Why can't you cry often? Rivers of pain. Why do you want to cry for no reason Explain to me why you are crying now

Something bad, tragic happens in life and a deadly longing begins. The world ceases to be colorful and nothing pleases. I constantly want to cry, despondency accompanies literally everywhere. Sometimes you even lose control of yourself. You ride the bus and cry, you sit at your workplace and cry, in the evening you fall asleep and cry. Constant crying for no reason becomes an obsessive state. It irritates others, it exhausts one's own nerves. What to do if you constantly cry? In this matter, one cannot do without the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.

Why does a person cry all the time? What are the psychological causes of tears?
Why do constant tears lead to bad states: am I nervous, anxious, panicking?
How to stop crying all the time?

In order to figure out exactly what to do if you constantly cry, you need to understand what tears are. After all, it only seems that tearfulness is something childish, unpretentious, not essential. In fact, tears have a huge psychological background. They can be both a powerful tool for relieving stress, and, conversely, drive even more stress.

Why is the person crying?

Tears can be called one of the first psychological aid tools. Tears can calm and relax, relieve stress.

During a period of severe mental anxiety, anyone can burst into tears. But there are people who cry more than others, and all because they have a more subtle, sensual mental organization. These are always the owners of the visual vector (the term is taken from the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, more about the system of vectors can be found in this article).

The eyes are a very sensitive area of ​​the viewer, literally erogenous. He sees with his eyes more than others, notices the smallest details that elude others. Through the eyes, he is able to understand the mood of a person by the slightest external differences, to distinguish a huge number of colors, to see the world more colorfully than other people.

A visual person is an emotional type, an extrovert. He takes all his feelings out and expresses them for others. He chats, communicates, laughs, enjoys life, and then, literally instantly, he can fall into sadness - burst into bitter tears. To some extent, this state of emotional swing is displayed by a theatrical mask - where one half is sad, and the other is cheerful. So it is in the soul of the spectator - he himself sometimes does not know when what role is to be played.

Tears in a visual person appear as a reaction to strong emotional excitement. And here the most important thing is from what this excitement comes from. When a visual person sees the pain of others and sympathizes, then his tears bring him a state of relief, and then - peace, forgiveness. When the situation is the opposite, he cries about himself, about his problems, laments about his hard lot, when he feels sorry for himself, then there is an emotional buildup in the opposite direction. Then tears bring suffering and pain, they only increase the bad state of a person. Emotional "resentment" suffocates, it becomes so bitter that you don't know where to get away from it. In this case, constant crying can accompany a long time.

Why are you constantly crying?

The nature of human desire is very simple - none of us wants to suffer, but wants to enjoy. But life is arranged in such a way that from time to time a person is accompanied by bad events: losses, separations, problems. And in general, there is no person in the world who would not encounter the bad side of life: it’s just that everyone has a different one.

Tears are the tool that allows a visual person to survive stress. But if they do not relieve stress, but only slightly ease it, there is a fixation on them. Through tears, a person tries to help himself, relieve tension, but each time they help less and less. Directed into themselves, their effectiveness is constantly decreasing, and in the meantime, the buildups do not decrease. So it turns out that a person begins to cry all the time: one word, one action, one reminder of a tragedy that once happened, causes tears in him that roll down his cheeks, but do not give any relief. Moreover, against the background of such tears, pressure can “jump”, nerves become loose, accompanied by constant anxiety or panic attacks. And tears can't help.

Sometimes severe mental trauma passes and is forgotten, and tears remain with the person. For 10 years now, there has been no mother, how the first unsuccessful love ended, how the husband left, but for some reason my soul is restless. Constantly want to cry.

I cry all the time, what should I do?

In fact, all our reactions to stimuli, and especially to severe stress, are subconscious. A person does something without understanding what and why. Tears are one of the oldest tools used by the visual person in everyday life. It is not surprising that sometimes we subconsciously make a mistake and use this tool not quite right.

If a person is constantly crying and it brings him discomfort, this condition is easy to remove. Simply by understanding yourself and the causes of your tears, feeling the inner desires of your visual vector, where emotions are directed - “inward” or “outward”. Such a skill is given at the training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Here are some short excerpts from lectures on this topic:

When a person begins to understand himself, sees the cause of his tears, then all painful obsessions go away. And tears, designed to relieve stress and compassion, serve just that and nothing more. Gradually, excessive tearfulness disappears, and other states appear instead: peace, joy, happiness, a feeling of gratitude.

It was very difficult for me to survive the grief - the loss of a loved one. Fear of death, phobias, panic attacks did not let me live. I contacted the experts - to no avail. At the very first lesson at the training on the visual vector, I immediately felt relief and understanding of what was happening to me. Love and gratitude - this is what I felt instead of the horror that was before. The training gave me a new attitude. This is a completely different quality of life, a new quality of relationships, new sensations and feelings - POSITIVE!

Ordinary crying from the point of view of psychologists and doctors is a normal, natural phenomenon. However, everything should be in moderation. If it occurs for no reason, then it is strange. When this happens more than once, you should seek qualified help from a specialist. Sometimes tears signal serious problems or malfunctions in the body that will not go away on their own without proper medical treatment.

The first thing you should pay attention to when crying uncontrollably is the emotional state. Problems with the nervous system lead to unexpected emotions, for example, when congratulating the bride, a person may begin to cry. Tears can be so strong that crying will resemble a tantrum.

The main reason for this condition is excessive fatigue. Brain cells get used to working without interruption, which causes malfunctions in the brain. The body is exhausted, this is indicated by constant crying. Additional symptoms of fatigue are:

• irritability
• carelessness
• outbursts of anger
• uncontrolled aggression

It is important to go to bed on time and take occasional vacations, especially for young people. It seems that youth allows you to withstand any load, but this opinion is erroneous. You need to take care of yourself at any age.

The next reason is the temperament of a person. Biologists have divided temperament into four classifications:

• sanguine
• melancholic
• choleric
• phlegmatic person

Temperament affects the perception of a person and his reaction to various life situations.

Melancholics are depressive people, prone to tearfulness more than others. This is further influenced by predisposition, heredity and upbringing.

The third reason is the hormonal state, this is more true for the female population. and menopause women are located to poor health, irritability, mood swings and excessive tearfulness. During menopause, those hormones for which a healthy egg was responsible cease to be produced. Now the body is preparing for aging, other hormones begin to actively enter the bloodstream, which serve as provocateurs of deep euphoria and depression.

When we sob at the end of the movie "Hachiko" or over a cutting board with onions, it seems quite logical. But sometimes tears drip by themselves, for no particular reason. What to do if you cannot contain your emotions and gradually turn into a crybaby, says psychologist Anna Khnykina.

Natalya Kozhina, AiF.ru: Are there tears without a reason, or is there always a reason?

Anna Khnykina: In physiological reactions, and tears belong to them, nothing happens just like that. A person has such a kind of mental protection as rationalization, this is when we explain everything to ourselves. He protects us from pain and suffering. The body does not have such a mechanism, it does not explain anything and lives a separate life from our rationalization, does not obey it. And, since any physiological reaction has its own internal stimulus, tears do not just appear. There is always a reason that provokes them, but sometimes we do not read it.

Why don't we read?

- Here our unconscious works, which puts a kind of block. Tears, in most cases, are a reaction to self-pity, and because it hurts, the brain stands guard and protects against it, it tries to convince us that everything is fine.

- How to understand what exactly provokes tears?

- There is one very good question that you need to ask yourself more often: how do I feel now? Oddly enough, finding the answer to it is quite difficult. Often, to get to the reason why you are crying, you need to remove several layers of your own defenses: avoidance, rationalization, denial, etc. In most cases, shame also prevents getting to the bottom of the matter.

Is it embarrassing for a person to admit to himself in some kind of problem?

- Yes. A problem that causes self-pity, followed by tears, can be covered in mystery, fear, prohibition, etc. Only if you are honest with yourself and not afraid of yourself can you get to the bottom of it.

Actually, what we are talking about refers to the problem called "keep face". Many of us try not to show our true feelings, suppress our emotions, we hide our true selves.

“Sometimes you have to suppress your emotions, right?

“Of course, but we shouldn't get so caught up in it that we hide ourselves from ourselves. When we go to work and there we “wear a uniform” is one thing. Masks are also sometimes needed in order not to let the team down, to complete some task. The main thing is not to overdo it. You should not lose the sense of reality and be yourself. You have to be able to get out of the role in time.

“There are people who are so good at suppressing emotions that they never cry. This is fine?

- Nothing to be proud of. In general, this is an inadequate response. Yes, you can hold back at a certain moment when you want to impress or not scare the children with your tears, but you should not do this all the time. We are all living people. No one is ashamed when blood flows during a cut? Why should we be ashamed of tears?

Even if you restrained yourself at some point, in a healthy situation, a person will cry or mourn later when the moment is right for this. I assure you that each "suffocated" tear is collected in a large lump. And if it lasts for years, then it turns into hysteria with seizures. The longer you restrain yourself and do not give vent to emotions and tears, the stronger this attack will be.

- There is a reverse situation, when people are constantly crying. Is there any norm by which you can understand that you cry too often?

- It's the same as if there was a norm for laughter: how many times a day is it normal to laugh? Nobody will answer this question. There is no such norm.

A mature person is one who, being in contact with reality, adequately responds to it. As we grow older, we learn to manage our feelings, we understand where to restrain ourselves, and where we can give free rein to emotions, i.e. behave appropriately to the situation. Of course, crying for every reason in public is not exactly a mature story. It's normal for three years. You know, when a mother says to her son: "Candy can only be eaten after dinner." And he sobs in response and cannot accept this situation. For an adult, this reaction is not normal. Tears non-stop can be considered an adequate response only when it comes to deep mental trauma, for example, if a person has lost something. Normally, we can cry any time it is an appropriate response to a situation.

- You were pushed into the subway, and you cried. Is this an appropriate response?

“Most of us are unlikely to cry over such a situation. But for some, what is happening may be the so-called "last straw". We do not know what is hidden inside each of us, what has happened in life at the moment. Yes, for someone, a seemingly insignificant irritant can cause a storm inside, but if we find the origins of this storm, then everything will fall into place.

Once again, I note that the problem itself arises for a person at the moment when he does not want to cry, and the tears themselves flow. Small children usually say about this: “I don’t want it, but they themselves.” If there is nothing like this in your life, then everything is in order.

- What can still provoke tears - only self-pity? But what about stress, dissatisfaction with life, etc.?

“Look, intense self-pity arises as a result of the fear of existential threat. A person is afraid that he will not be or will not be accepted as he is. This fear itself may arise from shame. Shame is a reaction to the message “you are not needed, you are not suitable.” In the end, whether we are talking about stress or dissatisfaction with life, their roots lie in the fact that you are chronically unable to cope with something, you are worried because of your helplessness or failure. And this is the shame I mentioned.

Another important point: sometimes tearfulness is provoked by hormonal disruptions, which increase the feeling of helplessness. In this situation, of course, you need to consult an endocrinologist.

Is it possible to cope with the desire to constantly cry on your own?

- Naturally, if you find the true causes of your tears and try to solve the problems that concern you. But, in a situation where you understand that you are not able to conduct such an honest analysis and you need help, you need to ask for it from the same psychologist.

When we are told that someone depression, we represent a person with a bad mood, who sees the world around him in black colors. Indeed, with depression, a person loses interest in life and work. He feels that longing and sadness are squeezing his chest and he constantly wants to cry. Depression is one of the most common women's diseases today.

Unfortunately, to woman suffering from depression People around you are not always understanding. Often they take this disease as a manifestation of laziness, selfishness, improper upbringing and natural pessimism. Meanwhile, depression is a disease that requires the intervention of psychotherapists and is well treatable. The sooner you start treatment for depression, the more likely it is that the disease will not take on severe forms, accompanied by alcohol abuse, drugs, and even the desire to commit suicide.

Remember depression This is a serious illness, not just a bad mood. If you do not recognize and slow it down in time, then it can develop and bring suffering not only to the patient himself, but also to his relatives. To distinguish depression from a bad mood, answer the questions of the test by the American psychotherapist Williams Zang.

1. How often do you feel like crying?
a) I never cry without a serious reason - 1 point; b) I cry only after quarrels - 2 points; c) I cry every time I feel sorry for myself or someone - 3 points; d) I cry all the time, my tears are very close - 4 points.

2. How do you sleep at night?
a) never waking up - 1 point; b) if I get very upset, I can’t sleep - 2 points;
c) I fall asleep and sleep badly - 3 points; d) I constantly suffer from insomnia - 4 points.

3. What is your mood in the morning?
a) I always wake up in a great mood - 1 point; b) bad, only if there are problems - 2 points; c) in the morning I am rarely kind and cheerful - 3 points; d) I can’t even imagine what you can enjoy in the morning - 4 points.

4. Do you feel tired?
a) no, even after work I feel cheerful - 1 point; b) I get tired only after work - 2 points; c) I often feel tired even during the day - 3 points; d) I have no strength since the morning - 4 points.

5. Do you like doing household chores?
a) they bring me joy - 1 point; b) I only like to cook, but washing and cleaning annoy me - 2 points; c) I cook and clean only when I feel like it - 3 points; c) all household chores annoy me - 4 points.

6. How easy is it for you to make decisions?
a) I almost always make decisions - 1 point; b) sometimes I need someone's advice - 2 points; c) I rarely have to make a decision - 3 points; d) why should I make decisions and take responsibility - 4 points.

7. How often do you feel sad and depressed?
a) occasionally - 1 point; b) only when I am left alone (alone) - 2 points; c) often - 3 points; d) almost always - 4 points.

8. Do you consider yourself a happy person?
a) yes - 1 point; b) sometimes I am unhappy - 2 points; c) I often feel unhappy (unhappy) - 3 points; d) I don't know what happiness is - 4 points.

9. Do you like to communicate with loved ones, as before?
a) for me there is no better pleasure than communication with loved ones - 1 point; b) only when I have a mood - 2 points; c) often I don't want to hear anyone - 3 points; d) they all annoy me - 4 points.

In modern society, almost every person living in a metropolis experiences nervous tension, chronic fatigue, and stress. But it also happens that a person cries, it would seem, for no apparent reason. In fact, there is always a reason, it's just hidden in your own consciousness.

Tears - most often, this is an expression of emotions that have been accumulating in the body for a long time. If a person cries without knowing why, it can be caused by the following situations.

Chronic neurosis

You can try very hard to protect your nervous system, but it is unlikely that in life you will be able to predict all possible stresses. But they tend to accumulate. Perhaps you yourself, do not pay attention to how tired your nervous system really is. Crying for no reason is, in fact, a loss of control over emotions. Or the substitution of one emotion for another. For example, you would like to wish happiness to the newlyweds, but instead, you start crying. The nervous system rearranges the right emotions, and you cannot control them. The reason is fatigue.. The brain tries to work at full capacity, but some processes begin to go beyond the usual system. The body needs rest. Pay attention, in addition to causeless tears, you probably have increased irritability, perhaps you have become a little more aggressive.

If the reason lies in fatigue, then you just need a little rest. Take a day off, or arrange an unscheduled vacation. All this seems frivolous, only for the time being. If the body requires it, you must definitely give yourself a rest.

Stress

Another element that can affect your tears. This is a deeper reason, which is best addressed with the help of a good specialist. Perhaps your consciousness hid in itself, once experienced stress. You do not seem to feel anything unusual and new, but your subconscious is sounding the alarm. The human brain is an amazing organ, we are not always able to explain in detail how this or that process occurs. In this case, such a reaction of the body as “crying for no reason” could be caused by some kind of “deja vu”. Perhaps your brain has found something familiar in this or that situation, person, environment. And that's what makes him react in that manner. To make it clearer, in this case, causeless tears are very similar to panic attack. The process happens unconsciously and you cannot resist. But then, you need to find the cause of what is happening. And since the problem is hidden at the subconscious level, it is better to talk with a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Violations in the body

Tears for no reason can be caused by some disturbances in the functioning of the body as a whole. In particular, disturbances in the hormonal background (more often this applies exclusively to women), as well as disturbances in the work of the endocrine system. The production of certain substances in the body greatly affects the emotional background of a person. If this is the problem, then there must be accompanying symptoms. Headache, poor sleep, loss of appetite, or vice versa, increased appetite, change in taste preferences (in food), changes in the physiological parameters of the body. If you pay attention to something of the above, in addition, your emotional background, asks you to cry - consult a doctor. Here the help of a medical specialist is needed. Identifying and solving the problem in time is the key to good health in the future.

How can you calm yourself down?

Often causeless tears attract too much attention and scare you yourself. Therefore, it is important to learn how to soothe yourself on your own. There are several techniques to prevent or stop this flow of emotions.

Talk

Depending on the cause of the failure in the body, moral assistance can be the most effective. To let go of feelings, you need to tell about your problem to someone close to you. You don't have to come up with "why are you crying". Tell it like it is, share your doubts and fears. Most likely, you will feel better, perhaps the symptoms will stop altogether.

self control

The most convenient way is to learn to control this process. You start crying for no reason, so you should calm down just as easily. Watch your breath, try to relax all the muscles of the body. Take a few deep breaths. If the emotional outburst continues, switch your attention to some minor, but problem that needs to be solved. Your brain will react instantly and direct the flow of your thoughts away from the tearful display of emotions.

Medicines

Medical treatment of this disorder should be the last resort.. It is best to consult with your doctor first. But if you absolutely do not have time or money for this, light vitamins that improve the functioning of the brain as a whole, light sedatives, as well as some drugs aimed at balancing the nervous system can help from medicines. It is best to take vitamins, they are useful for the body in any situation. Of the sedatives - motherwort and a solution of valerian. But you don't need to use medication every day. Spend a course in a few days, if nothing changes, consult a doctor!

Psychoanalyst

Do not be afraid to make an appointment with a psychologist or psychoanalyst. You may not even suspect that the reason lies in yourself. And if so, without solving it, this problem can significantly spoil your life. After the first session, most likely, it will become clear what exactly the problem is, and if it's not in the psyche, the specialist will tell you about it. If you are afraid to make an appointment with a psychoanalyst, try going to see a neurologist. A neurologist examines changes in the body in a comprehensive manner, and if something is wrong, he will prescribe appropriate tests.

The simplest reason that can be - blockage or cold of the tear duct. If you do not experience any emotional load when you cry, this may be the whole point. Associated symptoms - discomfort in the inner corner of the eye. In this case, you should consult an ophthalmologist. The doctor will either restore the lacrimal canal with his own hand, or prescribe the appropriate drugs.