And then you understand. Once in a lifetime there comes a time when you realize that yours will be yours! You look with envy at happy couples

Street fights - such a thing, from which it is better not to renounce. Inborn intelligence and common sense do not guarantee protection from broken eyebrows and dirty brawls with hard stammering. But this is also an experience, and if it remains intact, it is extremely useful.

Our martial artist (himself a boxer and muay thai) talks about his experience of participating in spontaneous street brawls. Sometimes he beat him, sometimes - him, however good man it only makes you smarter.

A street fight is always spontaneous and unexpected

Everything starts instantly, spontaneously, and you should not expect any foreplay. Even if you console yourself with the illusion that the years of training have not been in vain and you are permanently ready for battle, like some Miyamoto Musashi. Of course, later, in hindsight, you understand that a person initially ran up and looked for adventures, and you were a fool, since you didn’t understand this right away.

But there are also completely unexpected, almost absurd, moments - a second ago you were talking with a friend on the phone - and now you are beating some ill-mannered citizen on a tambourine.

It's always unpleasant, regardless of the outcome.

And it's not even that they beat you with their hands and feet on the delicate parts of the body. It's just that negative emotions are superimposed on organic damage and leave behind the feeling that you were covered in manure. Even after coming out of the fight as a winner, you still feel vile for a long time. It is mentally, not physically.

You will be condemned by others, even if you are right and stood up for someone

If you got into a fight on the street or, even worse, in public transport (this is a separate category of adventures) - expect non-verbal and sometimes verbal condemnation of others.

It is pointless to fight with it, pointless to argue, because it is irrational. After all, you just punched a disgusting gaping hole in their small and cozy world with your aggressive behavior. And they don't care what caused it. In the language of sociology, you not only broke someone's face, but also broke the frame around them.

Street fight lasts for moments

Maybe someone had the experience of hour-long confrontations, but in my case, the fights lasted a matter of moments. However, during this time, a lot happened at once, and it was instantly decided who won now, and who received his weighty ones and modestly rests in the bushes.

I don’t know if our brains work this way or it’s a matter of personal characteristics, but all my fights are remembered at the same time in great detail and in fragments. Many pictures in the smallest details remain in the memory, downright photographically imprinted in the mind. But between them, and especially immediately after the process, there are gaping gaps. Entire pieces of dialogue disappear and memories of how I then went somewhere or sat on a bench, trying to come to my senses.

The whole fight feels like slow motion

Time is stretched, and, despite the fact that in reality no more than a minute has passed (most likely even thirty seconds), it seems that you watched a ten-minute, or even half-hour show with your participation. Very specific and familiar to most of those who fought on the street, sensations.

A powerful adrenaline rush

This is how the human body works: no matter how peaceful and collected you are, with a sharp fright or rage, adrenaline is always released into the body. And if he helped our ancestors to run away from a bear for a long time or beat a neighbor in a cave with a club, now the adrenaline surge has a lot of negative consequences.

A fight or a conflict flew by in ten seconds, and it beats you for another twenty or thirty minutes. The sensation is somewhat reminiscent of excessive intoxication and passes just as slowly and unpleasantly.

Later, idiotic reflection and a shameful search for self-justification cuts in

Since in modern society The upbringing of boys is mainly done by women (while their husbands are struggling with the last of their strength to fight a midlife crisis), then they instill an appropriate attitude towards fights.

Hence the widespread feeling that fighting is basically bad, disgusting and bestial. Therefore, even if you were right about everything (protected the girl or was attacked for nothing at all), you still unconsciously begin to look for additional excuses for what happened.

The demonization of the enemy is used: he himself started and was drunk and asocial, and in general he is not from our collective farm. The mechanism of “whitening” myself immediately turns on: I defended the girl, he ran into it himself, but there’s nothing so good and kind about me, it’s not good to look at me.

Fighting on the street - an invaluable sports experience

For all its disadvantages, it was the fights that gave me the most serious combat experience, and this despite the fact that I also have a good experience in competitions. The fact is that in a street fight, the body operates in the worst of the negative environments, and all your actions are recorded straight into the subconscious.

Therefore, the blows and actions that I got in fights are now my most “favorite” and reliable. And it was them that I subsequently worked out on pears, honing and clearly knowing: in which case, I have at least a couple of absolutely reliable and passed the most severe test of blows.

The best experience you can get out of a street fight is avoiding them.

No matter how my street fights ended, I always took away from them only one installation: I do not want a repetition of this in the future. Therefore, trying to work on the mistakes, I began to change my behavior in order to minimize the possibility of the same situation in the future. It is clear that life still throws up surprises, and the next conflict always jumps out like a devil from a snuffbox - completely unexpected and inappropriate.

Do I want to fight in the street? Certainly not.
Will I? If circumstances force it, yes, of course.

Know how to wait

main secret happiness

When you turn 35 plus, all your friends and acquaintances begin to soothe so delicately, they say, over the years, exposure increases, and, like a good alcoholic drink, this significantly adds quality and value. Yes, damn it, they are right: the more years, the more exposure.

How many problems arise in life because you cannot wait! Do not tolerate - with this, our women, as a rule, have too much (sometimes their forgiveness would not hurt to reduce), but that's it - to wait. Do not flare up right there when the boss scolded the wrong thing. Do not answer this very second when you got rude in a store or in transport. Do not call a man who does not show interest in you. Do not go an hour after a quarrel to put up with a loved one who himself was guilty. Do not shout back when the husband switched to raised voices without warning. And a lot more “not”, because when you are young, emotions and hormones are over the edge, and there is little love for yourself.

When you become a mature person, even those who previously invariably managed to piss you off note: “Well, you have endurance!” And you don't know whether to be happy or upset about it. Because, on the one hand, endurance is definitely not a sign of youth, and on the other hand, sometimes you get an impossible buzz because you know how to manage yourself, that self-discipline is not an empty word and you can do it.

In your life, probably, something like this has happened or is happening ... I wrote one angry SMS - I want to scribble eight more in pursuit and explain everything. I had a fight on the phone with someone close - bursting immediately to call back, and speak out to the end, and call until your number is blocked. The young man did not open the door - you will ring the doorbell until the police are called. Sent one last goodbye email, then three more goodbye emails, and two days later a conciliatory one. She told everything to her mother, left the house, returned the next evening, because renting an apartment is not a fairy tale at all. She decided to divorce her husband, threatened with a statement in the heat of the moment, and a day later she came to ask for money for boots. She slammed the door in the boss's office, half an hour later she brought a letter of resignation, cried all night and in the morning agreed to work overtime not in her position. Thus, she killed all the achievements from the first step, lost her self-respect and showed herself to be an extremely unbalanced person. Stop then...

It is very difficult to stop the stream of consciousness when hurricanes are raging in the soul. This is a high class - such self-management. Anyone who can just say to himself at the right moment: “Stop” is definitely capable of winning any war and any game. You choose what will help you: count up to 10 or up to 100, multiply 365 by 247 in your head, count all the surrounding red objects. Or smash your cell phone to hell if your hand reaches out to dial a number. Or go cry in the bathroom. Or go outside and walk around your area 15 times. Or push up from the floor 50 times. Or a bunch of other ways to bring yourself to life - to a sense of self-worth.

Once in a lifetime there comes a time when you realize that yours will be yours, and with that comes peace. You begin to clearly realize that the best choice may not be the one that fate throws at you at the moment. That if for some reason you want to cry, then you should do it right away, but send all letters and SMS in the morning (if dawn does not come in the soul with dawn on the street). What is behind your 35 years, there will be 36 and 37 years ... And life will not stop: a worthy man will meet, and children will be born, and work will be to your heart's content. What can we say about 25, why drive horses there?

It seems that being able to wait is perhaps the main secret of happiness. Not to miss the first option that came across, but to take exactly the one that you dreamed of, not to blurt out the first thing that came to mind and what you will regret, but to say accurately, subtly and to the point - and get real pleasure from being able to endure and hit the target. Because the right decision is a dish that is best served cold.

You might object, “But what about emotional intelligence if you suppress your emotions?” Not to suppress, but to be aware of them and manage them, respectively, to help thinking. Rare decisions made in the heat of the moment are effective. Emotional intelligence is definitely not a tantrum.

And, most importantly, your endurance gives rise to respect for you. This is something that is definitely worth learning in life.

He walks away from the conversation as soon as it comes to something ambiguous. You have deep, meaningful conversations, but it's worth mentioning something related to sex - and he changes the subject.
If he holds the door for you and gives you a coat - this can be understood in any way. Maybe he's in love with you, or maybe he just has good manners.
He does not miss the opportunity to touch you - and behaves exactly the same with everyone else. Put a hand on your shoulder? Adjusting a strand of hair that fell on your forehead? You start to think that he is madly in love with you, and then you notice that he is just one of those people who hugs everyone, pulls on buttons, kisses at a meeting, etc. This guy just loves to be touched.
Your grandmother would call him a "good boy." He's probably just a really good boy. Good boys are good with everyone, not just the women they hit.
He replies to messages right away. If he was in love, he would try not to show it and pause for a few minutes (well, maybe he is so crazy about you that he does not care about all these games. and therefore he writes as soon as he received the message ).
He gives you the same compliments he gives his sister. Example: "You look good" is not flirting. “You have beautiful eyes” is already like flirting. “You have a gorgeous ass” - hmm, too much.
You are 100 percent sure that he is flirting with you... Until you see him talking to another woman. And you understand that he just has such a manner of communication. This does not mean that he is indifferent to you. It's just hard to define. On the other hand, would you like to date a guy who flirts with everyone?
He is a foreigner. Then your chances are 50/50: either he flirts with you or he doesn't. It's all about the difficulties of translation and the difference in cultural norms: roughly speaking, in one country a passionate kiss at a meeting is a simple “hello”, in another a kiss on the cheek is everything, you have to get married.
You tried to kiss him, but he evaded. Of course, there is still a chance that he is some kind of Mormon and is waiting with the first kiss before the wedding.
He does not leave you his contacts and is not interested in yours. If he doesn’t try to take your phone number and, moreover, refuses to leave his, then it was just a non-committal socialite talk on the party.
He's trying to set you up with one of his friends. This is not how people in love treat those they are in love with.
He never writes or calls you himself. Can chat with you for a long time if you call or reply to your messages, but never initiates contact. Either this guy knows how to communicate with people worse than anyone else, or he just tries to act friendly.

The worst thing is to wake up ten years later and realize that next to you is a complete stranger. This is not about a hard separation, after which you woke up in an unfamiliar apartment, but about the experiences of girls who are unsure, “is this the one?”

Doubts are normal, and it's best to experience them before you get a couple of kids and a common one and a half in a residential area. Often people stay in unhappy relationships only because they are afraid of loneliness or do not want to solve household problems related to divorce.

We are convinced that it is never too late to become happy, but we advise you to make sure now that the one you need is near. The following signs will help you understand that you made the wrong choice.

1. You can't be honest with him.

Honesty in a relationship is not about morality at all, but about your own comfort. You can lie to your mom that you are wearing the ugly sweater she gave you; tell your friends that this bag costs seven thousand rubles, not one and a half; but in a relationship with a man, you want to say everything as it is, and know that you will always be understood.

There is nothing more humiliating than the need to dodge and encrypt from oneself loved one in fear that he will judge you.

2. You look with envy at happy couples.

Sometimes you look at two people and the meaning of the notorious comparison with becomes clear. Have you seen these sticky figures in the corners of cafes, on benches in the park, on the back seat of the bus? How they mutter something into each other's hair, twirl their fingers, argue heatedly, both already ready to give in.

It's hard not to wince looking at those snot with crumbs. The sight is really not pleasant. And the worst thing is that you suddenly feel alone. Even a treacherous thought flashes: "I wish I did so." You turn around - your beloved is gloomily chewing on a sandwich, staring at a smartphone. If this is happiness, then you imagined it differently.

3. Can't be yourself

Starting a relationship, we, unwittingly, become excessively compliant. How many times have you convinced yourself that swearing is not for you, that you didn’t really want to go to that club where your friends invited you, that you are delighted with the Superman films and are looking forward to the next part of Star Wars?

After a year of such a relationship, where you have to take position after position, you understand that the endless attempt to live up to his ideals does not bring the desired result. Even when you put your “I” in the inside pocket of a winter jacket that you haven’t worn since last year, you remain yourself. Only very unhappy and depressed.

4. You have to limit yourself all the time

It is not necessary to completely share each other's interests - the main thing is that he does not limit your individuality.

The happiest relationship is when both do not strive to merge into a single organism, but give the loved one the opportunity to remain a whole person. He may not understand your hobbies, but he must accept and respect them. If your hobby is, for example, striptease, then explain that this activity helps to keep yourself in excellent physical shape, and him - in satiety and comfort.

5. He doesn't satisfy you in bed.

Sex is definitely not the main thing, especially on the first two dates. As for the rest of life together, here intimacy should be an inexhaustible source of joy, a ray of light in the dusty darkness of everyday life, and not yet another reason for disappointment. Lack of attraction to a partner and chronic sexual dissatisfaction will inevitably lead you to betrayal. Remember, no matter how spiritually rich he is, it's not worth turning a blind eye to his little misunderstanding all your life.

6. He annoys you

In general (here you sigh heavily and roll your eyes), he is certainly not bad. Two arms, two legs, not rude over trifles, what more could you want? Now, if only I hadn’t squished soup so disgustingly during dinner. And he did not squeal with laughter, like a wounded seagull. And he wouldn’t be stupid on the menu in a restaurant for half an hour, as if he didn’t choose a meal at a time, but chooses a life partner.

The thing is, dear, that he pisses you off without doing anything about it. Annoying by the very fact of its existence. But, since formally there is no reason for dissatisfaction, you continue to convince yourself that this is how it should be.

Living together is always work, but there is no need to turn it into torture. It is important to decide which shortcomings you are ready to accept, and which ones you will never put up with. If there are more of the latter, this is not your relationship.

7. You don't have any common interests

It is not necessary to share all the interests of each other, but it is necessary to have at least one common one. You have to have an affair, besides sex, that you can do with a high for both. Lack of common values and interests leads to emotional alienation. If you can’t find common ground in any way, maybe it’s easier to find a new man?

8. Your friends hate him

This is far from the main criterion, but if your entire environment claims that this type is a goat, and you are not worthy, maybe you should think about it. Falling in love often overshadows our minds, but, fortunately, it is not contagious and other people continue to look at your boyfriend soberly. Besides, these are the people you trust. Friends are needed not only to have someone to drink with on the weekend, sometimes they can say useful things. Of course, this sign can only be an addition to the others, and by no means the main argument.