is very important. Sometimes, even after an apology has been received from others, one’s own repentance has been made and the previous relationships between people have been restored, inner peace still does not come, and the mental pain does not subside. As the old joke said in this case: “the spoons were found, but the sediment remained.” And the worst thing is if this residue remains on your own heart, because in this case, a reminder of the bad incident always remains with you, wherever you go, whatever you do. And only you can rid yourself of it. And in general, you are the most important and almost only person, which can cure you of heartache. All the rest are just assistants in this operating room, ready at the right moment to provide a bandage of understanding or a clamp of patience. But the chief surgeon is you. And in your hands is the scalpel with which you must mercilessly cut off your pain so that its metastases do not spread deep into the soul. Or not mercilessly. Have pity on yourself. Have pity and forgive. Nobody is perfect, and you are no exception. You have your right to make a mistake and the strength to admit it. This full cycle offense, get over it and move on without getting hung up.
Sublimate. That is, spend your mental strength not on experiencing your pain, but on more pleasant and useful activities. The most accessible and successful option is creativity, absolutely any kind. From cross stitch to ballroom dancing. The main thing is that during creative activities you forget about your mental pain, and after them you feel filled with something new and bright instead of it. Another option for sublimation is sports; it forces the body to work, not the brain, and thereby also distracts from heavy thoughts. In addition, in the process of physical exercise, hormonal levels are normalized, which has a positive effect on emotional condition. Another option is to get a pet and take care of it, loving it with all your heart, making guardianship over it an important part of your daily routine. Or just fall in love. A powerful release of endorphins into the blood is the best pain reliever for the soul. Although with severe mental pain, a new relationship may not work out. In this case, love those people who already make up your family and close circle of friends. Find joy in serving their interests and enjoy the time spent in their company. Travel, in company or alone, depending on your temperament and capabilities. You will see new places, unfamiliar people, whose lives may be worse than yours and will make you forget about your pain as something not as significant as it seemed. All this will distract you, take time and help you fill and survive the most difficult period. Or sign up for a volunteer group and help disadvantaged people and animals. Force yourself to be useful - perhaps this will be a reason to atone for your sins and finally get rid of your mental pain?
Laugh. Or at least smile. And once again stretch your lips into a smile. A smile and laughter are generally the best defense against ill-wishers. And now it turns out that you yourself become an ill-wisher towards yourself. Don’t be led by this state of affairs, don’t let mental pain ruin your mood, condition, life. Even if a smile doesn’t make everyone brighter, the times of naive childhood are long gone, but think: perhaps your second soft smile will warm someone up and help get rid of heartache, if not for you, then for them. Everything good done unselfishly will definitely come back. The ancient sages said: “Do good and throw it into the water.” You don’t know where the current will take it, but sooner or later it itself or its reflection in the water surface will return to you. The earth is round. Well, if without esotericism, then positive emotions, expressed by a smile and laughter, tone up all systems of the body, help it fight stress and normalize the condition nervous system and speed of reactions. Therefore, laughter therapy is a very real method of combating depressive conditions. If you don’t have the strength or desire to smile for no reason, buy a collection of jokes or watch KVN. And the Internet is generally an inexhaustible source of hilarious jokes and fresh gags, which will not only make you smile, but will also distract you from difficult thoughts for a long time, if you choose the right resources.
Remember your body. By forcing yourself to smile, you not only affect your body emotionally, but also physiologically. Psychosomatics is not a myth, but a very real relationship between the state of the nervous system and all other organ systems of your body. When you are in an emotionally depressed state for a long time, it eventually begins to manifest itself not only in your mood and facial expression, but also in other, more serious symptoms. And widespread chronic fatigue syndrome is just one, and not the most severe, of them. Internal conflict can result in asthma, gastritis, migraines and even oncology. You can compare these processes to the fact that a person “eats himself” with feelings of guilt, resentment and torment. Thus, the pain of the ephemeral soul is embodied in the very real pain of tangible organs. Such self-punishment can be unconscious and gradually complicate life, or conscious, when a person deliberately deprives himself of benefits in an effort to bear punishment for his misdeeds. In particular, anorexia is one of the manifestations of dislike for oneself, for one’s soul and body. All that can be said about this is do not punish the body for the mistakes of the soul. Separate them, but keep them in harmony, and take care of both the first and the second equally.
Trace the connection between your mental pain and the life events that preceded it. The fact is that psychosomatic manifestations sometimes “work” in the opposite direction; there is no single possible direction here. And it is possible that your mental pain has not only moral, but also physical reasons. Chronic diseases and developing processes deep within the body can become a prerequisite for a depressed, depressed state. You don’t even know about them yet, but they are already affecting his condition. Therefore, no matter how strange this advice may seem, to treat mental pain you need to cure bodily ailments. If cardiac turmoil does not go away for a long time and does not develop, going through its stages, then it makes sense to consult a doctor for a diagnosis, get tested and undergo basic blood, urine tests, etc. Don’t forget to support your mental strength with your physical strength: watch your diet, eat healthy food and stick to your eating routine. Drink natural juices, green tea and plenty of clean water. Don’t pollute yourself with junk food - and then harmful thoughts will also visit you much less often. Because body hygiene is inextricably linked with the hygiene of the soul, this fact must be accepted and taken into account.
Rejoice- more precisely, please yourself. Imagine that you are a small child who feels bad and lonely, and really needs love, care and attention. Love yourself and give pleasant, good things. Not necessarily material ones, but they too. Allow yourself small but regular pleasures, and if suddenly doubt creeps in that you are pampering yourself too much, treat them as a medicine necessary to heal your soul. Such a cure can be a walk at lunchtime on a sunny day, or a delicious cake, despite your diet, allowed yourself with a morning cup of cappuccino. The main thing is that these compliments to yourself do not cause later regrets and remorse, because their task is to please and create a positive background in life to get rid of mental pain, and not to aggravate it. Update your wardrobe, buy a long-desired accessory or shoes, get a haircut, manicure, change your image. Take care of yourself as if you were a loved one who desperately needs support and positive emotions.
Get rid of anchors, especially if the heartache is caused by the loss of someone or something important to you. This can be quite difficult, but you still need to find the strength within yourself and say goodbye to the past that cannot be returned. Don’t look for those to blame, don’t try to change what happened - just accept it as a given and move on, but without it. Throw away, donate, or properly hide anything that may become a reminder of the past. Stop deliberately recalling past memories and recalling past situations. If your heartache is caused by memories of a person who left your life of his own free will, then do not try to seek a connection with him, real or imaginary. Neither calls nor meetings can bring back the past, but they hurt and intensify your pain. Even if it seems that even fleeting contact will ease the experience, this is an illusion. In fact, you will simply tear off a fragile crust from a wound that has just begun to heal. Let pride become your support and advisor: you don’t need to reach out to a person who doesn’t need you. Those people who should be in your life will never leave you or offend you, and everyone else should leave so as not to take someone else’s place in your personal world. Now it has become vacant and will soon be occupied by someone truly worthy.
Accept the pain– this is the last, most important and perhaps the hardest advice. But this is the path to healing the soul: through the pain itself. Because it is an integral part of growth. Professional athletes say: “no pain - no gain,” that is, without pain there is no development. You need to constantly remind yourself that no pain goes away without a trace and always has a purpose, even if this purpose is not obvious to you now. But time will pass and perhaps it will turn out that it was this life test that opened the understanding and doors for you to something bigger and better. Catharsis is also a kind of pain, but it is also a revelation and cleansing. And there are two types of pain: pain for the sake of pain and pain for the sake of creation. The second type manifests itself when you do not resist fate and mental pain, but allow it to develop you and move you forward. This is your fight with yourself, the fight for a life better than now. Perhaps a scar will remain on your soul as a reminder of her. So let it be a reminder of your ability to survive and a symbol of your strength.

We can only hope that one or more of these tips will help you, if not completely get rid of it, then at least muffle mental pain and speed up the process of its treatment. There are difficulties in every person's life, and how we deal with them depends only on us. But at the same time, there is friendship, love and many other good and right things in the world that leave no chance for pain to defeat a person. You, in turn, do not ignore the pain, do not hide it and do not be angry with yourself and with life. This process may be long, but it will ultimately lead you to happiness and freedom from pain. After all, what does not kill us makes us stronger. Strength to you, inner harmony and peace in the soul!

As an emotion, mental pain occurs in response to a sharp global change in a person’s habitual way of life, which a person interprets as an important negative event. In most cases, such an emotion is a consequence of a significant loss for the individual, for example: the death of a close relative, separation from a beloved partner, a breakup due to betrayal with a best friend, the death of a pet, loss of social status.

A rapidly arising emotion, with a kind of negative assessment by the individual, is transformed into a long-term negative experience, transforming mental pain into a deep, intensely expressed feeling. According to psychologists, any sudden loss by a person of significant components of life, be it the loss of a loved one or a valuable item, removes an essential link from the number of factors necessary for the individual’s survival.

Until recently, most doctors adhered to the hypothesis that mental pain was purely subjective. Modern psychologists adhere to the theory that mental pain is a phenomenon completely different from bodily sensations, a kind of unconscious suffering for one’s own “I”. However, extensive research conducted by American neuropsychologists refuted this statement. Images obtained using a magnetic resonance imaging scanner confirmed the identity in the process of development of mental pain and physiological pain. In both cases, when a person experiences both mental suffering and physical pain, activation of neurons in the limbic system of the brain is observed.

It has also been established that mental anguish can manifest itself at a physiological level, in particular, it can be felt as psychogenic pain. This type of pain syndrome is not associated with somatic pathologies and does not have a clear localization. Often mental, as well as psychogenic pain, is an indispensable companion to depression, hysteria, hypochondria, phobic anxiety and other psycho-emotional disorders.

Causes

As a rule, humanity is accustomed to shifting all responsibility for the occurrence of moral suffering exclusively to external factors and circumstances. However, this unpleasant experience of a psychosomatic nature can arise due to prolonged physical and mental stress, for example: a constant feeling of irrational fear, long-held emotions of anger. Without taking into account the original physiological nature of such reactions: a deficiency of certain chemical substances- neurotransmitters, excessive production of anxiety hormones, a person interprets his sensations as an exclusively internal feeling, not paying attention to the accompanying muscle spasms, tension headaches and other somatic symptoms.

Quite often, a person cultivates mental pain on his own, creating a direct association with painful sensations experienced in the past from some event. Such a conscious fixation on negative situations in personal history connects any, even insignificant, phenomenon with previously experienced suffering, leading to a chronic mental “shake-up”.

Often, the mental pain demonstrated to others masks a person’s obscene thoughts. Thus, behind the suffering of the soul, there may be hidden an individual’s internal cynical need to gain certain benefits, for example: to attract attention to oneself by any means, to receive a guarantee not to experience a fiasco in actions. Mental anguish displayed on display can be a skillful weapon of revenge or become a means to achieve power over others.

An important reason for the widespread prevalence of mental suffering is the historical fact that Christian morality encourages and cultivates mental pain. In the understanding of believers, torment of the heart is a virtue, an indicator of a person’s righteousness and true faith. Modern culture to match Christianity, it preaches the principle: the experience of suffering is dignity, special heroism, a kind of indicator of an educated humane personality, a necessary destiny of a person on the path to transformation.

How to cope with mental pain: advice from psychologists

Step 1. Give yourself time to suffer

How to cope with mental pain - an uninvited guest who unceremoniously destroys happiness and faith? To cope with mental pain, you should give yourself time to go through a difficult period, without rushing or pushing yourself. Remember: for most people, mental pain subsides on its own, provided that the “bleeding wound” is not opened. This is similar to how relaxation occurs over time after muscle spasms, how psychogenic headache after a quality rest. The speed of natural healing of the body depends on a number of factors: the age of the person, his psychological characteristics, the state of the central nervous system, the significance of the events experienced by the individual.

Step 2. Get rid of the habit of dramatization

Unfortunately, most of our contemporaries, prone to heart torment, do not have sufficient psychological knowledge of how to relieve mental pain, or do not use the skills in practice. Many of us have ritual patterns of behavior, the essence of which is “to rub salt in the wound.” This manifests itself in the habit of raising and discussing a sore subject, remembering bygone “happy” days, not letting go, but pursuing a person, even when the futility of the relationship is clearly clear. Of course, a minor feeling that arises after a tragic event is a natural and understandable state, but the habit of deliberately dramatizing and increasing the scale of the disaster must be eradicated. If mental pain in the heart is provoked by an event that cannot be changed, for example: with an incurable illness of a loved one, you should work on emotions and change the interpretation of the situation.

Mental suffering can, consciously or not, be enhanced by those close to you, by touching on weak points, touching on unpleasant topics, and giving “practical” advice. In such situations, in order to relieve mental pain, it is necessary to reconsider personal contacts, temporarily stopping communication with such people who provide a disservice.

Step 3. We measure our torment with the difficulties of the universe

Most people rush into a battle with mental pain without understanding whether the problem actually exists. Psychologists say that 99% of all “unsolvable” difficulties are created independently by man, or more precisely, by the brain. People make mountains out of molehills; temporary troubles are elevated to the level of an apocalypse. And the mental pain that arises is not evidence of an insurmountable threat, but the fact that the person is confused in the interpretation of events, he lacks knowledge and skills.

In such a situation, mental pain is a valuable gift of nature, directing a person to study his personality, think about the meaning of life, and think about his reality. Psychologists advise recognizing the fact that a personal problem is the smallest grain in the complex structure of the universe. Understanding this allows an individual to dive much deeper than his difficulties, gives a person a chance to gain wisdom, change for the better, perform only useful actions and not waste energy in vain.

Step 4. Study ourselves and our suffering

An important step in overcoming heartache is to give honest answers to the questions: “What truth does heartache reveal? What lesson do I need to learn from this event?” To cope with mental pain, you need to dive into it and study it. And faith in your own strength, purpose and motivation will help you get out of a difficult situation. Every person has a cherished dream, the implementation of which is constantly postponed until later. A person, guided by primitive instincts, does not leave himself a chance to realize his dreams because of his own laziness, invented excuses for inaction, invented fears and lack of faith.

To get rid of mental pain, you need to devote time to studying your condition and try to determine the real cause of your feelings. To do this, on a piece of paper you should outline your activities in detail over the past week and try to describe your current feelings. For more than half of people, mental pain is triggered by regret about misused time spent on absolutely useless things.

For example: a housewife, instead of devoting time to personal development and education, full-fledged social contacts, and body care, sees her purpose solely in performing routine household chores. Often, mental pain in a woman with a similar lifestyle arises from accumulated fatigue from monotonous housework, which does not receive proper appreciation from her husband, and reaches a critical point when her husband leaves the family.

What to do in such a situation, and how to cope with mental pain? Accept a fait accompli, reconsider your life priorities, change your field of activity, work to reveal new facets of your personality, try to find your zest.

Step 5. Reviewing your lifestyle

Important actions that must be performed daily in order to escape from the bottomless abyss and cope with mental pain:

eat,
sleep,
move.

You should create a varied, healthy, complete and tasty menu, enjoying the very ritual of eating. Sleep is an important component for restoring health, a magical cure for pain. Movement is precisely the reason why any organism lives.

To get rid of mental pain you need to have a healthy body, because stability emotional sphere directly depends on physical condition. In order to quickly cope with a painful state of mind, you need to “turn on” the body’s resources by going in for sports. Physical activity is not only a way to be in great shape and maintain physical health, but also a chance to achieve harmony in the inner world, gain moral pleasure, and achieve true life path and find peace of mind.

Step 6. Take care of loved ones

When your heart is completely sad, remember your loved ones and start taking care of them. Sometimes it is very difficult to take a step towards others, because when the soul suffers, all thoughts are focused only on one’s own condition. By getting rid of the barriers of selfishness, showing attention and love to another person, you will receive gratitude, a surge of energy and an incentive to rise and live as a reward. Therefore, by doing good to others, a person takes care of his own well-being and can cope with the suffering of the heart.

Step 7. Get rid of destructive emotions

To survive mental pain, you need to get rid of negative emotions. Remember: the one who justifies and cultivates resentment, envy, jealousy is doomed to feel mental anguish, because the accumulated intensity of negative passions will first of all destroy the person himself.

Step 8. Say “no” to bad habits

Attention! Many people experiencing suffering try to get rid of mental pain with the help of alcohol, drugs, and risky activities. Due to severe painful internal sensations and a lack of understanding of the nature of mental pain, a person, instead of making efforts aimed at changing his personality, prefers to run away from reality, losing himself in the fog of destructive addictions. However, such a measure not only will not help cope with mental pain, but also creates even more dangerous problems, depriving willpower and taking away the last hope for happiness.

Step 9. Temper your soul

Remember that it is easier to prevent mental pain than to cope with it. You should develop your emotional stability, train mental fortitude, strengthen psychological invulnerability. You need to begin hardening your soul by successfully overcoming the little things in life. The basic rule: identify the incorrect interpretation of the event and change your perception of the situation to at least a neutral view.

For example: you were fired from a prestigious position as a result of layoffs. Natural emotions will be anger, resentment, rage, disappointment, fear for the future. However, such a forced “leaving” brings a lot of positive aspects: bringing novelty to everyday life, the opportunity to try oneself in a new field, getting another education, motivating one to succeed in own business, discover your talents in another field. In this case, a positive interpretation of events will not give the slightest chance of being captured by your mental anguish.

Step 10. Working the facial muscles

The strangest and funniest, but effective way to cope with the torment of the soul: vigorously chew chewing gum. The fact is that suffering involves static “freezing” and muscle tension, including the facial muscles. Rhythmic and energetic movements of the jaws relieve muscle immobility, eliminating spasms.

If you cannot cure mental pain on your own, you should seek professional help from psychologists.