Meanness, meanness, meanness. How to deal with meanness and betrayal How to react to the meanness of relatives

There are three kinds of scoundrels in the world: naive scoundrels, that is, convinced that their meanness is the highest nobility, scoundrels who are ashamed of their own meanness with the inevitable intention of finishing it, and, finally, simply scoundrels, purebred scoundrels.

Conscious dishonesty is already meanness. Where there is dishonesty

in the order of things, meanness is revered as a virtue.

When lies are presented as truth, meanness is born

The one who committed meanness and did not think about the shame will have to experience unexpected grief. And whoever knowingly engages in meanness, retribution awaits him in advance

This danger must be met face to face, and meanness - face to face.

Meanness of the highest standard is baseness of the lowest level.

Meanness as a personality quality is a tendency to intentionally cause harm on the sly, causing contempt in people, violating a person’s trust, his dignity and safety.

Meanness as the queen of vices grows from the nursery. Her future adherent, acting thoughtfully, always gets away with it, while his peers constantly find themselves in unpleasant situations, following their thoughts impulsively and recklessly. The future scoundrel has a craving for acting on the sly, while no one is watching, and his naive comrades do not know how to do this. The “sneaky” child learned early on that adults, as a rule, do not have time to thoroughly understand the subtle nuances of offenses and the “extreme”, the most naive and honest, the first one who comes to hand, is punished. “Sneaky” behavior, taking root in the subconscious, becomes the norm of behavior, gradually developing into such a clearly manifested personality quality as meanness.

Only a person in ignorance can be a full-fledged possessor of meanness. A person in goodness, who puts the interests of others above his own and lives with the desire to help people achieve happiness, by definition is not capable of meanness. A person in passion, balancing between the desires to live for himself and to live for others, can only be a one-time, one-time, accidental carrier of meanness. If he firmly stands on the platform of meanness, it means that there is a transition to a lower stage - a person’s life in ignorance. For the true bearer of meanness - a person in ignorance, it is as natural as decency is harmonious for a person in goodness.

Meanness settles where conscience has died. A person, under the influence of the power of ignorance, believes that one must take everything from life as quickly as possible, without regard for anyone or anything. Selfishness is the father of meanness. If violence is necessary, then it is acceptable and justified; if you need to set someone up, there are no problems; if you need to gain someone’s trust, create something common, intimate with a person, and then mercilessly trample it and mock their gullibility and “gullibility.” “Victims are the aerobatics of dexterity and common sense.

Having lost the voice of conscience, a person in ignorance, having committed a vile act, does not experience any mental anguish or suffering. Meanness may have a stomach or teeth ache, but not a soul ache. People who have suffered from his meanness are overwhelmed by emotions that permeate their entire body, tearing at their souls, darkening their minds, causing pain, contempt and indignation. For them, his act is the embodiment of blatant injustice and dishonesty, but for him, it is as common an activity as smoking a cigarette or going to the toilet.

The voice of conscience interacts with the mind, helping a person to realize “what is good and what is bad,” therefore, when communicating with other people, a person evaluates with the help of the voice of conscience whether he is crossing the line beyond which his actions can be interpreted by himself and others as meanness . A person in ignorance, having destroyed the voice of conscience, is seething with the desire for success, he deeply does not care about morality and all moral values, about the kindness and trust shown to him by people. He needs it, and while his mother was at work, he breaks into her apartment and steals the ring that she treasured very much (a gift from her father), pulls out a bag with money and bonds. My grandmother saved this money for her funeral. Everyone at home is shocked, they call him a scoundrel, but he doesn’t even understand what they are talking about and does not consider his actions to be meanness.

Meanness is incapable of negotiation and does not shake hands; all its promises, obligations and oaths have no value. Having agreed, for example, with meanness on the transition from state zero to state two, you expect at the next meeting that further negotiations will start from the number two. It's a delusion. Looking at you with pure, naive eyes, meanness will offer you to start negotiations at minus two, citing some reasons known only to it. This is even the best outcome, usually meanness will either abandon you halfway to the goal or, having robbed and taken everything, “throw you away” like unnecessary trash.

Like attracts like, only in the company of its own kind does meanness feel cozy and comfortable. With people in goodness, in order not to mess up, you need to be constantly on guard, putting on a mask of integrity and openness. In its midst, meanness can freely laugh at people devoted to it and only receive approval for the sophistication and ingenuity of its vile deeds. Even with a completely mortified conscience, meanness wants to spoil, discredit and undermine the roots of that “oak” whose acorns they have been feeding on all the time.

Meanness, having no conscience, is naturally devoid of all shame. Not only with enemies, but also in relationships with ordinary people, she does not know the limits, to fall below which means to admit her immorality, dishonesty, vileness and baseness. Thirty years ago, in yard companies, the rule “don’t hit someone who’s lying down” was in force. In noble society, the enemy could be destroyed only in an open, equal and fair fight. Women, as strange as it may seem to modern youth, should never have been beaten. In other words, even the enemy was given a minimum of rights to some kind of fair treatment and self-defense. Ignoring these rules was called meanness. A stab in the back from around the corner automatically turned a person into a degenerate, an outcast and a scoundrel, so people preferred a dignified death to dishonor and shame from complete meanness. Giordano Bruno said: “Better a dignified and heroic death than an undignified and vile triumph.”

Meanness is for the weak. Worthless, doubtful, insecure people considered themselves incapable of coping with life's difficulties using ordinary methods. By betting on meanness, she admitted her unwillingness to learn the lessons of fate, confirmed her pettiness and dishonesty. The “little man” realized that only through meanness could he somehow resist and gain a foothold in the world of strong and worthy people.

Man in ignorance, as the representative of meanness on Earth, is in fact a great teacher, giving people the knowledge to counter their many idealizations. So, where excessive significance of someone or something arises, meanness immediately appears, returning a person to a sober look at the extent of his gullibility and the correctness of his ideas regarding love and friendly relationships.

Petr Kovalev 2013

Appearing after betrayal. How to survive this unpleasant period in life? What is meanness? How to fight the desire to take revenge on the offender? The science of the soul and human relationships helps to understand this.

Is meanness a manifestation of a strong character or one’s own weakness?

No person is born a scoundrel; he becomes one due to many factors: moral education, the influence of people around him, as well as encounters with betrayal. Being offended or betrayed by someone from his inner circle, he himself becomes a scoundrel and a traitor.

What is meanness? This is, to a greater extent, a manifestation of the lack of certain moral standards. In the understanding of a scoundrel, actions that bring pain and negative emotions to others are something acceptable and commonplace. However, when caught in a betrayal, frame-up or other negative act, such people usually deny everything. Therefore, meanness in psychology is akin to schizophrenia - like sick people, scoundrels do not accept normal, healthy interaction with society.

Most scoundrels are weak people who use meanness as a defense and a tool to help them assert themselves at the expense of the suffering of other members of society. They betray without feeling any remorse; they extract from a person everything they need to achieve their goals and satisfy their own needs.

Decoding the concept

What is meanness? The definition of the concept in psychology and sociology looks like this: it is a destructive effect on the common interests and goals of people, aimed at harming a specific person. In addition to preferences and goals, the victim and the scoundrel may have in common tools, family, home, work, values ​​and much more. Language is also common, and words and phrases uttered to humiliate another’s dignity are considered meanness.

Who is most at risk?

Exposure is especially dangerous for people with low self-esteem and frequent bouts of depression. This is due to the fact that they are most predisposed to the negative consequences of betrayal and meanness, such as suicide.

These concepts have a precise definition - these are the actions of one person aimed at humiliating the self-esteem of another. Meanness is when betrayal can be an accidental, one-time action, which the traitor himself will later regret.

Potential traitors

People whom we are accustomed to trust - lovers, relatives, colleagues and friends - can “stab a knife in the back” at the most unpredictable moment. Often this situation arises due to fleeting desires or an emotional impulse. Many people try to regain their former trust after committing an act, but this is not so easy. According to statistics, although most victims forgive their offenders, they still continue to hold a grudge deep down in their hearts.

What is meanness? This is, first of all, an act that destroys harmonious relationships, destroys something in common, something that unites the victim and the scoundrel. Anyone can commit this negative action; it is enough to know certain painful points of a person and his preferences. Situations from life help to understand in more detail what meanness is.

• One of the partners sets up his partner, pursuing selfish goals - taking his position. He knows where the victim keeps important papers and what route he takes to get to work. The scoundrel does everything to prevent him from getting to the office by a certain time, and passes off his work as his own. As a result, a person loses a good position, loses heart and considers himself a nonentity.
• After 10 years of marriage, the man began to lose interest in his wife. Gradually, his attention completely switched to another woman - a colleague (secretary, old acquaintance). And at one moment, succumbing to temptation, he commits an act of treason. His wife finds out about this from the lips of her rival, and everything in her life turns upside down. Trust in the man she still loves disappears, and she begins to suffer and suffer.

What not to do if you become a victim of a vile act

If you have been negatively impacted, you should not make hasty decisions. Besides this, you don't need:

1. Build a plan for revenge. Revenge is no less destructive to a person’s inner world than the consequences of betrayal.
2. Throw a tantrum. Excessive emotionality takes a lot of energy, and recovery takes longer.
3. Trying to figure out the relationship with the offender. In a fit of anger, he cannot objectively assess the situation, which only aggravates his situation.

What is meanness? This is the direct impact of the offender on the victim. Trust placed in the wrong person, communication with him - all this weakens the victim’s vigilance. Don’t be naive, hoping that the scoundrel will change and this won’t happen again. Having committed an unpleasant act once and benefited from it, he will not miss the opportunity to take advantage of your trust again.

How to properly deal with resentment, anger and the desire for revenge? Advice from psychologists

Experts agree on one thing: if you have become a victim of betrayal or a vile act, then the first thing you need to do is calm down. What happened in your life is not necessarily a deliberate betrayal. It could just be a mistake by the person who loves you.

Calmness and composure will help you overcome the crisis after a vile act. To fully understand the problem, you need to:

• Reconsider the situation in which you and your abuser find themselves. You need to be 100% sure that he is really a cruel scoundrel, and not a narrow-minded person. A cruel person intentionally hurts people and gets pleasure from it, while a narrow-minded person could simply make a mistake and go astray from the right path.
• Try to forgive. Yes, it is to forgive the offender, and not to bear a grudge. The resentment hidden in the depths of the soul carries only negativity, and it seems that the weightless soul is heavier than a pile of stones.
• Know how to switch, change “minus” to “plus”. This is an effective method that helps you quickly recover from betrayal. No matter how powerful the negative blow may be, you need to know that both pain and mental suffering are an internal problem, not an external one, and over time everything will pass. Think about the essentials. For example, will you suffer so much if your wife (husband) leaves you, and after a couple of days you find out that you have become the owner of a substantial inheritance. So what will take your full attention?

Meanness is not just a negative influence used by one person. Today, meanness has become a thing for many, so be careful when communicating with new acquaintances.

If we know anything about meanness, it is only how it looks on the outside, that is, how meanness manifests itself in other people. It seems that there are several external manifestations of meanness:

1. A vile person never shows his true face, he always hides under a “mask”, under a guise, under a face. Hence the name "scoundrel".

2. A mean person says one thing, but actually does something else. In order to hide his true interest, he needs a guise, a “mask”.

3. The secret goal that a vile person achieves is destructive for the business he has entered into and for those people who do this business with him. Otherwise the scoundrel would have nothing to hide. And one day he will definitely spoil something or even destroy it.

4. If the one who was abandoned by the scoundrel begins to be indignant and talk about meanness and betrayal, the scoundrel will talk about the freedom that is supposedly being taken away from him. The scoundrel values ​​\u200b\u200b“freedom” very much, which in fact is for him the right not to answer for anything and to step over everything.

5. If a scoundrel is called to account, he will suddenly become stupid. However, he has enough ability to get out and even make those whom he just recently vilely used to achieve his goals guilty. Moreover, the scoundrel will leave offended by these people.

6. When the deeds of the scoundrel are revealed, people will see his true face and will not recognize the former person.

7. After communicating with a scoundrel, you are left with the feeling that you were used and then left a fool. My soul feels disgusting, disgusting, and I want to “wash off” something sticky and unpleasant from myself.

8. While you are writhing in pain and betrayal, the scoundrel is dancing on your bones, calling you inadequate.

"Explanatory Dictionary of the Living Great Russian Language" V.I. Dalia talks about meanness like this:

vile - "low, underworld, of the last quality, poor judgment; | about a person, class: from the mob, dark, low kind of tribe, from slaves, serfs, serf class; | about moral quality low, dishonest, dirty, despicable. On the fair brought the most vile goods, the lowest quality from the south. Poor, but not of a vile family: their grandfathers were eminent merchants. His wife was taken from a vile, Vologda simple family, from a poor house; in Perm.-Cherd. sometimes vile means: poor, needed, or even beggar. A vile deed, dishonest, obviously immoral, depriving of respect.

A vile person, a scoundrel, a scoundrel, ready to achieve his goals through base seeking, in whom there is no sense of honor and self-respect. Mean people reach their species. It was done in a mean way, meanly. | A scoundrel, a scoundrel, a scoundrel, an abusive woman, a woman of bad behavior. Meanness w. property, quality of vile: | a vile act. To live in meanness, to grovel, to cheat, to sneak around. Meanness, the property of everything mean. To be mean, to act meanly, esp. about low seeking. Subjection, action according to the verb. Podlyatina everything is vile."

There are sources where those people who lived near the prince’s castle were called vile. That is, vile people are, first of all, rootless people. Those who have no place either on the throne, or in the princely chambers, or in the princely castle. Their place is only next to those who rule. It seems strange that the Russian people somehow connected rootlessness and baseness, calling both of them in one word “meanness”: “A vile person, a scoundrel, a scoundrel, ready to achieve his goals through base seeking, in whom there is no sense of honor and self-respect.”

A modern cultured and educated intellectual is more likely to be imbued with sympathy and pity for poor, rootless people forced to live in poverty, work for their masters and violate their own respect. Righteous anger inevitably rises within an intellectual. After all, almost all of us are forced to live like this. Constantly step over yourself, shrink, endure, hold back. There is always a bastard in our environment whom we are forced to tolerate, with whom we have to constantly sacrifice ourselves and to whom we cannot say anything.

Modern thoughts of modern people about meanness

Experience has taught me that if people do things against you, it will ultimately benefit you.

Everything in this life serves as a lesson for us,
You will pay for everything - no matter how long you live.
But nothing goes wrong,
Like meanness... and betrayal of love.

The final defeat is always suffered by those people who, blinded by their anger, cease to notice how their outright meanness becomes obvious to everyone around them.

The most important thing after experiencing meanness is not the ability to forget, but the ability to continue to believe that not all people are the same...

Don’t break someone else’s happiness if you don’t want someone to break yours too.

There is no limit to human meanness, just as there is no limit to human kindness.

It is not necessary to perform feats, it is enough just not to do mean things...

No virtues can cancel out meanness in character, but meanness can easily cancel out all virtues.

About human meanness
There's nothing worse in the world
Meanness. Whatever you say here -
The city's courage comes from outside,
Meanness storms them from within!

Meanness upon meanness
To respond with meanness to meanness...
There is a precedent and even a reason
A convenient opportunity turned up -
So use it and don't worry
Now you'll be even!
I’ll take revenge – well, just like in sports!
I will respond with meanness to meanness!
Where does such timidity come from?
I felt like something was holding me back...
No, I'm not capable of this!

Dirty intentions, as a rule, are served with the sauce of pure motives...

Never take revenge on vile people. Just be happy. They won't survive this.

Here's a speck in your eye - it scratches like a log, but if you pull it out, you won't be able to see it through a magnifying glass! just like people - some lousy little fry, but if he does something nasty, you can’t shovel it!

About betrayal

Remember the kiss of Judas - and the betrayal of a friend will not surprise you.
Remember that he was only one of the twelve apostles, and it will not lead you to despondency.

It's not scary when a fool thinks he's smart. It's scary when a scoundrel considers himself a decent person.

What a pity that the veterinarian does not treat swine in people...

The ability to do small dirty tricks behind one's back, weave intrigues and gracefully walk over one's head does not make a person cool, and certainly cannot characterize his success. It makes him a scoundrel, and completely determines his essence, upbringing and level of development as a whole. It's a pity for those who have this skill - the only adequate way of existence.

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We hope that as you study them in more detail, you will begin to understand much better who is who in the world around you

“A blow to the nose is direct, obvious, and heals quickly. But a blow to your self-esteem in the right way and at the right time can cripple you to death."
~ Jay Carter, Ph.D.

We have all encountered people who are trying to somehow mock us, humiliate us and destroy our self-esteem. And it doesn’t really matter where you encounter them - at work, at home, or among your friends. There will certainly be at least one person around us who treats us much worse than we deserve.

And the worst thing is that they lower our assessment in such subtle and unobvious ways that other people may not always notice it. And if we try to explain how we feel, our tormentors will easily change everything in their own way, making us overly sensitive, selfish and prone to snap judgments, turning us from victims into offenders.

I hope that as you study them in more detail, you will begin to understand much better who is who in the world around you:

1. They make you insecure

One of the methods of vile people is to constantly keep you insecure. You never know when they will explode into hysterics or do something that will piss you off.

For example, you may feel like you have reached a mutual understanding, have common themes for fun, and have generally begun to trust this person. And so, when everything has been going this way for some time, suddenly the vile person does something that undoes everything that happened before and again plunges you into a state of uncertainty and uncertainty.

You never know exactly how to feel about this person, so you create emotional crutches for yourself by convincing yourself that you still like him.

2. They like to project their feelings onto you.

The projection of feelings can be explained very simply: this is when a person takes his feelings as a basis, but places responsibility for them on you. For example, a person who doesn't like you might tell you, "I don't think you like me."

They frame you in their projection, forcing you to explain and justify yourself to them. And instead of thinking about the intentions of vile people, you begin to doubt your own feelings.

3. They often try to manipulate you

Manipulators strive for power. Nasty people want to feel superior to you, and often make you feel like you owe them something. This behavior is often found among politicians and managers.

For example, if you are asked to work overtime and you already have plans for that evening, your boss may try to convince you that work is more important than your plans.

And if you remind him of those evenings that you worked overtime earlier, he will most likely try to turn everything in such a way that, allegedly, you volunteered for them yourself, or were working off some kind of “service” for your boss.

4. They always try to force their opinions on others.

Nasty people like to label people around them and then act as if everyone agrees with them. For example, by saying “you are irresponsible,” this person takes it for granted that you are just such a person, and everyone around him will agree with this characteristic.

Nasty people label you because they are subconsciously trying to crush your self-esteem into tiny pieces instead of helping you cope with the real problem (if there is one). To help solve a problem means to take on part of the responsibility, and vile people are not ready to do this.

5. Even when they tell the truth, they generalize and exaggerate it.

Beware of generalizations. Nasty people often use generalizations to make mountains out of molehills. For example, if you forgot to clean your apartment, the nasty person might say, “You never help me” (translation: You forgot to clean your apartment), or “You are no use” (translation: You forgot to clean your apartment).

Once again, instead of addressing the real problem, they attack your self-esteem. The problem is that the apartment is dirty, not that you are unhelpful or unhelpful.

6. They strike on the sly

“I don’t want to upset you, but...” (Most likely, you will be upset about something now). “I don’t want to interrupt you, but...” (But I already interrupted!).

As a rule, nasty people who are going to attack you on the sly will speak in a soft, sympathetic voice. You can see sympathy on their faces. They may seem like the nicest people, except that they hold a dagger in their other hand behind their back.

7. They put double meanings into words.

Double meanings usually appear in phrases where the words say one thing but the tone says something completely different. For example, nasty people may ask you in a mocking tone: “How are you?” And if you answer, as you most likely want to, “Get out!”, the vile person with a clear conscience will tell everyone he knows that you’re in a bad mood today and you’re throwing yourself at everyone, but he just asked how you were you care.

Vile people are great masters at composing double-bottom phrases. They may even seem harmless to observers, but you immediately feel how they hit the target.

8. They love to interrupt conversations.

Another valuable tool of a vile person is to cut off a conversation mid-sentence. If he asks you to tell you something about yourself, you can be sure that he will cut you off before you finish answering.

And their questions are often tricky. If you are asked something like “Have you stopped drinking cognac in the morning?”, know that there is simply no correct answer to this question. A nasty person may even cut off a conversation with you in the middle, leaving you alone with a bunch of unspoken thoughts.

9. They take you to the top and then cut off your wings

But when you really need help, the vile person will gently and unobtrusively turn your attention to your own negative traits. This way he can chop off your wings in order to gratify his own sense of superiority and instill in you the confidence that you need him.

10. They use the “double drag” on you.

“Double nonsense” is the most vile of all their methods, because with it you will harm yourself both if you agree with them and if you resist. For example, if you enroll in courses to improve self-esteem, your “other half” may begin to envy you or believe that your increased self-esteem threatens them in some way. And in the end you are faced with an ultimatum: “Either me or your courses.”

Of course, you are not going to give up your established personal relationships for the sake of courses - but by doing so, you are depriving yourself of the slightest chance to make the slightest positive changes in your own life.

How to avoid the influence of vile people

Now that you've learned about 10 ways nasty people ruin your life, you'll not only have a much better idea of ​​how to counter them, but you'll also have a better understanding of the nasty people themselves and their intentions.

No wonder they say that knowledge is power. And even if we can't avoid some people in our lives, we can at least avoid their pitfalls.

And all that is needed for this is to pay more attention to the behavior of the people around us, and behave with them more confidently and assertively.

To achieve his goal, a scoundrel can use all his cunning. Sometimes such people are experts in humanity or subconsciously sense who from their environment may give in. Hypocrites lie, play on the feelings of others and weave intrigues.

You can catch a vile person in a lie if you compare the facts and analyze what he says. Most likely, this unprincipled individual will screw up somewhere. Only a seasoned liar can endlessly lead everyone by the nose for his own benefit. Observe the facial expressions and gestures of a person who does not inspire your confidence, whom you suspect of lacking honesty.

If he is lying, you will see inconsistencies in the meaning of his words and body movements that are beyond your control.

When you realize that a person has ulterior motives and is willing to set others up for his own gain, you will be on your guard. The more people are aware that this person cannot be trusted, the less stable the scoundrel's position will be. For example, if we are talking about a work team, try to open the eyes of your colleagues to a vile person.

Don't be manipulated

To avoid becoming part of someone's sneaky plan, learn to protect yourself from manipulation. The main tool that will help you is already with you – this is your intuition. If you subconsciously feel discomfort when communicating with a person, perhaps he is trying to use you.

Don't follow the scoundrel's lead. If you don't do what he wants, you will ruin his plans. This is the most effective way to deal with a hypocrite. After all, open confrontation is not suitable here. An outright scandal with an appeal to the conscience of a scoundrel will not help you much. Believe me, the scoundrel will be able to get out, and you will remain a fool.

Try to communicate less with those people from whom negativity comes. If you are forced to do this, for example, due to official duties, limit the time you talk with him to a minimum.

Showcase your confidence, strength of character and insight. Be calm and skeptical. Most likely, scoundrels will not touch such people.

Do not let untrusted acquaintances and colleagues know about the details of your personal life. Otherwise, an insidious person will take advantage of your frankness and in the future will be able to use the information received for his own dirty purposes.

Under no circumstances should you gossip in front of random witnesses or even make harmless remarks about third parties who are not present at the time of the conversation. Otherwise, you may be drawn into some kind of intrigue against your will.

The main thing when meeting hypocrites is not to be disappointed in other people. Believe me, not everyone around you is capable of meanness.

Sometimes a person in childhood, adolescence and even in adulthood can become an object of ridicule or attacks. If for one reason or another he is overweight, rest assured that this will not pass the attention of poorly educated “witty talkers”, and the poor fellow will be called either “fat trust” or another equally offensive nickname. In any group, even among the masses of completely normal people, there will always be not the most intelligent individuals who take pleasure in mocking others, sometimes bringing them to tears. What to do in such a situation?

What, for example, should a schoolchild who is called names or teased by cruel peers act? Of course, you can try to defend your dignity by using force. And in some cases this is really the only way out; unfortunately, there are people who do not understand another language. But, firstly, the offender may be physically stronger. Secondly, there may be several of them. Thirdly, it may not be the offender, but the offender. Don’t hit (even if it’s openly mean)! In general, physical force should be used only in extreme cases.

First of all, the child and his parents should clearly and clearly understand that a painful reaction to offensive nicknames (anger and, especially, tears) is a real gift to those who tease him. And the more the child shows that he is offended by offensive nicknames, the more willingly and zealously they will continue their “dirty work.” Unfortunately, there are such people, there is no escape from this. As a rule, they “feed” on the tears of strangers, this adds to them a certain superiority (of course, in their opinion).

Therefore, no matter how difficult it may be, you should try to control yourself. The best reaction to all the efforts of offenders is contemptuous indifference. Very soon they will get tired of wasting time in vain, and they will fall behind, switching to searching for another “victim”.

If it is impossible to tolerate their antics, you can try to “beat your enemies with their own weapons.” The offender (or offenders) probably have their own “weak points.” You just need to look closely and find them. Anyone who is accustomed to mocking others usually does not expect that he himself may be the object of ridicule, and very sharp and caustic ones at that. The stronger the shock will be for the “witty talkers” when they start calling them names.

Well, if nothing helps, then you should transfer the child to another school.

Sources:

• what to do if they call you names at school

Different people can meet at the workplace, because a team cannot be chosen in the same way as a job. Sometimes young and even quite experienced employees have to endure humiliation from their superiors.

The reasons for humiliation at work can be different: hostility towards a new employee, dissimilarity of characters, misunderstanding of the motives of a person’s behavior, conflict between a boss or employee. In any case, humiliation at work is a fairly common phenomenon, very unpleasant and painful for any employee who has been subjected to such treatment. When a person has to work in such a stressful situation, is constantly afraid of doing something wrong, or getting another reprimand, he loses motivation, loses faith in himself and loses all desire to work. And after the boss, some subordinates may begin to behave with the employee in exactly the same way. Of course, in such conditions it is very difficult to hold a job for a long time.

What should you do in this situation?

An employee who has been humiliated first needs to acknowledge it. Many people do not want to notice humiliation; they think that such behavior by a manager is the norm, since the boss says something offensive, then the employee deserves it. However, in most cases this is not the case; no nagging of the manager can be expressed in the form of humiliation. There is no need to justify such actions, lose self-control, or lower your own self-esteem if you are firmly convinced that you are doing your job well. Identify the main instigators of humiliation and those who support them; usually this can be two or three people, rarely a larger number of employees. You should also notice who sympathizes with you or at least remains neutral. These people can help you in the future. Now it’s worth trying to resolve the conflict or misunderstanding that has arisen.

Conflict resolution by the manager

The first step is to have an honest conversation with your boss. Perhaps he doesn't even understand that employees. Tell us about your own fears and anxieties, try to smooth out his attitude, find out what you did wrong to him, what you are doing wrong, why is he treating you so harshly? In addition, try to ask him for advice or help, this may flatter him and he will change his attitude towards you.

The second way would be to assemble your team of sympathetic or neutral people who do not take part in your humiliation. Chat with him, try to get closer - have lunch together, discuss interesting topics, ask for help or offer it yourself. It’s good if you can establish contact not only with employees of your department, but also of the neighboring one, and also know their bosses. Maybe one of them will want to transfer you to his department, then the humiliation will stop. But even if this does not happen, with the support of other people, you can try to stage a small revolution. Contact your superiors and try to explain the whole humiliation situation. Tell everything calmly and be objective, ask to resolve the conflict. Usually, after talking with your superiors, your immediate manager can moderate his anger.

If this doesn’t work out, set yourself a goal, for example, to work for six months or a year, gain experience, and then quit. This, of course, is a good motivator, but you should only do this as a last resort: when you need money, you like the work itself, or it is a very prestigious place, the equivalent of which will not be so easy to find. If you don’t have such reasons, feel free to leave this position. You shouldn’t hold on to it if you need to waste so much nerves.

Relationships in a work team are always difficult. What hurts one person will not matter to another. To get rid of constant humiliation, you need to understand why it happens. Only by finding the cause can the consequences be eliminated.

It often happens in work groups that conflictual relationships arise with management or colleagues. This greatly affects the nervous system, leading to various diseases. How to get rid of the harmful influence and get the opportunity to work normally? The issue is complex because each case must be considered individually. However, there are general rules, using which you can make your life much easier and not feel humiliated:

Look at the situation from the outside

If this cannot be done, then consult a psychologist. The victim's position will not help you get out of a difficult situation, but will worsen it.

Don't be hostile or aggressive

Do not provoke scandals, they will not help in resolving controversial situations. Strive for peaceful dialogue and try to come to an agreement with people.

Don't retaliate

Intrigues, plans for revenge, etc. greatly spoil the working environment in the team, creating tension. Forgive the offender, sometimes people say something without thinking, not wanting to offend you.

Reconsider your views and attitudes

In most cases, a feeling of humiliation arises due to an individual’s hypertrophied pride. Because of this, he begins to get angry at others and believe that he is undeserved.

If there is a difficult situation at work that cannot be resolved, then it is more rational to leave it so as not to spoil your nerves. Quitting your job does not guarantee that your problems will go away. To prevent a negative situation from repeating in a new place, it is necessary to conduct a deep analysis of relationships with colleagues at your previous job and identify the main problem.