How to become more attractive to others: 19 simple social skills

Have you always admired people who everyone likes and attracts others like a magnet? Not everyone is born with this ability. After all, each of us can become more attractive to others by developing a number of social skills. Let's talk about how to make communication productive.

Heidi Grant Halvorson, author of Nobody Understands You and What to Do About It, argues that when people first meet, they try to figure out if they trust a new acquaintance. And if the answer is negative, then you can forget about sympathy. This decision is made almost entirely unconsciously and, as a rule, comes down to how well you manage to balance competence and warmth, cordiality. First of all, you should focus on what the interlocutor says to you. After all, people should feel that they have been heard, even if in the end you cannot help them in any way. The easiest way to do this is to make eye contact and hold it. In addition, it will make you look more competent and smart. Therefore, from today, start looking people in the eye more often.

smile

Do not underestimate this advice, because a smile is an easy and effective way to win over a person. Laughter and jokes also work great. A sense of humor makes you more likeable in the eyes of others.

Show enthusiasm

This is great advice. Along with smiling, show others your enthusiasm. This will not only attract people to you, but also allow them to “infect” them with your ideas. As a result, after parting, they will have a warm feeling and, probably, a desire to start acting in the direction you indicated.

Keep your phone in your pocket or bag

Stick to this rule while talking or while in a meeting or meeting. After all, if you constantly answer messages or even calls, or look at something on your phone, then it will seem to your interlocutors that their words are uninteresting and unimportant to you. As a result, you will lose points in their eyes. So keeping your phone away is a simple yet effective habit that requires no effort or skill.

firm handshake

According to a number of studies, a person makes a decision about whether he likes someone within a few seconds after meeting. A firm, but not too strong or dominant handshake will go a long way towards creating a positive first impression of you.

Address people by name

It is very important. After all, remember how nice it is when someone calls you by name during a greeting or conversation. If you find it difficult to remember who's name is, then you can try using some strategies. So, for example, try to come up with an image or rhyme that you associate with a particular name and person.

Listen more

You don't have to talk all the time. Try to listen more to your interlocutor. Thanks to this, he will think that his ideas are interesting to you, and this, in turn, will favorably affect his opinion of you.

Don't just listen, do it actively!

This is necessary to enhance the effect. Active listening involves four steps: capturing information, clarification or questions, evaluation of what was heard, and feedback.

Know how to take a compliment

As a rule, people are shy in such circumstances, so as not to look selfish. However, if someone praises you, don't mutter something like, "Thank you, you too." Instead, it's better to thank for the compliment and say that you really enjoyed hearing it.

A little flattery won't hurt

It's hard to start feeling bad about someone who says nice things about you. However, the main thing here is not to cross the border. After all, as soon as flattery ceases to look authentic, it begins to annoy.

If you interrupt someone, ask them to continue talking.

Surely each of you has been in a situation where, while you were telling a story, you were interrupted. Then it was already inconvenient for you to continue, since you were not sure that it would be interesting to someone. And for sure you would react extremely positively to a person who would ask you to continue your fascinating story.

Express regret

Of course, this will always be relevant if something went wrong due to your actions. However, expressing regret is also useful if you want to win over a person. This approach really works! So, express regret about what happened to your interlocutor. By doing this, you kind of put yourself in his place, which will allow you to build an emotional connection.

Skip the conversation about nothing

Instead of wasting time asking polite questions about the weather, try to move on to the things that really interest you. Especially if you want to build friendly relations with the interlocutor. Even if your interests do not coincide on many issues, you will be able to get to know the other person better and open up to him yourself.

Be mindful of posture

If you slouch or are in a closed position, then others may regard this as apathy and inaccessibility. To avoid such a negative impression, you should always sit straight. This way you will look confident in the eyes of other people.

Be true to your word

It is very important to take responsibility for your mistakes and keep all the promises you make. In this case, the people around you will know you as a man of your word, which will have an extremely positive effect on your reputation in their eyes.

Don't Complain

Nobody likes to be in the company of pessimists and people who constantly talk about their problems. Psychologists often call them energy vampires, because they literally suck the energy out of other people. Therefore, if you catch yourself on the fact that you started to complain, then before it's too late, change the subject of the conversation.

Help everyone feel involved in the conversation

Nobody likes to be ignored in a group. If you can make everyone feel involved in the conversation, then you will win their attention and respect. Therefore, if you notice that someone from the group is trying to say something, but cannot find the right moment, then help him.

Don't jump to conclusions

Sometimes we are in a hurry to make an impression about a person. And very often it turns out to be wrong. However, if you have already concluded that you do not like a particular person, then this may negatively refuse to communicate with him. So don't be quick to judge.

End the conversation right

Your last words can leave a lasting impression on the interlocutor, so it is important not to make a mistake here. So, ideally, when parting, you can say one of the following phrases: “It was very nice to meet you!”, “I hope you have a great rest of the day!” or “I will remember our conversation!”. It is very simple to do this, and it is impossible to overestimate the value of such expressions.