Why people go with the flow and do not want to change their lives. Go with the flow Everyone go with the flow
How much they say now that if you want to achieve something, you need to stop going with the flow and, contrary to fate, do everything to get your material or non-material happiness ... Western psychologists and business coaches unanimously say that you simply must take in the hands of his life and to the last drop of mental health to fight with fate. But turning to Eastern philosophy, we see directly opposite statements. And here the question arises: “Who is right?”.
The truth is always there. Everyone should choose a method close to him. But before you make a choice, you need to carefully analyze this run from something or to a specific goal. And most importantly, to realize that “going with the flow” is not necessarily a generally accepted inert state without aspirations.
Ways to go with the flow or against:
1. In the generally accepted sense, go with the flow - lazy, inert, lack of initiative.
The “charm” of such a movement is obvious: a person is not to blame for anything - these are all “evil circumstances”. He not only does not go against fate, he generally ceases to go with the flow with time, although the illusion of activity remains. Not noticing the happy chances offered by fate, without taking any action, a person simply waits for the “promised” happiness to fall on him. Sooner or later, the river of life throws him out, at best, into a quiet backwater, where he flounders, and at worst, into a swamp, where he remains dissatisfied with himself, fate and everyone around him.
2. Too actively go with the flow of life, actively try different currents, look into all the backwaters and wallow without respite.
Like a blind kitten poke its nose in search of a good chance that leads to happiness. This often happens from excessive curiosity, fear of missing out on something "mega-important", the inability to hear yourself or the lack of intended goals. A rather energy-intensive way to go with the flow to the final goal, given that in this way only a few reach the desired and completely by accident.
3. The greatest efficiency will be with a conscious movement with the flow.
It is important to understand the main thing: in order to sail somewhere, you need to start moving somewhere, the same is true of achievements in life. First you need to decide on the desires and goals. Choose the riverbed to which the Soul draws, and not just fashionable. Set for yourself intermediate goals and a schedule for working with oars (your actions to achieve).
Going with the flow consciously is:
with wide eyes - watching and studying every turn, so as not to miss your own, exploring all the possibilities, but not rushing at each thoughtlessly
avoiding the whirlpools - letting go of emotions and not dwelling on annoying little things
participating in the movement - doing something all the time, improving, learning something useful to achieve
4. “Against fate” or “swim against the current” is the most difficult option for moving through life.
It doesn’t matter if this happens because of stubbornness, a conviction in the need to overcome obstacles, or a desire to cry later in someone’s vest on injustice - such a desire to move against fate without fail leads to depression and nervous exhaustion.
Does moving against the current lead to the goal?
It's hard to say for sure, but rather no than yes...
Going with the flow consciously is a movement in line with your destiny, which gives peace and a harmonious state. Something unnecessary or contraindicated, received in defiance of fate, will not fit into a happy future and will rather be a burden than give happiness later. Or at best, it will turn out to be time and nerves wasted for no good.
Each of us is well aware of the expression "go with the flow" and the negative meaning that is invested in it. A person who goes with the flow does not know why he lives, what he wants, and even more so, he has no idea how to change everything in such a way as to find more meaning and get more pleasure. He just does what his boss, family and tax office require of him. There are many ways to stop going with the flow, but it is much more important than the disparate methods and tricks to apply the whole system - the system of conscious living.
Where to begin?
Oddly enough, it is better to start not with planning, but with summing up. Try to describe how you live - how much and what you devote to working time, what you have lunch, how you relax, what you read and watch, with whom you communicate. If you write everything down correctly, you can, as it were, see your own life from the outside.
After describing your life, think about what you like and don’t like about it, what looks like a waste of time, and what important time is not enough for. Consider how you can change the situation. For example, you really do not have enough time for. However, using the notes, you found out that every day you spend on TV and social networks for at least an hour and a half. Here's a temporary reserve for you. Of course, a foreign language is not exactly what I would like to do after a hard day's work. But there are other options - for example, getting up in the morning half an hour earlier or spending half of your lunch time reading and memorizing. If you travel to work by public transport, flashcards or a small notepad with new words will come in handy. Is it pointless to cram? Do not cram - come up with associations, draw parallels between foreign vocabulary and words of your native language, compose sentences - getting into context, words are much easier to remember. It's hard to imagine a more useful occupation for moving. If you do this daily, then in a week you will be able to sum up pleasant results that you can be proud of.
Write down
Very often, bright thoughts come to our mind in a completely inappropriate environment for this. Alas, in most cases they disappear from our heads so quickly that then we unsuccessfully try to remember what we came up with so ingenious. To do this, you just need a notebook and a pen where you could write down such things.
It should be noted that such a notebook will be useful for housewives no less than for creative workers. Stop talking about which grocery store to go to. Just write down the prices from one and the second, and compare at home. Or, perhaps, while visiting the laundry, you will come up with a great idea on how to introduce household members to homework. Don't rely on memory - write it down!
By the way, the same method works great with literature. Heard about a new film by a famous director, a recently published book by a favorite author - write down the title. When you get to the bookshop or disc department, you won't have to think about what to buy. You just open a notepad and make a purchase without much thought.
Of course, just writing is not enough. It is necessary from time to time (and it is better to start a certain day for this) to flip through the records and think about what innovations to bring into your life, what decisions to implement. In order not to forget about the decisions made, stick reminder stickers. A “wash the dishes right after you eat!” sticker taped on a cabinet near the sink will save you a lot of time and nerves.
The main thing is attention every day
As the well-known designer and time management expert Yana Frank says, “there is never too much of the main thing.” Therefore, identify for yourself a few areas of paramount importance and those that, day after day, ignoring which, you risk falling into the blues. Some dream of mastering a new drawing technique, others dream of reading an important book on self-education, others of cleaning up some cluttered place in the apartment. However, for things to really move, they need to move. Plan things related to these important areas for each day (until the end of the case). If there is no energy and time at all (for example, for physical education, a book or analysis of the “blockage” on a trellis), set a timer for 15-20 minutes. For a quarter of an hour, activity will not decrease from you. But during this time you can do a piece of work and, most importantly, relieve yourself of the burden of guilt for not doing something very important. Also how are you doing! And here's the proof!
Accounting for this activity can be done on a single leaf. Write the dates of the month at the top, and the names of the activities in the column on the left. All you need is to hang a piece of paper in front of your eyes and put plus signs. Didn’t go to the gym - “work out” 15 minutes of exercise at home, couldn’t bring yourself to clean the apartment - set a timer for 15 minutes and brush off the dust, walk around the apartment with a bin, collecting pieces of paper and used cotton pads from surfaces.
Paying attention to the important things for you every day, you will feel great self-satisfaction, because you are no longer going with the flow, but moving in the direction you need.
Plans for work and rest
When a person is tired or under the influence of stress, it is difficult for him to collect his thoughts. Unfortunately, it often happens that small things, like possible ways to relax, just fly out of your head. Therefore, a person, returning from work, instead of doing something useful and interesting, simply sits in an armchair and turns on the TV. Simply because he didn’t remember something useful and interesting, and the TV immediately caught his eye. This is where lists of work and pleasant things will come in handy.
Until the end of the working day is another hour, and you are already squeezed like a lemon? Open the list and see what easy things you can do without straining at all. Perhaps you need to check the Internet for the opening hours of some institution or delete unnecessary files from the folder. This work will not require much effort from you and at the same time you will fruitfully spend the remaining time. And, more importantly, you will save time in the morning when your head is fresh, and you can deal with more serious and important issues, and not such “small things”.
Want to ? Open a list of your hobbies and other interesting activities. Someone will take a pencil and draw, and someone will open a light detective novel that they have long wanted to read. Someone will arm themselves with a fashion magazine to choose the style of a dress, and someone will get old photographs from the mezzanine to finally design an album. There are so many classes, and because of absent-mindedness and fatigue, we forget about the important and interesting.
Don't go with the flow - call the flow!
Usually, when they say “go with the flow”, they mean that a person is inert, lacks initiative, is content with what life presents him, without trying to get more (or something else). But I see the flow of water in the river as a beautiful and rich in semantic delights metaphor for the flow of human life. Today I want to talk about such an approach to life as a meaningful movement with the flow, considering alternative, less adequate options.
You can't go against the current
Of course, you can try, and each of us has tried to overcome the power of a mighty current with the help of four limbs, but, having become convinced of the futility of such attempts, we, as a rule, grow up and begin to look for less labor-intensive and more effective ways to achieve what we want. Swimming against the current means in every situation choosing the most difficult path, the most dangerous course of action, the longest and most exhausting method of moving towards the goal, instead of solving the problem in an easy way, and spending the freed time on the joys of life and other goals.
According to my observations, several categories of people prefer to swim against the current: especially principled (and in this context, the line between integrity and donkey stubbornness is very thin), those who love difficulties and find the best motivation for themselves in them (as well as those who otherwise simply life is boring), and, finally, lovers of the role of a victim, a sufferer, for whom it is not so important to overcome difficulties, but to be able to feel sorry for themselves when they arise.
Minuses of this approach are obvious: a colossal disproportion in the ratio of the effort expended / result, the slowness of movement, the feeling that the whole world is against you. The only one plus what I see - motivation - for some people to overcome several challenges to their strengths and abilities before breakfast is a necessary component of existence and progress, but such people are few.
How can you get into the ocean if you swim against the current? Why break through the wall with your head if fifty centimeters to the left there is a window, a window or a door?
Inertia
The passive approach to moving along the course of your life was mentioned at the beginning of the article. As illustrations come to mind humility, submission to fate, preached by religious concessions; indifferent attitude to one's own life (that is, lack of motivation for any action); disappointment in life caused by a global discrepancy between the desired and the actual. Relying on fate that will carry you into the ocean, provided that you don’t lift a finger is a utopia, the universe has a great sense of humor, and your river can easily turn into a swamp, from where there are only two ways - either down, that is, to disappear, or get out with effort, and then jump to land or the next river over bumps (which is incomparably harder than just sailing, driving your boat).
Fate, destiny are realized under the condition of active activity on the part of the person himself. If, however, he is firmly established in the bay of inactivity, and even worse, he simply spat and went ashore, lowered his hands (often when only a couple of miles remained before reaching the big, rich and happy waters) and, say, took a drink, or simply he gave up on his life, on any movement, a person turns sour like water in a swamp, drags on mud and generally forgets where and why he swam.
attractiveness inert movement is to relieve myself of responsibility for my own life - wherever I find myself, whether at the bottom or at the top, the hand of fate will take me there, but for now you can not move and wait for blessings from above. I have already described enough cons, I have no questions on this item.
Panic promiscuity (or geographic cretinism)
Another, already the third, extreme: indiscriminate grasping of everything that falls into the field of view of a person. An opportunity arises in front of him, and he immediately grabs it, not bothering to think whether he needs it at all, whether he will gain or lose there. In our metaphor, this means turning at every turn a person sees, trying to swim in all directions at the same time, swimming into every branch of the river.
Minuses: firstly, rash changes in the route can easily lead you into a puddle, where you may settle down, tempering your ardent enthusiasm. Secondly, turning off every time, and then returning back to the main channel (when you realize that you didn’t need to be here at all) is a waste of time and effort. Pros: you don’t need to decide anything, you can randomly poke at all the windows, knock on every door in the hope that something good will be behind it. Again, you can swim to the same place where everyone else is - perhaps your personal happiness and your unique ocean will be found there.
Reasons for choosing such a strategy: fear of missing out on something important, inability to hear yourself and make choices, make informed decisions.
active contemplation
Finally, we come to the fourth way of moving along the flow of life, which I like to call fluidity or active contemplation. What is it?
You calmly swim straight until the turn you want appears (and because you are in your own riverbed, you know that it will appear). You don't try to dig it yourself without having the tools to do it, you don't spend days and nights in disembodied fantasies about this wonderful chance, you live, do business, are in a state of readiness. Mindfulness. You don't just swim, zombified by the flow of a river or the circles in the water; your eyes, mind and heart are open - so you do not miss the turn in the direction you need. You are ready to act and, seeing your opportunity, use it - turn in the desired direction, make every effort to do so. If you have completed all 3 points, but not When you reach the desired result, you don’t float the rest of your life in regret, but melt your shoulders and prepare for the next opportunity by continuing to move.
Actually, let's discuss. :-) Your opinions, comments, answers and advice are welcome.
If you do not have a plan for success and wealth, then you have a plan for failure and poverty. Having a plan separates successful people from crowds of losers. Do you have a plan? Move towards the goal or go with the flow wasting your life in vain?
How to keep life under control, use your strength, time and potential to 100%? Your future is being laid today and you need a plan. Without a plan, most of life will be spent in idleness, laziness, mistakes and aimless throwing.
An adult and overripe person always makes clear plans in order to be as effective as possible. What should be planned and how?
How to plan your life so as not to go with the flow?
short term planning
I take one berry
I look at the other
I note the third
And the fourth is imagining.
Cartoon "pipe and jug"
At every moment in time and in any business you need to have a plan of action. The action plan should be two or three steps ahead. Now you will take the first step, for the second step you plan the next action, the third and fourth are approximately.
In most cases, planning much further is pointless. After all, the situation often changes during the day and a long plan with a large number of steps will be irrelevant.
Planning short-term tasks for a day or a few hours is very important. Having a plan allows you not to take long pauses to determine the next task, allows you to be more efficient and gives you a vision of the future of the working day.
Medium term planning
Plans for a couple of weeks or months are more solid. They describe the approximate direction and course that should be followed. What goals you need to achieve, things to do and what to do all this time. This allows you not to rush from side to side.
Long term planning
Plans for several years allow you to see if you are going there at all. Sometimes a small deviation at the beginning can lead you far to the side if you do not clearly understand the end goal.
Try to develop a good and useful habit of planning things. This will allow you to do more, be efficient and go faster towards your goal.
In this article, we will talk about what it means to go with the flow of life.
Most people do not live this life, but live its existence. This is due to the fact that people, as a rule, struggle with life, constantly rebel against it, believing that by doing this they will achieve something.
Someone, on the contrary, goes with the flow of life, but at the same time, the flow controls their life. The first are swimming against the current and rowing with all their might, struggling with the flow of life.
And only a few use the power of the current of the river of life and at the same time row in the direction they need, they do not fight life and at the same time do not surrender to the will of the current.
It is these people who are able to manage their lives as they wish.
You need to be able not to fight with life and not to surrender to its flow, you need to
Those who fight life always lose because life cannot be defeated. Those who surrender themselves to its flow and do not set the course themselves, also achieve nothing.
Only those people who know what they want from life and at the same time use the power of the flow of life to get where they need to, are the winners.
And in general, life for such people is much easier.
Fighting life means not accepting what is at the moment, being nervous about it, being dissatisfied, not grateful, getting annoyed at any reason, worrying about something or worrying, worrying and being afraid.
Going with the flow of life, surrendering to the flow, means resigning yourself to adverse circumstances and not trying to do anything to change it.
Going with the flow of life and directing the flow where you need it means accepting what is, knowing that all circumstances are only in your favor and seeing your ultimate goal and striving for it thanks to the flow of life, but at the same time being sure that what you want already in your pocket and feel happy, joyful, grateful, accepting, loving always, no matter what happens.
It is not easy, and it is necessary to strive for this. Not all at once. But it can come to this. Ultimately, if you strive for this, then sooner or later you become a wanderer who uses all the resources of life for his own benefit and any little thing provided by life will be regarded as a gift and will be used to the maximum.
Accept everything in your life, because it is all created by you. Your thoughts, words and actions. By denying something in your life, you are denying a part of yourself and thus not accepting Who You Are.
That's all that needs to be said here.
Thank you for your attention.
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