How many times a person cheats per day. He lies as he breathes: why do men lie and will lie? Paranormal Activity: True or False

When it comes to the art of lying, everyone immediately thinks of women. But if you remember those who lie the most, men come to mind.

What is this stereotype and is it based on something more than prejudices?

Why do men lie

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Each of us has our own reasons to lie. It all depends on the situation, the prevailing circumstances, and even on the worldview of the liar.

A guy lies to make himself look better than he really is. He can embellish his financial situation or his position.

By inventing a story about his cool car, a man will quickly arouse the interest of the opposite sex.

But such tales are told not only to impress the girl, but for a perfectly acceptable purpose. Having lied, the guy becomes more confident in his own abilities, and therefore stops stuttering and getting nervous during a conversation.

There are liars among both sexes, but it is much more important for men to feel confident in themselves, which is why they have gained fame as deceivers.

There are many reasons why guys lie. Most often, they want to improve the situation and achieve a certain goal with the help of dishonest methods ...

A guy will lie about a work meeting without telling his girlfriend that he actually spent the evening with friends, watching football and drinking beer.

The reason for lying is simple - unwillingness to quarrel or feel guilty, because he is well aware that he did not do well. Men often think that lying is the lesser of evils. They don't understand that a lie is always worse than the truth.

How to understand that a man is lying?

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How to understand that a man is lying? Take advantage of what psychology and psychophysiology have given us. These sciences study the physical reactions of the human body.

Lying requires mental and emotional effort from us, which is why it becomes much easier to understand that he is lying due to the following body reactions:

• The guy doesn't make eye contact. His gaze runs around the surrounding space, but does not stop at the interlocutor.
• The liar is sweating. During a conversation, a man sweats on his forehead, temples and above his upper lip, even if he is in a cool room or on the street.
• His breathing quickens. The interlocutor breathes as if he ran a marathon before the conversation.
• There are pauses in the conversation. Lies need to be thought out in advance, and when improvising, there are hitches.
• The timbre, tone of voice, and also the speed of speech change slightly.

In the question of how to determine a lie, attentiveness and the degree of closeness with a person are important. If a woman knows the interlocutor well, it will not be difficult for her to guess when he starts to lie.

Moreover, the female eye distinguishes falsehood more sharply: perhaps also because the fair sex has better developed intuition.

Each person has their own symptoms that indicate a lie. Some rub their earlobe, others scratch their eyebrows, others sniffle all the time.

The question of how to find out that a man is lying is actually not so important. It is much more important to understand the reason for such behavior and do everything to hear only the truth in the future.

What to do if a man is lying

How many times a day do you think the average person tells a lie? Twice? Three? No. According to statistics, this happens up to 50 times a day. Most often this is done unconsciously. The simplest example. Your colleague asks in the morning: “How are you?”. You automatically, without hesitation, answer: “Yes, everything is fine, thank you!”. Even if it's not really all that good. Why is this happening? What prevents us from being honest and sincere?

Psychology of children's lies.

And it all starts with childish lies. From about 3-4 years old, the child realizes that no one can read his thoughts, that he has his own inner world. And at this time he makes the first attempts to tell a lie. Usually these attempts look very funny and funny, and adults often laugh and play along with the baby.

Later, at the age of 5-6, the lie becomes conscious and, most often, is a consequence of the fear of being punished. And the reaction of an adult, for some reason, becomes different. The child is scolded and punished. From this, the kid concludes that he is bad. But not because he was guilty of something, but because he could not hide it.

To everything else, copying adult behavior is added. The child notices how the parents lie. For example, at home, a mother may speak disrespectfully about Aunt Katya, and when she comes to visit, show a completely different attitude. From this, the child concludes that since the mother does this, it is right.

Lie theory.

It turns out that all adults lie. They lie often, and sometimes unconsciously. Some do it out of lack of attention. In this case, the person lies beautifully, sweepingly. Some lie, creating a world for themselves in which they themselves unconditionally believe. Others lie, habitually trying to avoid punishment, as in childhood.

Many resort to lies in order to add prestige to themselves in order to look "cooler" in the eyes of others. Such False occurs in adolescence and often lasts a very long time.

A lot of cases of lies occur when a person is trying to get some kind of personal benefit. For example, when applying for a job. Attributing to yourself a couple of non-existent qualities or embellishing existing ones is a chance to get a position.

And sometimes for a person to lie is simply to save time. For example, a wife asking a question to her husband: “How are things at work?”, Gets a short answer: “Normal”. And here it is not a matter of a conscious desire to hide information, but an unwillingness to indulge in lengthy explanations of the intricacies of the upcoming deal, fluctuations in prices for stainless steel railings, etc.

How to understand that a person is lying?

There are a number of signs lie theories. They allow with a high degree of probability to identify a liar:

1) the liar chooses his words very carefully, being afraid to give himself away
2) pauses in conversation say the same thing
3) increase in intonation of the voice, occurs unconsciously
4) a lot of unnecessary words, like a wall covering lies

How to get rid of this habit?

Try not to lie one day, one week. You will see how hard it is.
- find out in what situations you lie? Only to yourself? Only with the boss? Only for children?
- analyze what you get by lying? Pleasure? Or maybe you just can't say no? Or are you trying to be better?

And when, after reading this article, you mentally exclaim: “Yes, I never ...!”, think about it, are you lying?

There is some interesting information about how views on falsehood in religion developed. Back in the Middle Ages, Catholic theologians developed a doctrine that allowed them to lie with a clear conscience.

The world is full of lies. Not only people who are deceitful by nature lie, but also people who are truthful. They lie not only consciously, but also unconsciously. There is also such a type of deception as “mutual deception”, based on strong mutual feelings (love, hate, etc.), in which negative or positive emotions distort the mutual perception of people by each other, as a result of which an objective assessment becomes impossible.

There has been a lot of interesting research lately that has looked at lies and deceit. Here are just some of the results of these studies, which revealed how strong the statistics of lies in modern society are: (it seems that you can’t believe these numbers either, but it’s funny to read)

Lie statistics.

80% of humanity lies every day

65% of people believe that it is necessary to lie in order not to offend other people.

45% of the world's population believe that it is simply necessary to exaggerate some events so that they seem more interesting.

Interestingly, 95% of teenagers lie to their parents.

The higher the social position, the better the person lies

The older a person is, the better he lies.

50% of people think online theft (like downloading pirated music) is acceptable, and only 5% of people think shoplifting is acceptable.

Interestingly, 70% of girls are not telling the truth about their weight.

It is easier to lie and deceive by e-mail than in a regular letter.

15% of employees are caught lying right at the workplace.

20% of guys lie about the number of women they've had.

30% of couples lie to each other about the amount of money they have.

70% of girls believe that it's okay if a man lies to them about their appearance.

Interestingly, 80% of men and women would lie about having a sexually transmitted disease.
It is impossible within the framework of the article to cover the whole huge spectrum of lies that surrounds us.

How are you?

If the question: "How are you?" a colleague began to talk in detail about what is happening in his life, you would avoid asking him such a question in the future. But the unpretentious answer “Everything is in order” indicates that your interlocutor is well-mannered and polite, he will not burden you with his problems, especially when you still cannot solve them for him.

“Everything is fine”, “Everything is in order”, “I am doing well” - these are the variations of a polite answer to the question “How are you?” took first place in the ranking of the most frequent lies.

The following statements were also in the top 20 untruths: “I’m in a traffic jam”, “What message?”, “I didn’t catch my mobile”, “Of course I love you”, “The Internet was turned off for us”, “I don’t have an alarm worked”, “I sent you a check in the mail”, “My cell was dead”, “The train was delayed”, “I’ll call you back in a minute”, “Very tasty”, and “I’m going to the gym tonight”.

If we take into account that on average a person lies 4 times a day, this means that we lie up to 1460 times a year. Basically, we treat our work colleagues with lies, a little less often parents and lovers.

"Fortunately, it's all white lies, nothing serious," said a spokesman for WKD, which conducted the study. “Although we have found that people lie with enviable regularity, most often they do this to save other people's nerves, and not to upset someone.”

One in five men who participated in the survey said that they most often lie in order to sneak away from a girl to a bar with friends or watch football. One in four deceives their partner, saying that she looks good in this or that clothes, although in fact she is of the opposite opinion. 29% of men have lied about flirting with another woman more than once.

But women are far from angels: 44% of the ladies surveyed admitted that they often lie about the price of the clothes they bought, 30% are cunning when it comes to how much they had to drink.

In general, a third of the respondents constantly lie about their weight, a quarter - about the amount of the loan that remains to be paid, and 30% - about the amount of sports exercises they subject themselves to.

P.S.

Reject from yourself the deceitfulness of the mouth, and remove the deceitfulness of the tongue from you. (Prov. 4:24)

A false witness will not go unpunished, and whoever speaks a lie will not be saved. (Prov. 19:5)

When a child is first caught in a lie, the parents are horrified at their discovery: “My God, he lied! What will be next?" Meanwhile, this means that the child has entered adulthood and his brain has developed enough to use various strategies to achieve the best result for himself. For example, not to be punished.

Of course it sounds terrible. It sounds like a child's lie, and we should look at it as a stage of development. But let's ask ourselves a simple question: why do people lie? Evolutionary psychologists argue that both children's lies and adult lies are possible only because of the complexity of the human brain. The brain can calculate and plan for different outcomes of the same situations, where a person will look better, maintain a relationship, or achieve some kind of additional bonus in his life.

The topic of lies is still the cause of philosophical and morally oriented disputes. The question is really quite ambiguous. What is the correct behavior in relationships, is it possible to lie in a relationship? What is better: to be honest, to bring pain and, possibly, to be rejected, or to tell a lie, to bring peace to a person and remain a good friend? Not all people are able to accept not only bitter and painful, but also simple everyday truth. Is it ethical or unethical to lie in a relationship when saving the life and well-being of your family? How obvious is the benefit of lying when the laws of the state are observed? Should I tell the truth to the dying man, or ensure his happy ending by leaving him in the dark? What is moral, what is right? Different people choose different paths.

Theme of lies: how many people lie per day

The question of how often people lie is so intriguing that a lot of research has been devoted to it. One of the latest works (2016) showed that 40.1% lie at least once a day. The record holder of the study on "How many people lie per day" was a man who lied 45 times in 24 hours. Contrary to popular belief, women lie just as much as men. It is difficult to say how true these data are, because liars can lie about their lies. In another study, college students were shown to lie 1 in 3 times when interacting with classmates and faculty. 1% of students reported that they do not lie at all.

If we talk about personality characteristics, then extroverts lie more than introverts. For the former, it is important to keep external connections and demonstrate their personal qualities as often as possible, some of which do not always take place; the second is not particularly necessary. Considering the question of who lies more often, one can answer with confidence: very responsible people lie less, because they feel the need to comply with contracts in their literal sense.

The benefits of lying

There is a big lie ("black"), which is often associated with betrayal of relationships or aimed at extracting personal gain at the expense of others. A small lie ("white") concerns small everyday issues and, in general, does not change anything. It is often aimed at exchanging emotions and demonstrating loyalty and acceptance.

The benefit of lying lies in the fact that it plays a significant role in interpersonal interactions. There is an opinion that lovers during a romantic relationship are more open to each other than married couples. However, it turned out that they deceive each other or give incorrect information in one of three cases. Lovers try to look their best in the eyes of their loved one and express their loyalty. In married couples, partners lie only in one out of ten cases.

And one more thought on the topic of lies: which lie is better - "black" or "white"? Of course, you can immediately say that "black". It acts destructively, brings grief to others and certain unpleasant feelings to the liar. However, the "white" lie is not so simple. Although many people think that lying about small things is a small sin, as a rule, they unconsciously still pay for their unseemly act. A very recent study published this year found that 85% of restaurant goers lie about how much they enjoyed their food. At the same time, 95% of waiters easily recognize a lie, expect a good tip and receive it. Another study shows that people who lie about the quality of their colleague's work take on more work. Habitually lying people spend much more on charity.

Theme of Truth and Lies

Since a lie is a rather controversial phenomenon, it is surrounded by many myths, which, as usual, do not correspond to reality. They were outlined in one of his articles by psychologist Jeremy Sherman.

Falsehood and truth are clearly separated from each other. In fact, these two extremes can be quite cunningly mixed together. The topic of truth and lies is so extensive that several concepts can be distinguished: half-truth; the truth told from a certain point of view; truth with the addition; two-digit "truth".

Lie- a rare occurrence, mostly people tell the truth. Lies, as you can see from the previous story, are not so rare. People use it from time to time, achieving personal goals.

If you misrepresent the facts and misinterpret them, then you are lying. Here the personal view and experience of a person, his cultural experience and unconscious desires are of great importance. A certain interpretation may be the result of ignorance, i.e. information of this kind is not always a lie, except in the case when a person does it deliberately.

The more questions you ask your opponent, the more accurate the information is, and therefore closer to the truth. The liar may be alerted by the abundance of questions and quite skillfully begin to lie, as a result of which the survey will lead even more away from the real facts. In addition, much depends on what kind of truth the questioner is looking for.

The truth is liberating. Not always. On the one hand, to tell the truth is to relieve oneself of the burden of silence and, perhaps, the behavior associated with the preservation of some secret, for the sake of which one has to lie. On the other hand, the truth imposes responsibility for what happened or for the consequences.

You can lie about the future. Then just say that, they say, he wanted to, but it didn’t work out due to circumstances. But you can even do without manipulation, and lay responsibility on the same future.

The better the relationship, the less people lie, the worse the relationship, the more lies between partners. In fact, in bad relationships, people tell each other the bitter truth. Sometimes they just want to evoke negative emotions in a partner, and sometimes they just don't care about the consequences and effect. In good relationships, people often use "sweet lies" and "white lies."

A half truth is as good as a full truth. No matter how it seems, there is still half a lie in the half-truth. What effect will it have on the person being lied to? How will this change his life? Sometimes this is critical for relationships and leads to wrong decisions.

If everyone is lying, then you can lie painlessly. Society or the decisions of others cannot justify one's own decisions. Each person must take responsibility for their own actions.

Every person must always tell the truth. In theory, this is good, but you will also have to bear responsibility for the full truth, as well as for lies. Truth is often subjective. What one believes to be true may be false to others. It happens that subjective truth also destroys relationships.

Paranormal Activity: True or False?

As for children, under the age of 7, the reasons for children's lies lie in the desire to avoid punishment, attract attention, impress parents and friends, and improve interaction with society. Scientists say that four-year-olds lie once every 2 hours, six-year-olds lie once every hour. At the same time, 98% know perfectly well what they are doing wrong. In general, 96% of children lie.

In adolescence, the number of liars is reduced, but they still exist. For a teenager, the impression he makes on his peers is of great importance. For this reason, he often embellishes or directly invents stories about himself and ascribes various qualities to himself, despite the fact that if a lie is revealed, a social catastrophe among his peers may await him. For example, none of the adults will seriously think about the story of a teenager about a paranormal phenomenon: is it true or false? The same-year-olds will listen to a fascinating story with interest, analyze it, and only then they will conclude how much they were deceived by the “storyteller friend”. So, one study showed that out of 36 stories told by teenagers, 12 are completely false. This also applied to those very notorious paranormal phenomena, when children passed off an outright lie as the truth.

Children do lie more than adults. But thoroughly considering the reasons for children's lies, it can be confidently stated that the basis lies in the uncertainty when interacting with the outside world, the need to please and be loved. As children age, they adapt better to life and become more truthful. The only way to teach a child to be truthful is to give him self-confidence.

If you look closely, you can find many people who in one way or another, and more than once, lie during the day. Mostly people lie with the intent to protect their personal interests. However, there are those who want to mislead the interlocutor, and some simply have a predilection for this matter. There are also people who lie to avoid criticism from society.

One of the reasons is that we are often afraid to tell the truth and subconsciously lie to our loved ones, friends, employers and employees for fear of losing something or someone.

In some cases, we already know from previous experience that the interlocutor prefers not to know the bitter truth. He is engaged in self-deception and does not want anyone to disturb his moral state. But in any case, the choice depends on ourselves depending on our own fears or insensitivity, because it is we who decide to participate in lies or not.

In addition, we are more inclined to believe that which is more physically attractive, more famous. When we think that people have a certain power over us, or that they are better than us, they remind us of our parents, so we accept everything they say as the truth.

Psychologist Robert Feldman states: "Once people begin to realize that their self-esteem is under threat, they immediately resort to higher-level lies." Feldman also believes that many people lie for the simple purpose of maintaining social contact, avoiding insults or strife.

The statistics are such that small lies to avoid conflict are the most common type of lie... and conflict avoidance is the main incentive to lie.
Let's look at the main situations of the use of lies in various areas of everyday life.

Lies at work

There are many reasons that answer the question: why do people lie at work? The fact is that fierce competition in completing tasks and achieving higher positions often forces people to do this. Many people use lies to spite their rivals, in order to earn authority in the eyes of others and use it in their career advancement. There are also people who lie in order to get a quick financial gain, material benefits. An example would be store owners who often do not care about the quality of goods, raise prices for no reason, thereby deceiving their customers.

Lies in relationships

Sometimes there are lies that are very hard to understand. For example, people tell lies about themselves when they first meet, often embellish themselves and keep a lot of things under wraps. The main reason for this is the fear that if all the secrets are revealed, the partner will immediately want to leave. At the beginning of a relationship, people often hide the negative aspects of their personality, which later leads to disagreements, arguments and partings with the words: “How have you changed (has) lately.” But it's at least stupid if two people like each other, if both see a joint future - it makes no sense to hide anything, because then it turns out that you know the wrong person at all. Such a lie, first of all, indicates a person's inferiority complex, a subconscious fear of being responsible for someone.

Random lies

No matter how you look at it, most people lie to protect themselves, avoiding painful consequences, shame, embarrassment, or conflict.
Often we lie (telling all sorts of tall tales, embellishing the situation) in order to receive non-material benefits. In this way we elevate ourselves. And let's not pretend, everyone, without exception, wants others to think well of us.

Another reason for lies is the energy saving of internal resources (colloquially - laziness). Example: Lying to avoid wasting personal energy or time on activities we simply don't want to do.

And what about the question: “Does this haircut suit me?”. Probably, each of us has experienced the awkwardness that we experience when answering such questions, when something really either looks stupid on a person, or does not suit him at all.

According to Bronson and Ashley Meriman, in their book Why Everything We Think About Raising Our Children Is Wrong, provides evidence that children lie to their parents much more often than the latter suggest. The logic of children in this case is as follows: they think that telling their parents what they want to hear will surely make the second happier, and the truth will only make them feel that in some way they did not live up to parental expectations.

How often do people lie?

One applied psychology study found that 60 percent of people lie at least once in a ten-minute conversation with a stranger. On average, the experimental subjects lied almost 3 times per 10 minutes of conversation.

Another 2000 study states that men tell lies six times a day, and women three. The same study highlighted the most common lying words of both sexes: "Nothing happened, I'm fine."

Why shouldn't we lie

The idea of ​​not lying at all is initially controversial. Most people feel more comfortable doing this, moreover, for them, lying is not only acceptable, but also desirable. Yes, perhaps such an attitude is good if lying helps save someone's life, but on the other hand, a reputation for brutal honesty will help win the trust of many who can always count on you.

There are two basic points of view on the question of truthfulness: the positions of utilitarianism and deontology. Pragmatists believe that it is normal to tell lies that benefit the majority of people. Severe deontologists look at the situation from the other side: any lie is a wrong deed.

If we are truly interested in improving ourselves and our work, we must learn to hear the truth, not flattery, even in matters that seem trivial at first glance.

It is important to always remember that we can never fully predict the consequences of lying. It is desirable to always tell the truth and thus create the integrity of the situation.

Telling the truth is everyone's ideal duty, which in the long run will be the best way out even when we don't feel it.
The conclusion suggests itself: the psychology of lies is a complex and, to some extent, incomprehensible thing. But, as far as possible, we should avoid lies, because if it is revealed, it creates a bad impression about a person and it is almost impossible to regain people's trust.

Palamarchuk Irina