How to deal with rude people. Three tactics of behavior with impudent people. A sad and doomed victim

Pay attention to their conversations. Don't eavesdrop, but when they speak to you or those around you, listen carefully. Do they only talk about themselves? Do they get angry or annoyed when they stop being the center of attention? These are quite serious signs of arrogance.

• Arrogance and self-satisfaction often simply indicate a lack of life experience and a concern that those who have more of it "have advantages over them." Instead of learning more, asking questions, and learning (which they perceive as a weakness), arrogant people usually draw general conclusions from their limited experience and try to impose their narrow point of view on everyone else.
• Out of envy of your accomplishments or lifestyle, some may flaunt their superiority over you in what they think they are better at or because of what they have and you don't.
• Brazen people have a strong need to look good. If you make them look bad - even the slightest remark - their reaction is usually very aggressive. For example, if you question (or they think you question) their appearance, intelligence, athletic ability, or something else related to their image.

Challenge their view of the world. Don't be aggressive - just be skeptical and inquisitive. If it upsets them, try to gauge the strength of their anger. If it's minimal, they've just had a lousy day. But if they're furious, they feel like you're questioning their "ideal little world." Namely, the presence of such determines arrogance and arrogance.

• At one point or another, people realize that the world does not revolve around them. Insolent people counter this in their own way: they create an atmosphere that revolves around them and get angry if they are reminded of reality.
• Obscurity scares arrogant people, because it suggests imperfection, change, or lack of confidence (realities that we fight as best we can). That is, instead of accepting that our world is unpredictable and sometimes something does not happen the way we want it, an arrogant person tries to control everyone and everything. And this, in turn, is an impossible mission.
• Reality can hurt; therefore, insolent people are not very prone to reflection and introspection, thus they do not notice their own flaws. They may also appropriate the fruits of other people's achievements instead of taking into account the contributions of other people and circumstances.

Find out the value of their friendship. No need to stick your nose in other people's affairs or gossip, but if one day they are inseparable friends with someone, and the next day they already hate each other, this is a sign that they have many friends before the first trouble. It is also a sign of arrogance and arrogance, because it is difficult to be a good friend to someone who is fixated on himself. Arrogant people have a need to look good, and an effective way to achieve this is self-sufficiency. A good friend is always obliged to help, so they do not tolerate the thought of a reliable friendship.

• Oddly enough, insolent people often cannot understand why they do not have reliable and ready to support friends.

How do they treat those who are not like them? In other words, how do they treat people of other backgrounds, cultural backgrounds, or those who see the world differently? If the attitude is essentially negative, then they are either indifferent to others, or tend to avoid those who oppose their illusory world, which is focused exclusively on them. This can be determined by the general features of their personality and by the people with whom they communicate.

• Many arrogant people seriously believe that there is only one correct opinion, and this opinion is their own. This is the defense mechanism of their false notions or illusory world.

What is the essence of their personality? Pay attention to how they act, talk and use their social status. Do they have "coolness" in its generally accepted sense? Maybe they are talkative? Do they act like they own everything or like "a player with no chance of winning?" Are they very worried about their own image?

• Many insolent people have a fake charm that no one seems to be able to figure out. But insolent people are usually just happy to show their hard-hitting side to those they don't like.
• When they act violently, their friends usually ignore it or simply do nothing to stop it. They are afraid that this may anger their so-called "friend".

Mention those who, how much you you know, I like too. Not to start a conflict, but to assess their rivals, irritants and hostility. If their censure is justified and moderate, most likely they cannot be called insolent. If they immediately demonstrate harshness of judgment, feel free to classify them as an arrogant type.

• For the most part, insolent people perceive people they don't like as a threat to their ideal world. The more they hate someone, the more dangerous that person is to their land of illusion. And, in turn, the greater the threat, the stronger the criticism.

Ask around to find out what they have to say about you. If you hear bad things about yourself, maybe they just don't like you. If they smile in your face but say nasty things behind your back like it's their favorite hobby, they probably have pride issues.

• Insolent people usually subconsciously know that they don't have really good friends. They make up for "quality quantity", creating impression that they have many friends. So they just insult their "trophy" friends when they don't see it.

Be responsive. Do not judge strictly insolent people, or you risk getting the same negative views on the world as they do. Arrogant people often try to hide their weaknesses and fears. Much of the need for a strong and undeniable self-presentation comes from deep-seated pain. Obviously, you should also not succumb to their assurances of superiority over you. Be principled and detached. But you can make contact and see sincere goodness in them, praise real virtues, and not imaginary talents. Sometimes, if you get past the roughness, you can set the person free and let him be himself, not block himself so violently.

• Huge vulnerability can hide behind arrogance. This leads to overcompensation aimed at suppressing vulnerability. For example, if an insolent person grew up poor but later became rich, he or she becomes a snob about everything they can afford, because they cover up the fear of poverty from the past.

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Insolence is a quality of a person's character, a tendency to act without moral, moral or legal grounds.

Manifestation of Insolence

Insolence in the character of a person manifests itself in the form of disregard for public opinion, established norms, if this interferes with the path to the Goal. Usually such people are called insolent. An insolent person can take what does not belong to him without a hint of embarrassment.
An impudent person considers his interests more important than yours, he will not wait, give way to ladies, lisp with children or pay tribute to age. He needs to receive - so he will receive, despite the fact that the interests of others will suffer.
Even if someone starts to resent, he will not change his tactics and will remain silent or begin to respond rudely. But he will not give up his actions. Absence of shame. He doesn't care what you think. Making unreasonable demands, excessive perseverance. The insolent person interferes in other people's affairs, and can even impose his point of view.

Artificial Insolence

Insolence is a means of forcibly raising one's own dignity by artificially devaluing the people around.
You can not mix impudence with rudeness, impudence, insolence, impudence and rudeness. This is not the same as being rude, impudent or boorish. To reach the state Material Happiness property of character - Insolence is extremely important!

However, Insolence in this case is good in moderation. If it is based on greed, envy, anger and the desire to subordinate everyone to your whims, then this is another quality of character - boundless Insolence and Rudeness. Then it is simply absurd to expect any favors from her.

Insolence is always repelled by selfishness

Insolence and courage complement each other, but if courage is a sign of nobility, then arrogance is a sign of youth. However, arrogance without courage does not exist.

Insolence is indifferent to the assessments of the surrounding world. If it comes from a riot of evil power and fermentation of the spirit, then it is capable of shocking people not in order to humiliate them, but simply because of the complete disregard for the significance of someone else's opinion.

When a person's behavior does not comply with social regulations, when he does not behave like everyone else, then this person is Insolent.

In order to resist the dictates of the Middle Cattle of society and behave without defiance, independence of judgment, independence and a certain courage are needed.

Such claims to personal freedom in other people cause Envy. Most of us want to be arrogant in the good sense of the word, self-sufficient and courageous. No one wants to be impudent, boorish and rude.

There is such a thing as Positive Insolent

Becoming a positive insolent is the dream of many people, but often, impudence becomes a derivative of fear.

The weak is afraid of losing a loved one, a job, some benefits. The cure for fear is arrogance for him. Hidden fear is a frequent manifestation of Insolence. This is a very unpleasant state for our ego.

On the scale "Impudence - modesty" the question is always solved - how much a person respects other people. If you are not destined to die of modesty, then arrogance is the manifested side in you. Do not be upset, in the world of dominating Egoism, arrogance in moderation is a positive quality.

Excessive modesty is an infringement of oneself and others

And remember that Immeasurable arrogance attracts troubles and difficulties. Society calls impudence any striving for independence. Once upon a time it was right to remain modest - many remember Soviet films that brought up modesty and obedience in children. But of course, nothing stands still. Times change, customs change. Standing up for your opinion, being unbending in your rules is one thing, but being arrogant is quite another. And although everyone has a clear idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat impudence is, it is still not easy to define this concept.

The degradation of society in the absence of impudence

Imagine that arrogance is dead. All people live a rigid, orderly life. Nobody is being provocative.
Society calls impudence any striving for independence. Insolence, like some other traits of a person's character, can be called the progress of mankind.
Everything is quiet and decent. Nobody stands out. Technological progress has stopped. The world is arranged in such a way that if there is no development, degradation begins, if there is no progress, regression begins. The world freezes in stillness. Therefore, Insolence can be called as - Life-giving arrogance.

Scale of values ​​andextreme manifestations: > >

Truthfulness of the installation Insolence is the second happiness

Positive Audacity is based on powerful self-confidence and Ambition.
Most often, we do not recognize our inner impudence, we reject it and do not admit even to ourselves in its existence.

From time to time it is useful to let your repressed self go for a walk in the form of confidence. This is how we reveal our hidden secret side of personality.

When we meet an insolent person, we learn to understand ourselves better and realize how to be ourselves. The impudence of others contributes to our personal growth.

Impunity pushes impudence to degenerate into rudeness. A self-confident person will not prove anything, make excuses and resent. He loves and appreciates himself, living in harmony with the outside world. Immeasurable arrogance attracts trouble and difficulties.

Insolence is selective

Insolence respectfully bows its head before love, strength and respect and straightens its shoulders when faced with weakness and fear, harmonizes the world. Insolence is ruthless to greedy, simple people - honor and respect.

Often, arrogance becomes a derivative of fear. The weak is afraid of losing a loved one, a job, some benefits. The cure for fear is arrogance for him.
Insolence solves problems, allows you to get what you want in an easier way.

Insolence, attempts by rudeness to discourage the desire to interfere with him.
It turns out that impudence is the second happiness? Remember - it is easier, faster, with less losses to achieve some goals.

But is it worth losing your conscience, overstepping the bounds of decency, using impudence on the way to what you want - it's up to you!

Insolence is something like shamelessness and impudent self-confident impudence, which borders on rudeness. Sometimes arrogance has a positive connotation when the emphasis is on confidence in the actions taken, and not on their arrogance. Our self-doubt is often contrasted with such "positive" arrogance. In the speech was about self-doubt, fear of decisive action and changes in life. In this vein, overcoming fear is not even arrogance, but rather such an awareness of what is happening when it becomes clear that fears are groundless and do not make sense. There is no longer any opposition to this. However, a modern “self-confident” person often gets stuck precisely between the opposing “arrogance” and “uncertainty” in his abilities, finding himself either on one pole of this antagonism, or on the other. Let's try to understand the essence of these phenomena.

Take, for example, such an everyday situation when a checkpoint is set up at the entrance to work. Let's say that several times in the past you have already forgotten your pass, and the guard, violating the charter, let you through because he "entered into your position", because he knows that you really work here. You are almost used to the loyalty of the local security service. But now, a new guard has recently appeared, arrogant, strict in face and unfriendly. And now, once again absent-mindedness happened to you. The pass was left at home, you look at the guard with a smile, apologize, but he waves his head, they say, and there can be no question! They have their own rules! Flirting with the guard does not lead to anything. He does not care that you have to return home for a pass, and then write an "explanatory letter". And at this time, a completely “adequate” feeling of irritation may arise. What is really going on? Is it really justified in this situation, irritation at the "arrogance"?

In such situations, in order to get rid of a painful reaction, it is necessary to clearly understand what guides its participants. As a rule, it is enough to understand the cause of the external stimulus. If the apparent reason is the behavior of the guard, then it is necessary to analyze this, the visible reason. Why did the security guard show impudence? Because you bastard? This is not an external cause, but a personal subjective reaction. For now, let's talk about external causes.

A guard can be annoyingly scrupulous simply because he is afraid of being punished for violating the rules. It is easy to understand a person who is afraid. Fear can be expressed as external concern, or something like "righteous" anger. But even this level of understanding of the external cause can keep the anger directed at the frightened guard. “Inappropriate stupidity” can irritate - they say, “you can’t be such a blockhead as to create problems for others because of unreasonable fears!”. If you believe that the guard's fear is due to his limited understanding of the situation, it is worth understanding what exactly the person is afraid of. He (“in vain”) may be afraid of losing his job, or fear that a reprimand from his superiors will make him experience humiliation and even more fear. Here the connection between an act and its cause is quite simple to understand. It's easy to understand fear. When a person is afraid, he suffers. Harder to understand arrogance.

To understand arrogance, you need to decompose it into components that are easier to understand. As already mentioned, arrogance and self-doubt are two poles. In essence, these are two sides of the same coin, the same phenomenon. An insolent person is an insecure person. And in order to somehow balance this self-doubt, in order to prove to himself that everything is different, a self-doubt person begins to show impudence. He does not know himself, and therefore seeks confirmation from external sources. He is forced to look for confirmation of this "importance" in the outside world, in how others react to him.

Sometimes, an insolent person, in order to make sure that he is an “important” person, can humiliate another person for this purpose, or kick the door of his own closet, which suddenly got in the way of an “important” person. An insolent person asserts himself because he is afraid to endure humiliation. A person shows impudence to maintain his self-esteem, to prove to himself that he is important! .

Perhaps the example of arrogance and self-doubt at the checkpoint is not the most revealing. There can be any examples: situations on the roads, in queues, during the division of “booty”, etc. Everyone in life can have their own examples, depending on experience and data in the subconscious. Figuratively speaking, when two impudent men meet, it is like a meeting of two young bulls who cannot part in any way on a narrow path.

When arrogance meets wisdom, it's like a badass karate novice goading an experienced black belt. An experienced one can consciously give in, show flexibility, because he is already confident in himself, he does not need external confirmation of his strength, which the beginner needs so much. The big smart dog is calm, and the little mongrel barks at all passers-by.

When "strength" rests on the weakness of others, such strength is worthless. True strength is to be able to insist on one's own, to give back to an equal, but at the same time not to do this under the influence of self-affirmation. A strong person will not push unless the situation calls for it. Good is not a crusade against "infidels". Good is stronger than evil, not because "he who wins is good." Good is wisdom, understanding the consequences, understanding yourself and your true needs. No one can desire violence with all their heart. Insolence is a distorted, incomplete understanding of one's own nature. Good is stronger than evil, because a good person has learned the futility of evil.

It may seem that in this article arrogance and self-doubt are criticized. The only goal that I actually pursue here is to display this mental mechanism on a verbal level. Ideally, it is worth remembering that both arrogance and self-doubt are superficial, it is a mental illusion that spends a lot of energy. Audacity and self-doubt are short-sighted "advisers". Their leadership leads to painful extremes and delusions. Without arrogance and self-doubt, there is more energy and clarity for.

You can forgive another person, stop being annoyed when there is a deep, clear understanding of his actions. Moreover, what really irritates us is what lives in ourselves. We are annoyed by the arrogance of another person, because we forbid ourselves to show this quality. The impudence of the "other" person - on external reality. Someone else's unacceptable arrogance is our own arrogance, which our personal inner censor roughly shoved into the pantry of the unconscious. And now she breaks out of there in the form of an angry irritant.

In other words, we prohibit other people's impudence simply because we have forbidden it to ourselves. Being arrogant is not "bad" at all. As long as repressed insolence lasts, it is useful to bring it to the surface in a practical and moderate manner in the form of appropriate "confidence." Then, someone else's arrogance will not cause envy and irritation. This is already a deeper work on a personal inner level.

In the end it all comes down to . The fear of an insecure impudent person is easier to forgive than impudence. We are all still learning. The ego is stable in dynamic equilibrium. - a structure that is constantly flowing, changing, supplemented by new "strokes". Therefore, the ego is in constant search for new supports. There is never “enough” for this structure, it is always “not enough”. The ego is constantly looking for external confirmation of its prosperity. But even at this level, relative calm is achievable, when a person frees himself from the polarity of self-doubt impudence.

To harmonize and eliminate specific fears, it may be appropriate to analyze the situation, an example of which is given in this article, and following the methods mentioned in the article "". To eliminate fear completely, you need to know yourself, your true. This is the spiritual state of the Buddha. Sincere striving for this can teach a lot. But here I will not advise "enlightening" and meditating. Everyone balances life most effectively with those "tools" that are available on the current one.

Actor Alexei Serebryakov, who lives in Canada, sees the national idea in strength, arrogance and rudeness. It is difficult to agree with his opinion, but rudeness and arrogance are sometimes found in everyday life. How to deal with arrogance and rudeness, without letting yourself be offended?

Sometimes there are people who make aggressive remarks and attacks in your direction. How to deal with rudeness and resist boors?

Stay cool

One of the methods of confronting arrogance and rudeness is equanimity. When a person yells at you, shows rudeness or disrespect, you should not follow his lead. Do not show your confusion or fear. Don't let the boor piss you off or piss you off. Do not try to defend yourself fearfully or defend yourself as if you are making excuses. Calmly, clearly, firmly, confidently and relaxed state your point of view on what is happening. Be above the insolent and boorish. Smile in the face of an insolent person ironically and dismissively. Remaining calm in the face of aggression is a sign of strength.

Yawn or sneeze

Does the enemy run into you, criticize and try to mentally suppress you? Be calm, and after the boor stops for a moment, yawn or sneeze. Apologize and say with a smile that you are allergic to nonsense and crazy stories. Ask what else he wants to say and whether the interlocutor has finished his monologue. After such an apathetic reaction, to all the insolent attempts, the interlocutor will feel like a loser, and you will come out a winner.

ignore

Sometimes the enemy tries to cause retaliatory aggression, showdown or conversation. If you are not ready to enter into controversy, then ignore the insolent. Ham is trying to get your attention, but you don't give it to him. Let's look away, yawn and ignore his pathetic attempts to drag you into a conversation. Defiantly ignore and smile.

How to respond to rudeness and impudence? Sometimes you want to shut up the insolent with a clever and funny phrase. What to say to a boor who gets you? Sometimes it's hard to come up with a funny answer right away that fits the situation. But there are ready-made worthy answers to rudeness that will plunge your opponent to the shoulder blades and make you look like a fool. Learn a couple of them. Say your prepared answer with a smirk and sarcasm.

1. You confused me with someone who is interested in your opinion.
2. I'm not interested in your complexes and problems.
3. Are you trying to offend me?
4. Rudeness does not suit you.
5. You can't save the world with your beauty.
6. Bad day today?
7. Train your sense of humor, it's still in its infancy.
8. I had a better opinion of you.
9. Do you politely answer?
10. Open your mouth at the dentist.
11. I don't talk to stupid people.
12. Do you know where you should go?
13. Your opinion is very “important” to me.
14. Has life offended you?
15. I look at you, nature has rested.
16. I see you are not distinguished by intelligence.
17. You will yell at your children.
18. I don't answer stupid questions.
19. I do not like to communicate with nonentities.
20. Why so many suckers on the street?
21. Big words of a small person.
22. Another offended by God.
23. Is there an open day in the mental hospital?
24. Shut up, you'll pass for a smart one.
25. You are not so beautiful as to be rude.
26. Envy silently.
27. I don't talk to drunks and fools.
28. If you don't like something, you can shoot yourself.
29. I am not offended by the poor.
30. Is that all he can do?
31. Stop drooling.
32. When I want to know your opinion, I will ask.
33. Where did the unpleasant smell come from, and it was you who opened your mouth.
34. Go for a walk in the forest.
35. Mom slept with anyone?
36. In the book of the dregs of the world, you are in last place.
37. Why so many degenerates?
38. There are no brains, which means a cripple.
39. There are many words, but few brains.
40. Child, go to your parents.
41. You bark at the wrong person.
42. Open your mouth at the level of your fly.
43. Petrosyan's grandson?
44. Don't show off, I'm not afraid of horses.
45. What a funny and angry face you have.
46. ​​Do not yell, otherwise the seals will fly out.
47. Since the tongue is so long, the penis is probably short.
48. I see no strength, no mind, no fantasy.
49. I would send you, but you are only from there.
50. I don't take offense at fools.

Sometimes an insolent and a boor can shut up a couple of good blows to the jaw.

Once upon a time it was right to remain modest - many remember Soviet films that brought up modesty and obedience in children. But of course, nothing stands still. Times change, customs change. Standing up for your opinion, being unbending in your rules is one thing. But being arrogant is quite another. And although everyone has a clear idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat impudence is, it is still not easy to define this concept.

We have all encountered, and more than once, when people violate the established norms of behavior, seeking to get something for their own benefit. For example, they pass out of the queue when others have defended a decent time in it, take away certain benefits from others on the rights of a stronger one. So it turns out: arrogance solves problems, allows you to get what you want in a simpler way.

Signs of arrogance:

• Disregard for public opinion, established norms, if it interferes.
• An insolent person can take what does not belong to him without a hint of embarrassment.
• An impudent person considers his interests more important than yours, he will not wait, give way to ladies, lisp with children or pay tribute to age. He needs to receive - so he will receive, despite the fact that the interests of others will suffer.
• Even if someone starts to resent, he will not change his tactics: he will remain silent or begin to respond rudely. But he will not give up his actions.
• Absence of shame. He doesn't care what you think.
• Making unreasonable demands, excessive perseverance. They also say "takes impudently."
• The insolent person interferes in other people's affairs, and can even impose his point of view.
• Insolence, attempts by rudeness to discourage the desire to interfere with him.

It turns out that impudence is the second happiness?

Looking at such "dared men", many also want to be "more active": it is easier, faster, with less losses to achieve certain goals. But is it worth