How to behave with a pedant man. The charms and limitations of a pedantic person. Pedantry - good or bad

So, you met, fell in love, decided to live together. In your chosen one, you like its accuracy, accuracy, stability.

Very attractive! Isn't it worth thinking about the fact that all these are signs of pedantry? Your chosen one is a pedant: is it good or bad? Everything will depend on you and your desire. If you want passion, crazy deeds, bunches of flowers, serenades under the balcony, fountains of champagne, endless sex - alas, you have the wrong address. If, however, such things as confidence in the future matter to you, the future, order and stability are of concern, then you just need a pedant. So who is he - a pedant? With what, as they say, do they eat it? What properties and qualities does it have? Is it good or bad? We will try to figure this out. Understand all the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.

What are the disadvantages of a pedant husband?

First about the bad. In Dahl's explanatory dictionary, the definition is: "A pedant is a strict, precise, picky, self-confident follower of a unilateral order ...". For me personally, it's not very attractive. believe that pedants are born, not made. If your husband is a pedant, then order will become just a nightmare for you. You will have to disassemble and re-fold all the things in the cabinets under the close supervision of your dear. It is necessary to put things in a strictly defined order understandable only to him alone. Fold the laundry in an even pile, pre-sorted by fabric quality and color. Socks are folded heel to heel, toe to toe, no balls. And again, in color and quality, and most importantly - in separate bags. The shirts are ironed, hung one at a time, in no case pressed against each other, otherwise, God forbid, they will be rumpled. Pants should hang in trouser clips, arrow to arrow. Your closet will also be reorganized. Do not expect that they will take your word for it - there will be a thorough check, up to drawing up an act of work performed. Your home must be in perfect condition. The excuse that I didn’t have time or I feel bad is not accepted. The bed is made under the ruler - no folds, no wrinkles. If the bedspread is with flowers, be extremely careful - the flowers look up, not down (where the spouse determines the top and bottom). We don’t even talk about such trifles as dust and unwatered flowers, everything is clear here and so. Next is the kitchen. Here is a treasure trove. Cereals, spices, pasta - everything must be in special containers with inscriptions that naturally correspond to the contents. And then suddenly you need to salt, and in a jar - chili pepper, that's bad luck! The jars in the closet are in a strictly defined order, exactly, harmoniously, like soldiers on a parade ground. Cups, plates, glasses - everything has its place, a certain shelf. Refrigerator - better ask your husband to do this and put the products “as it should”. Believe me, you will not please him. Your cosmetics will also be carefully selected and sorted. Everything will be arranged by color, size, quality. What does not pass the casting - will fly into the trash. Shoes are generally from the unreal world. It should be: washed, polished to a shine, stand exactly on the thread. For all deviations from the established rules, even minimal ones, you will be reprimanded, dissatisfied, scandals. The pedant lives by his own laws. He has his own point of view on everything, and he does not tolerate the slightest interference in his routine. Do you have enough strength and energy to maintain the established order once and for all? Then - go ahead!

What are the advantages of a pedant husband?

But there is another side of the coin. From the point of view, there are many advantages here. Yes, it’s hard to live with a pedant man, but it’s quite possible. Do not try to change it - it is useless. Try to understand him and accept him as he is - you will receive considerable benefits from living together. If you are still studying, then this acquisition has no price! Well, who, if not a pedant, will be the first assistant and teacher? He will scrupulously study the subject, and then he will tirelessly explain to you, chew, explain until you understand what's what. He will never get tired of explaining and helping you - after all, this is a feature of his character. Then, when you have your own children, you will not have to collect toys scattered by your child, sit with him for homework. The husband will show everything, explain, arrange it so that everything is at hand and in its place. Men pedants mostly take care of all the housework. Most of the time, they are exceptionally delicious. With great pleasure they wash, vacuum, wash the floor. Since each work is paid, do not forget and do not spare praise for him. With a gentle smile admire his care, skill, diligence, patience. If you find the right approach to your beloved, then your life with him can be very happy. It is also better to entrust finances to him. The husband will never forget to pay or buy on time. The pedant will screw in the light bulb in time and call the plumber. Your life with a pedant is no lost things, unfulfilled promises, order in things and documents. And yet, it is very important - pedantry and alcoholism are not compatible concepts. What is it? With such a husband, you will never feel alone. Think, add up all the pros and cons, consider all the pros and cons, add your temperament to everything - you will get the result. Which? I can't say that - your choice, your decision.

Hello dear readers! Today's article is devoted to the topic: what does a pedantic person mean. We will try to understand the concepts, consider a pedant in different areas of life, understand what are the advantages of this type of personality and what difficulties owners of this character have to endure.

Features of a pedantic person

There are different types of personality. Someone active, open and agile. The other is more calm, measured and slow. The book by Otto Kroeger and Janet Thewsen will help you understand this issue well. Why are we like this? 16 personality types that determine how we live, work and love". If you want to know this area even deeper, then I recommend that you turn your attention to the works Carl Gustav Jung.

When someone says “he is a pedant”, then an association with the negative immediately arises in the head: excessive accuracy, scrupulousness to details, pettiness, pickiness, thorough study, and so on. It turns out that being pedantic is bad? Not unless it turns into manic pedantry, which we'll talk about later.

Many are confused in three concepts: pedantry, idealism and perfectionism. Let's figure it out. We immediately brush aside idealism, because this is a purely philosophical concept and has nothing to do with the type of personality.

But the perfectionist is really often confused with the pedant. Only they have one main difference: the pedant will strictly follow the instructions, do everything according to a clear plan, on time, accurately and accurately, but the perfectionist does not care about all this. For him, only the result is important, which should be the best (fast, beautiful, fashionable, new, and so on).

It is rare to find a real pedantic person in our country. They are much more common in Germany or Norway. And remember, each personality type has its pros and cons, the main task of a person is to recognize them, learn to work on themselves and use their strength.

Have you ever met a real pedant? How did you find with him mutual language? What are the indisputable advantages of such people? Why can it be difficult to communicate with them? Do you find similar traits in yourself?

Wish you all the best!

Time for romantic relationships. A man cares as if his woman is a goddess, and he was created to fulfill her desires. He comes to a date with flowers, is always clear, punctual and obligatory.

He is always dressed "with a needle", following the latest fashion trends. And, finally, he blows off the dust particles from his chosen one, and in the truest sense of the word. Is it possible to remain indifferent to such a man? This is the dream man!

But the time of romantic relationships smoothly flows into the marriage and household period, and the man-dream turns out to be a slave of order, trying with all his might to turn his beloved, now presented as a wife, into the same slave of order. Romance is a thing of the past, having removed the mask from the man, and under the mask is a pedant.

Marriage with a pedant: is it always and in everything bad?

Life with a pedant can turn into a nightmare, or it can flow quietly, bringing joy to both. The choice in this case is up to the woman: only she can find the “golden ratio” that will become the core of their successful marriage. To change a pedant is a utopian idea, devoid of even small hopes of victory. You just have to learn to live with it.

  • You may be interested in: How to Raise a Good Husband

A man who creates a cult of cleanliness and order, of course, has his minuses, but there are also pluses, and there is also the opportunity to turn the minuses into pluses. To do this, it is necessary, first of all, to study them, and then put them at the service of oneself. And it's not that hard. One has only to take advantage of the fact that the pedant is demanding not only to others, but also to himself. He, of course, establishes his own laws and rules, but he himself follows them strictly. One has only to take his shortcomings as allies and you can safely find the advantages of living with such a person.

What can be delegated to a pedant? He takes on some tasks himself. For example, not trusting a woman with the cleanliness of items related to cooking, he will unquestioningly take over washing dishes or even caring for the kitchen as a whole. Sometimes cooking itself falls under his close attention, which can serve as a reason for him to take on this responsibility, because whatever his wife does, she will not do it right enough.

  • You may be interested in: Marriage with a Creative Personality

Using his meticulousness and verifiable accuracy in everything, you can entrust all the home accounting. In this case, you can be sure that all accounts will be checked to the penny. A pedant husband can become indispensable in raising a child. He will be meticulous in choosing children's furniture, and the toys in the child's room will always be in order, and he will accustom the baby to this order by his own example, knowing full well that the child will certainly not do as required. Preparing for school and studying will also become his prerogative, because teaching a child is a very important stage of life and cannot be entrusted to anyone.

If you develop the right line of conduct with such a man, then marriage with a pedant can bring a lot of pleasure. And who knows what is better: a cult of perfect order or an endless collection of men's socks scattered throughout the apartment.

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All people are different. By character, by manners of behavior, as well as in relation to order and cleanliness. A separate niche in our society is occupied by pedants - people who are fixated on idealistic concepts in everything. It is easy to confuse such types with neat and clean people.

What kind of person is this

It is good to live in cleanliness and order, to follow your principles and rules. But remember the proverb: "Too much is not healthy."

To be a pedant is to be on the verge of a manic dependence on one's meticulous habits in cleanliness and scrupulousness in absolutely everything - from appearance to life and attitude towards others.

Pedantry is a lifestyle. It is extremely difficult to get along with such people, and trying to change them is almost impossible.

Pedantic personalities still have the name "man - German precision", for which compliance with the rule is in the first place.

Causes of behavior

Pedantry can be described as a painful character trait that can be laid down from childhood.

Often, parents from an early age try to instill accuracy in the child, teach them to order, and at the same time they do not give freedom in the amount that is needed.

The child becomes obsessed with the rules, which become more and more difficult to deviate with age. Against this background, complexes develop, a person tries to find himself and do everything perfectly in order to seem better against the background of others (relatives, friends), and such behavior is already becoming the norm of life.

Signs of a pedantic personality

  • Restraint in character.

The pedant always decides what is good and what is bad for him, what is right and what is not. Listening to others is not the lot of such types. With all this ambition, such people prefer restraint in statements, and in behavior in general.

  • Constant search for harmony with yourself, and with your ideas about the ideal.

With a certain restraint in character, a pedant can be provoked into conflict if his opinion and habits are condemned by society.

  • Another clear sign of a pedantic personality is not much contact with other people.

The pedant carefully selects his social circle. And, as a rule, these are the same people who are inclined to idealize everything around.

Positive sides

  • Leadership.

Without the ability to build the right line in behavior with colleagues, compliance with the rules and order both at work and in personal space, only a person who knows how to correctly present himself in society can acquire. Success comes to diligent and hardworking people, which can be said about the type of personality under discussion.

  • Compliance and responsibility.

These character traits play an important role. A pedant can easily make important decisions and take responsibility for the actions committed by others, and, moreover, find an excuse for others. Such neat people like to dig not only in themselves, but also in others, which is not always bad, but, on the contrary, can bring results.

  • Planning ahead.

"Right personality" (as pedants are often called) are prone to a clear schedule and planning. Thoughtful actions always have a good effect in working moments and in personal life in general.

disadvantages

Pedantry is not a personality type in and of itself. This is a character trait that shows people who are too picky about trifles, scrupulous people. Such a person quite often condemns others, calls them to a sequence of actions, deprives them of faith in “crazy ideas”.

What is dangerous

Pedantry does not pose any threat to health, only if it does not become obsessive and does not develop into. A person can withdraw into himself, remain misunderstood and unrecognized, acquire a paranoid psychosis.

You need to clearly understand where the line between adequacy and "inflection" is.

How not to become a bore

It just so happens that most people are drawn to leaders and want to become leaders themselves. The pedant will never be in the shadow of others. This type of people tend to express their "I". But sometimes in this behavior there is no symbiosis with simplicity (which is so necessary for a pedant), and it becomes difficult to be near such a person.

Isolda Mayorova

Pedantry (or pedantry) - what is it in psychology? We are talking about the quality of a person, which implies the presence of extreme accuracy and accuracy in human actions, as well as an excessive tendency to comply with formal requirements and rules. If a person is pedantic, then he zealously and thoroughly follows the rules and certain norms, which he accepts for himself.

Pedantry - is it good or bad?

Pedantry is a character trait of anankastic people (anankastics), which are often found in Northern Europe, and especially in Germany: everyone knows that the notorious German pedantry implies a character trait - accuracy. In Russia, pedants are rare.

The attitude of society to the character trait under discussion is ambiguous, and therefore the question arises: is pedantry good or bad? There is no single answer to this question. If we talk about moderate pedantry, then it can be considered as positive trait character, which cannot be said about excessive pedantry, which is a vice and the cause of various negative situations and conflicts.

A pedant is easy to identify by his desire to do everything according to the unwritten rules. Such people strive for the ideal.

Negative character traits of a pedant

Pedants are very prone to imposing their own opinions, habits on other people, because they sincerely consider their vision of the world to be "the ultimate truth." Such a person can hardly be considered pleasant in communication. If we choose a synonym for the definition of "pedantry", then people who are often called such words as "piece of wood", "cracker", "formalist" are remembered.

Pedantry cannot be regarded as an absolute synonym for formalism. It would be more accurate to say that formalism is just the visible tip of the iceberg called "pedantry"

Pedantry, if it is present in the character, manifests itself in any situation. Pedants usually in a special way lay out things in the closet, food in the refrigerator, arrange books on the shelf in accordance with their size and color of the cover. Anacasts get annoyed if someone put their shoes “incorrectly” in the hallway, put the plates in the kitchen cabinet, or hung up the towel in the bathroom on the wrong side.

The pedantic type of human character means that its owner seeks to bring completeness and ideality to the world the way he imagines it. This desire often turns into the imposition of their habits on others, which becomes the reason conflict situations, scandals in the family and at work.

Pedants love order in everything, in particular, they arrange books by size or color of the cover.

Pathological pedantry

In psychology, there is such a thing as "pathological pedantry", which denotes the excessive and scrupulous desire of a person for accuracy and order, brought to the point of absurdity, when a person performs actions that are more reminiscent of a kind of ritual. For example, we can talk about a schedule for a week or a month ahead of a menu of home meals, clothes that a person will wear on a given day.

Anancasters are prone to relentless double-checking of work, household appliances when leaving home. And this despite the fact that the pedantic personality type of people does not imply the presence of such qualities as forgetting to close the door or turn off the gas. Any household chores for an anancastes require much more time than expected. This is due to the fact that they do almost everything several times: they wash dishes, vegetables during cooking.

According to experts, pathological pedantry is the inability to distinguish significant details from small and insignificant. Pedants show pettiness and painstaking work, performing even the simplest, and sometimes absolutely useless work. With such manifestations, pedantry is considered a serious psychological deviation..

Excessive manifestation of pedantry becomes the cause of anankastic personality disorder. This phenomenon negatively affects relationships with others and the ability to make decisions.

Positive traits of a pedant

but to talk about pedants exclusively in a negative way would be biased. A pedant is a person who loves order, which is positively evaluated by society. It is no coincidence that the word “pedant” has a sufficient number of positive synonyms: “accurate”, “literal”, “clear”.

Pedants and profession

Anancasts fit perfectly into the team, becoming indispensable people in many professions.. Moderate pedantry is simply necessary for representatives of such professions as aircraft technicians or auto repairmen, who are required to repeatedly check and revise aircraft or cars to ensure safety. And therefore, if a person is not a pedant, then he should think before choosing this kind of profession.

Pedants at home

Pedantry is manifested in anancastes and in everyday life They constantly check their homework. A pedantic woman (pedant) is an excellent hostess, in whose house cleanliness and order reign, where everything is polished and ironed. True, the house of a pedant is usually more like a museum, and therefore the atmosphere in it cannot be called cozy, and washing the floors four times a day can tire not only the woman herself, but also all household members. However, even a pedant man is able to “build” the whole family.

Pedants are indispensable workers

Anancaste, who works as an accountant, will be a "valuable find" for any company, since all his documentation will be in perfect order, and the balance will be reduced to a penny. Anancasts just can't do anything "somehow".

Moderate pedants are serious, thorough people who perform any work entrusted to them with high quality and on time. Anancastes are people of duty, conscientious about their duties.. These qualities of pedants are highly valued by leaders.

Career prospects for pedants

Pedants are formalists and sometimes unbearable bores, but in some professions these qualities are indispensable. Therefore, anancasters often have a great career - they become good leaders. high level. And this may not even happen by their will.

It's just that responsible people who perform their duties well often move up the corporate ladder. However, anancast leaders are afraid to make independent responsible decisions and take responsibility for other people.

Moderate pedantry is often appreciated by employers. Such people are excellent at work where scrupulous adherence to the rules is required.

Cleanliness in everything

In order to better understand what a pedantic person is, it should be noted that we are talking about neat and clean, which is primarily manifested in his appearance : clean and carefully ironed clothes, neat hair, well-polished shoes. Pedants, even staying at home, do not allow carelessness in appearance.

Pedant parents

In the matter of raising children, pedantic people are true to themselves: the established regime cannot be violated, and therefore at the specified time, the child should go to the potty, go to bed coming home from school. However, you should not get the impression that a pedantic person means a bad parent. Pedants are not insensitive individuals, and therefore, like all parents, they love children, sacrifice themselves for them.

Pedants spare no time to put things in order, without it they will get nervous

Pedantry Test

If you want to know if you have such a quality, then try to pass the pedantry test, especially since it will not be difficult to do this at all - you just need to agree or disagree with the proposals set out. You should answer "yes" or "no" to the statements provided. You can’t think about the answer for a long time:

I always keep funds in absolute order in my wallet.
I am happy to do a job that requires a lot of responsibility.
People make too few demands on each other.
It's hard not to notice carelessly folded shoes, clothes, mess. There is a desire to fix it.
All work I do with diligence and scrupulousness.
I can't sleep if the whole day has been devoted to thinking about a particular situation.
Each thing should have its own, permanent place.
If you do not have time to finish things, then you can go home with peace of mind.
Before leaving the apartment, I always double-check taps, switches, etc.
I pour all liquids to the edge of the dish.
Intrusive thoughts arise.
You don't think it's right to make a plan for the day.
If you notice that a person does not cope with the work, then there is a desire to do everything on their own.
You are distracted from worries if you work for a long time.

So, for choosing the answer "yes" to statements numbered 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, add 1 point. For the answer "no" to statements numbered 2, 8, 12, also add 1 point. Sum these numbers. The result will show the level of pedantry of your personality.

When the sum is from 0 to 4 - low level. With a sum of 10 to 14 - high.

Conclusion

Pedantry is a special personality trait; it is not quite correct to say whether it is good or bad. This is a given that is present in a person, regardless of his desire. Pedantry is an ambiguous personality trait that brings both positive and negative traits to it. In this regard, we urge you to be tolerant towards people, not to put “labels” on them, remembering that we are all different!

March 31, 2014, 17:43
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