Quotes with the word "classmate. From session to session, students live happily: a selection of statuses about the session Statuses about students and the session
Student years are considered the best years in a person's life. Apart from the boring classes, uninteresting lectures, and incomprehensible homework, everything at the university was fun. Do you remember your first student love? And the first couple in your life? What was the name of your favorite teacher? Our statuses will help you plunge into this unique atmosphere again. At the same time, there will be an occasion to write to a former classmate with whom, perhaps, a relationship did not work out at one time. Post any status about student life on your social network page and tag all your classmates. There will be an occasion for a meeting where you can, by the way, read our statuses and remember the fun moments from university life.
The closer the exam, the louder the students greet the teacher on the street.
A student is like a dog... His eyes are smart, but he can't say anything.
Anyone who has not been a student will not understand. How you want sex, how you want to sleep. How you want to preda, send the fuck. Go home and don't care.
It's certainly not news that you sleep at lectures, but it's too much to come in pajamas!
Teacher's question on a pair: Where does the construction of a graph of a function begin ?? - A shout from the audience: "Suck!!!" - Teacher: That's right, from the axis!
cool status for the student: The less the student extracts from the lectures, the more - from the parent's wallet.
Stop sending notes! It's an exam! - Excuse me, professor, we're playing preference... - Ah, well then, excuse me...
Students are the part of the population that has the most expensive phones, but who never have money in their account.
An old student tradition: every year my friends and I go to the session. Well, let's hang out there...
The depth of the neckline of the dress of a student who came to take an exam is inversely proportional to the depth of her knowledge.
Sitting behind bars, in a hostel raw, fed in captivity, a young student.
A student who does not receive a scholarship is easily recognized by a new foreign car.
Student, do not throw garbage out the window: then children find it and inflate it.
Students are strange animals... While normal animals have asshole tails, they have asshole tails.
When a student looks at his watch, it's still normal... It's not normal when he puts the watch to his ear...
The session is a sudden interest of students in books, a frantic search for a library card, which no one has seen since the last session
Cool status for a student: At the end of the thesis: "Based on the above downloaded" ...
Student Petrov, having learned the status of friends in contact, passed the philosophy perfectly
I sit at the lecture Bowing my head. I have an erection like a horse
At what stage is your report now? - At the stage of "your mother, for sure, another report !!"
If a student does not want to study, then the recruiting office is not working well.
Hello mom, I have 19 pairs today in the morning.
Only a real student can write a 5-page review of a book that they never even picked up.
A kind caretaker is the main reason for the pregnancy of girls in the hostel.
Soon a new item will appear in the position of "class leader" ... "Disperse everyone from the agent after eleven, sleep" ..)
That's why you can increase your penis, increase your breasts, but you can't increase the holidays no matter how hard you try!
IN primary school: "The teacher knows my name)))" in Univer: "Fuck, he knows my name!"
Our motto is invincible - we do not teach, but we develop...
Recently, instead of preparing for exams, students have been searching the Internet for cool statuses about the session, exams and about what tomorrow will be
f**k.
Only such a unique being as a student can spend half a year in order to prepare for passing any exam in one night with the help of a thin manual.
- They ask the student: “Did you prepare anything for the upcoming exam? - Certainly! Faith, hope and credit :)”
The student does not know the norms of decency, decently alien to him, and as males from the genus Homo sapiens he can only get drunk. 🙂
Best Status:
Understanding that you are already a student comes when a first-grader brother asks you to solve a problem, and you see its solution through an integral.
At the exam: - Well, what will you answer or not? - Comrade student, stop explaining! Pull the ticket. - And I have a ticket!
If you decide to suppress the suddenly surging student movement, then think about it! Perhaps you drive the disease inside? Don't be afraid to face the truth.
Instead of preparing for tomorrow's tests, I read this text.
In the first year, it is difficult to study for the first few years, but then it will be easier!
I draw the word "ENOUGH" in the dean's office with Vaseline.
Only our student may not know the schedule, but know exactly when there are no classes!)
Ambition is when you go to the exam, you think that you know 2, and when they put 4, you wonder why not 5?
Students are strange animals... While normal animals have asshole tails, they have asshole tails.
Student joke: Once upon a time there were three pigs: nyuf-nuf, naf-naf and the head of the cafe ...
Student toast to parents: “To those who think we study here!”
Give a student a foothold and he will fall asleep.)
During the session, the student becomes a superhuman. He stops eating, sleeping, drinking liquids that do not contain alcohol and, like a supercomputer, is able to download an unreal amount of information into himself.
nothing makes a student's face look as meaningless as getting a ticket for an exam!))
A distinctive feature of the student: I didn’t know, but I remembered!))
A student cannot marry. He will only deal with his wife - he will have tails. He will only study - horns will appear. And he will do both ... he will drop his hooves!)
Love the teacher, for the dog is man's best friend!
I'll get up early in the morning, drink a cup of mercury and go to die in a fucking institute 🙂
Conscience is the wealth of a person, and we, students, are poor people .. =)
Nonsense at the institute develops hearing, vigilance and peripheral vision)))
I won't set an alarm. Let the Lord decide whether to go to the first couple or not.
Tired students are sleeping, books are sleeping... Evil teachers with credits are waiting for the guys... A harmful lecturer goes to bed so that we can dream at night... Close your eyes - FOR-BE-WAI!
The session is the time when the insight comes that “after all, it was possible to study normally throughout the year”! ..
Knowledge is not transmitted sexually, but it is quite possible to earn an assessment!
session - word male. Because no woman could fuck so many people!
The session is a sudden interest of students in books, a frantic search for a library card, which no one has seen since the last session.
A session is when a teacher learns a lot about his subject from students who “didn’t finish their studies a little”.
Pray, teacher, for the day of judgment will come, and may your kingdom perish, and may you be rewarded for our torment ... The Gospel from the Student, verse five ...
The session is the time when the student needs to take on the head… the upper head…
Study, study and study again, because you still won’t find a job.
The student has 2 states: Eating and sleeping. But there is also a third - session: when not to eat and not to sleep.
The academic year, like pregnancy - lasts 9 months, and starts to feel sick from the 2nd week ...
An old student tradition: every year my friends and I go to the session. Well, let's go there ... ((
If you want to study - lie down, sleep and everything will pass.))
The teacher on the pair: “In our time, all sorts of graffiti were not painted on the walls of houses!” Voice from the back: “Well, of course, dinosaurs couldn’t write!” 🙂
The girl is a student, a sweet candy ... At the lecture, a stool stuck to her ass.
Only our student may not recognize the teacher who passed the exam yesterday.
At the institute, 5 years flew by, like 5 minutes. I had enough patience, now let others shake!
The depth of the neckline of the dress of a student who came to take an exam is inversely proportional to the depth of her knowledge.
We drink in different doses. We fall asleep in different positions. We remember different moments. It's all called the word "students"!
It's been a month now...
A student is always short of one night to pass the exam.
The student does not understand at first, and then gets used to it.
If the student said “didn’t take”, then he won’t return it.
New super hero "Man - student". He manages to accomplish as many feats in January as he should have done in September, October, November and December.
So let's drink to those who walk, to those who don't know anything and who give up the session for a boom!
There were 38 people in attendance today. There were 52 people on the teacher's sheet, which was let through the rows where those present were enrolled. Do students have a conscience?
A frightened student at the exam, holding a piece of paper with a written answer: - P-p-professor, but ... and scratching? Professor sarcastically: - Well, scratch, if it helps ...
Sits behind bars in a hostel damp ... Raised in captivity ... A young student ...
This is how you study, study, and then you learn from conflictology that you are a neurotic with suicidal tendencies, experiencing an existential crisis ...
If somewhere noise and fight. If there are bottles. If the women screamed. So the students are drinking there.
- Do you know that unscrupulous cockroaches have students in the room?
Oh, how the boys at the university congratulated us today. A song with a guitar, champagne with fireworks. And, since we have few boys, they each gave us a man. Mm.)
Night. Hung up for the toilet. I turned off the light, the screen, so as not to wake my mother. I open the door: "Oh-oh." Damn, speakers...
If we are expelled from the university, then we will hand over the bottles and enter the paid department!
“Student, are you really that smart?” - Who am I? - Well, not me.
The most beautiful phrase, from the lips of a teacher, for a student: “Carry a record book”!
Where are the best parties? The teachers in the back room!
The inscription on the desk in the student auditorium: “There are 30 minutes left before the break, 20 minutes, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 3 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute, damn it ... No break!”
Russian students will first do their business, and then they will study.
Oh great student! Do not snore at lectures, for you will wake up your neighbor who is sleeping next to you, and when he wakes up, he will not rejoice.
Reflections of a hungry student: “To eat this in a hostel for free?” Water. Electricity. Neighbours.
Only our student can come to class sober and leave drunk.
Ment asks a student who has studied for documents. “That's just a pass to the university. Are there prohibited items? - In the University?
Graduated - this is half a year of torment of the brain and 15 minutes of shame ...
There are no hungry students! There are only those who are always hungry...
Student tea. Without welding. Sugarless.
Professor: "Are you afraid of my questions?" Student: "No, I'm afraid of my answers."
A student is a unique being who takes half a year to learn any material overnight.
Check the grade for your submitted work without leaving the lecturer. If you don't like the grade, ask for a better grade or census work. And remember: the student is always right!
Popular sign: if there are a lot of students near the ATM, it means either a scholarship has arrived or a session has begun.)
How quickly time flies: I didn’t have time to wake up, but I was already late for a couple ...
Looking for a woman who can cook. About me: a hungry student.
Hungry students are lying and dreaming: - What, guys, let's get a pig. Meat, fat will be ... - What are you? Dirty, stink! Nothing, she'll get used to it...
The thought of every schoolchild: “Why do we study for nine months, and rest for only three, and not vice versa?”
Students always lack one day to prepare for the exam!
It is normal for students to look at their watches. It's not normal when they start bringing them to their ear.
Who was not a student. So do not understand. How you want a s*x, how you want to sleep. How do you want the teacher, fuck send. Go home and don't give a damn!
A student walks, swings, sighs on the go. Here the session ends and I go into a binge ...
Teacher: "What is your last name?" Student: Ivanov. (Smiling). "What are you smiling at?" the professor asks. I'm glad I answered the first question well.
Student's life: morning, feet, slippers, faucet, feet, door, walk in the morning, beer, vodka 2 buckets, noise, head, fall, lie down, hands, feet, house, bed, bad, night, dark, dope, morning , feet, slippers, crane… 🙂
Students are people balancing between the army and higher education.
I woke up, made my bed, shaved, washed, had breakfast, got ready to study, and then I thought: “What the hell am I doing?”, undressed and went to bed, it’s good to be a student.
Exam in criminal law. Can you tell me what cheating is? “It will happen, professor, if you fail me. – How, explain. “According to the criminal code, deceit is committed by one who, using the ignorance of another person, causes damage to this other person.
Teacher: "What is your last name?" Student: "Ivanov" (smiles). "What are you smiling at?" the professor asks. I'm glad I answered the first question well.
All students with our professional holiday! Today we can do everything!
The latest method for developing the memory of history students. Up to date before the session. "Group for the Emancipation of Labor": Plekhanov, Ignatiev, Zasulich, Deutz, Axelrod. Read only capital letters group members. It's impossible not to remember!
The student, going up to his house on the 9th floor, believed to the last that it smelled of chicken from his apartment.
For the sake of evaluation, the student goes to any lengths! Even to class!
Yet the most strange and unusual animals are ... Students! All normal animals grow their tails out of their asses, but students' asses grow out of their tails.
At the university, having nothing to do, I go to ICQ to somehow diversify a boring couple ...
Why can't a student get married? Because if he takes care of his wife, then he will have tails. And if he deals with tails, then he will have horns. And if he takes care of both his wife and his studies, he will throw back his hooves.
A student comes to hand over the work and says to the teacher: “Excuse me, I have a fume”. And he gives him: “Yes, my wife also fed me cutlets with garlic.”
If you sit for forty minutes, staring blankly at a blank page in a Word, then you are writing a diploma.
Passed! For three. At first I thought, to hand over five, and then I decided, - but what for? I’ll rent it better for 3, and I’ll go for the rest of the money, I’ll drink beer!
Student years are a wonderful time that gives a lot of discoveries, fun and allows you to make new friends. Student - unique person who can not eat, not sleep, skip couples, and then take it, and learn everything in a couple of nights. Although, there are jokes about this, that no matter how much a student studies and no matter how he prepares for exams, one night is still not enough for him to learn everything.
Student and session are inseparable concepts. But luck often smiles at students and helps them get the right ticket. During their studies, student people often complain about how hard it is for them to live, because they constantly lack scholarships and twice a year for a couple of weeks they have to become a superman. But as soon as they say goodbye to the university, they understand what it was best time in life. Appreciate your student years, because they will fly by so quickly, and, alas, they will not return back.
We bring to your attention a selection of quotes and aphorisms about students. Put them in your statuses and remember that a student is not a vocation, but a state of mind!
Who was not a student
So do not understand:
How you want to eat!
How you want to sleep!
A student is a person who always wants to sleep and eat.
“Good!” said the professor and ruined the student's red diploma.
Better than good, can only be excellent!
Conscience is wealth, and students, as you know, are poor people.
If students have the audacity not to go to lectures, then there is no conscience to ask for a test.
Tired students are sleeping, books are sleeping ... Evil teachers with credits are waiting for the guys ... A harmful lecturer goes to bed so that we can dream at night ... Close your eyes, Za-bee-wai ...)))
Students perceive couples as a place where you can sleep ...)
“And if in a whisper? ” - 95% of students thought when they learned about Google voice search!
During a test or exam, students are visited by many brilliant thoughts, but the necessary information does not come to mind ...
Students and money are compatible things, but rarely and not for long.
Student people are usually in poverty ...
A student is like a dog ... Eyes are smart, but he can’t say anything.
Only dogs are devoted to their owners, but students are not to study ...)
A student in the 1st year - at least they would not be expelled! On 2 - now they probably won't kick me out. At 3 - now they definitely won’t be kicked out! On 4 - let them just try! On 5 - yes, I myself will expel anyone you want!
The first 2 years the student works in his own name, the rest - the name works for the student!
The student counts everything else for a long time or does not count at all ...
We drink in different doses. We fall asleep in different positions. We remember different moments. It's all called the word "students"!
Students can sleep as they like: on the go, in class, even during the exam they can fall asleep
The student does not understand at first, and then gets used to it.
It's only sad when such students start teaching or treating people...
About doctors
Learning to be a doctor means learning to be human!
The profession of a doctor is one of the noblest!
A good student is a good doctor, a bad student is the Chief Physician!!!
Twins are always lucky...
It is enough to look through a textbook on medicine, for example practical course surgery to understand whether you are a doctor or not a doctor.
If you do not faint from the illustrations and understand the meaning of at least 2/3 of the words, then you can become a doctor ...)
And the diagnosis was incorrect, and the prescription was inaccurate.
Medical students should study well, then they should treat people ...
In the operating room:
Doctor, it hurts!
- Quiet! We have an exam!!
If a medical student didn't faint during surgery, he has a future...)))
Medical students: "... you cut the meat, put it in a pan, fry it, somewhere between the second and third degrees of burns, you add vegetables to it..."
Medical thinking should be manifested even in everyday life!)))
“Doctor, I just found out I'm going to be operated on by a trainee.
Yes, surgery tomorrow.
- So it will kill ...
- And we will give him a bad mark for the exam ...)
Experience comes only with practice, you have to learn from someone ...)))
It is only the medical students of our group who can conduct a survey of the patient, and only after leaving the ward remember that they forgot to ask for the name.
And what hurts him, at least you didn’t forget to ask?)))
There is an artery in me that completely characterizes me - the same sleepy one.
There is such an artery in every person!
Preparing for an exam in pharmacology ... I have never wanted to clean, wash, bake pies, in general, anything, just not to teach ...
The student is ready for anything, just not to take exams at the medical faculty ...)
A selection of funny quotes
After what uni did to my brain, they should marry it.
Just pay him off first for the knowledge he gave you...)
Peace is peace! Student - beer!
You will not find a student who did not drink beer during the day with fire ...
A constantly cheating student learns from the mistakes of others.
You can't learn from someone else's mistakes as much as you learn from your own.
Students who failed the exam for the third time are asked to remove the stable expression “Live and learn” from the lexicon.
Do they think they won't have to study at work?)
The biggest student lie is the "Literature List".
In this list, students usually insert everything that is relevant to the topic, and not everything that they used.
If you want to lose weight - go to the students.
No gym helps to lose weight like a session.
The condom in the pocket of an excellent student Sidorov recently celebrated its third anniversary.
Conscientious study is good, but you should not forget about your personal life!
In our country, most people after graduating from a university do not work according to their specialization, a diploma, in fact, is a certificate confirming that its owner is not a fool.
This is where the question arises, why do you need a diploma at all?))
The hammer and sickle are the symbols of the students... Mow and hammer... In the dean's office I draw the word "enough" with chalk...
Our motto is invincible - we do not teach, but we develop ...
Soon a new item will appear in the position of “class leader” ... “Disperse everyone to sleep after eleven ..)
Didn't record the lecture - saved the tree.
A kind caretaker is the main reason for the pregnancy of girls in the hostel.
You can't warm your ass without a diploma :)
Only a real student can write a 5-page review of a book that they never even picked up.
Why are there lessons at school, but couples at the institute? - Because the students study, and the students take a steam bath.
A distinctive feature of the student's memory on the exam: did not know, but remembered.
If a student does not want to study, then the recruiting office is not working well.
The student has only one thought! — How is one? What about a bite?
At what stage is your report now? - At the stage of "your mother, for sure, another report!"
European students are saving up for education. Ours - for the session ..
Student Petrov, having learned the status of friends in contact, passed the philosophy perfectly
The new superhero “Man-student” - he manages to accomplish as many feats in January as he should have done in September, October, November and December.
Cool status about a student: At the end of the thesis: “Based on the above downloaded” ...
Dear students! Remember that money is everything! Even complex differential equations
Student, do not throw garbage out the window: then children find it and inflate it.
Days are counted before exams, scholarships are counted after exams, and students are counted in the spring.
The session is a sudden interest of students in books, a frantic search for a library card, which no one has seen since the last session ...
It turns out that in the word extramural a soft sign is written, the test word is money
Students are strange animals... While normal animals have asshole tails, they have asshole tails.
The session has come ... Students reached for copiers ...
A student who does not receive a scholarship is easily recognized by a new foreign car.
Scholarships for students have grown - wait for an increase in income from brewing companies ...)))
Sitting behind bars, in a hostel raw, fed in captivity, a young student.
Cool status for a student: A student is a lizard, the old tail did not have time to fall off, as a new one appeared)))
The depth of the neckline of the dress of a student who came to take an exam is inversely proportional to the depth of her knowledge.
During the session - a thousand books and one night 🙂
Students are the part of the population that has the most expensive phones, but who never have money in their account.
In the dean's office, I draw the word "enough" with chalk ...
The less the student extracts from the lectures, the more from the parent's wallet.
Tomorrow is the exam, and I'm still not in one eye ...
Tired students are sleeping, books are sleeping... Evil teachers with credits are waiting for the guys... A harmful lecturer goes to bed so that we can dream at night... Close your eyes, Za-be-wai...
Do not fall asleep at night, do not wake up in the morning - session.
At the exam, student Sidorov unexpectedly pulled out a military ID.
Don't know what to text a girl? Write her a diploma!
Who was a student, he saw youth ... Who was a soldier, he saw life ....
Well, why a couple of weeks before the exam, the granite of science is harder than ever.
1st year - nerds, 2nd year - students, 3rd year - don't care, 4th year - gone with the wind
Loneliness is when the word "couple" is associated only with study ...
European students are saving up for education. Ours - for the session ...
The student does not understand at first, and then gets used to it.
… March, April, May, Pi..ets, July, August…
A student walks, swings, sighs on the go. Here the session ends and I go on a binge ...
The hammer and sickle are the symbols of the students... Mow and hammer...
As long as there are dumplings and mayonnaise in this universe, Russian students invincible.
Learning is light, in its rays more than one student withered
I will get up early in the morning, I will drink a cup of mercury. And I'm going to die in this institute!
Who goes to visit in the morning that .. skips couples!
Conscience is now expensive, and we are students - poor people ...
Each lecturer in the ass on the vector.
It is worth giving a student a foothold - and he will fall asleep!
What you do not understand in the lecture, you will understand in the exam.
If there really is a hell, then it looks like a dean's office ...
The hardest thing about writing a modern dissertation is not putting emojis after every good thought.
I have study experience, work experience, I want more salary experience ...
And whoever goes to bed late and wakes up early is just a crazy bird. Conclusion: students are crazy birds.
Who gets up early, they say: “Sit down! the couple is not finished yet!
