“Between need and want. Find your path and follow it" El Luna. El Luna: Between need and want Between need and want to read

We are different. Thirty-year-old women. Twenty year old men. Students. "Poor". Teachers. Programmers. Musicians pretending to be lawyers. Poets who love to drive the bus. People who understand that work has led to a dead end, and people who are grateful to fate that there is at least some work.

We are different. But we have a common pain. We don't truly use our abilities.

Once Elle Luna, an artist and designer, wrote an essay about this - “Between need and want.” About how to find your way and understand yourself. After a couple of weeks, this text was shared by 5 million people. “This text changed my life,” one woman commented. “Drop everything you’re doing right now and read this article,” wrote another. And then the book appeared. Beautiful. Inspiring. Which you want to share.

Today we share what caught our attention. So drop everything. And read.

Job, career or calling?

Elle was working on a startup when she felt she had come to a “crossroads.” There was a lot of work, but that's all free time she devoted herself to drawing. Both worlds were equally interesting to her, but which to choose?

One day, Elle saw a performance by Stefan Sagmeister, a designer from New York, at the world famous, in which he showed the difference between work, career and vocation.

El thought: what happened in her life? She realized that she wanted a job that was both a career and a calling. After launching the startup, she wrote a letter of resignation and devoted herself entirely to drawing.

What else is there in your life? Jobs, careers or vocations?

The writer Thomas Eliot worked in a bank. Kurt Vonnegut sold cars. One of the greatest composers of our time, Philip Glass, began to earn money from his calling only at the age of 41. His works premiered at the Metropolitan Opera, and he continued to work as a plumber.

Any work deserves respect. If you work just to pay the bills, that's not a bad thing. And just because you want to find your calling doesn’t mean you need to quit your job. There is no contradiction here.

But it’s important to think: what are you doing now?

I need and want

“There are two paths in life: “I have to” and “I want.” We come to this crossroads again and again. And we choose every day,” Elle writes in her book.

“We should” are the ideas of other people (mainly loved ones - parents, family) about how we should live. These are their expectations about our actions, thoughts and life in general. All this destroys our own “I”, forcing us to do as we would like. By choosing the “should” path, we choose life for the sake of others, a life that is predictable and without unnecessary worries.

What is “I want”?

“I want” is what we are without masks and imposed attitudes. This is all that we feel deep down, what we love and believe in. These are all our true desires, dreams, hobbies. “I want” allows us to reveal our potential and strive for our own ideals.

It’s harder to follow the “I want” path, because it’s unclear what awaits us on this journey. There are no guarantees, just daily hard work and constant self-improvement. But at the same time, choosing “I want” means living a rich and conscious life. Be here and now every second. This is a life full of delight and joy.

Lawyer John Grisham woke up every day at 5 a.m. and sat down to write stories about terrible crimes before work. He followed “I want” for many years and did not give up, receiving refusals to publish his book. In the end, he received a positive response, and today his name is known in every home.

Which path are you on? “Need” or “want”?

Where does “should” come from?

It would seem so easy to do what we want, but why don’t we do it every day?

We grow up in an environment where everyone around us is constantly telling us what to do. We are taught what to do and what not to do. We inherit the beliefs and worldviews of those close to us. But sometimes we follow someone else’s “should” path for much longer than planned. We suddenly realize that we are adults who are not living the way we would like.

In order to get out of the captivity of “must”, we first need to realize that we are in it. Take a piece of paper and make a list of sentences starting with “I need...”, “I should...”, “I always needed...”, “I never need...”. Without thinking, write everything that sounds in your head.

Now ask each item on your list three questions:

Without regret, eliminate everything that does not suit you. Life is too short to waste time doing things you don't want to do.

How to follow the path of “I want”?

What if we don't know what we like and what we want? Play with your dreams.

Every time a desire (or) appears in your head, write it down on a sticky note and stick it anywhere. Your desires can be strange, grandiose, useful or stupid. The main thing is to catch them and write them down. This way you will more often hear what your heart wants. What will sound more often and louder is you.

Two obituaries

Imagine that you have grown old, died and are written about in the newspaper. What will be written there if your life goes the way it does? Write down everything you think of. Do you like it?

Now write the kind of obituary you would like for yourself. What would your life be like? Who would you be? A caring mother, a hero of the country, a great inventor, or all three? Don't be shy about your dreams.

Compare these two obituaries and think about what you need to change in your life for the second one to become a reality.

How to start?

Lao Tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Once you realize what you really want, start taking action little by little. You don’t need to immediately quit your job and spend all your time, for example, writing. This is unreasonable, because you need to live on something and eat something. Moreover, this approach will only confuse you. Just every day. Finding 10-15 minutes every day for yourself is not difficult.

Listen to your heart and do whatever it tells you. Even if it seems absurd or pointless.

Your life is yours. But only if you are at the helm. Follow the path of “I want” every day. Ten minutes can always be found. Ten minutes while the kettle is boiling - go ahead! Ten minutes in a traffic jam - go ahead!

What will you choose? Necessary? Want?

P.S. Read what inspires you. There is a 50% discount on the electronic version of “Between I Need and I Want” until June 13 - only for Lifehacker readers. Promo code - XO4Y.

The author’s own journey inspired him to write a manifesto on the difference between “shoulds” and “wants,” which was shared by 5 million Twitter users and read by hundreds of thousands of people. “I wanted to send it to all my employees,” wrote one executive who read the article, “but I realized that a third of them would leave if they read it. But you know what? If they don't want to work here, they should quit - that's why I sent out this article."

Now Elle’s ideas about the difference between “should” and “want” are presented in this inspiring, bright book that will be useful for a student, an artist, and any person who is looking for his calling and wants to change his life for the better.

From the author

These pages are written in support of your inner voice that tells you that you have something special to give this world. They are meant to remind you that although you do not know where this road will lead, many have already walked along it. They allow you to forget everything necessary do to remember what you are want to do.

Who is this book for?

For anyone who wants to change their career and life, find their true calling and the courage to follow it.

What I love, I think, is already clear. But many of my friends say that they somehow don’t have enough time to read. Well, this happens. And if, despite your bookish preferences, you now want to get a dose of inspiration and practical advice On the way to your dream, without wasting time studying many pages, the book “Between I Need and I Want” by El Luna is ideal for you.

“Between I need and I want” -

a very short and at the same time very capacious book about the most important and difficult path, the path to yourself. From reading the book you will receive not only briefly outlined instructions on how to work on yourself, but also aesthetic pleasure.

The author of the book, El Luna, is also an artist and designer. So all the pictures below are Elle's art from the book. In them, the words come to life, conveying with brightness everyone’s doubts that all this is true. There is happiness and it is in your great abilities. Show them off!

Do you have doubts and fears? Wonderful. Everyone has them. In any case, I have never met people without them. It's more interesting that way. There is something to work on, and you can appreciate all your transformations better.

What prevents you from surrendering to this flow? Having two rather than one path.

« Necessary- this is the opinion of others about how we should live"

They often tell you what is best for you, right? Many, many around. Some with a word, some with a glance, some from a magazine, and some from a screen. It’s a kind of noise, and for some reason it’s incessant. And sometimes the rustle of the morning stars breaks through, as Zealand calls it. And starts talking about some Want- our desires, beliefs, hobbies, this is what we believe in and what our Soul strives for, this is who we really are.

I want something so beautiful. And why do we even need this persistent need?

And each one has its own story. And if you want to get rid of it, give it time.

How to stop living according to the MUST principle?

Take a piece of paper and make a list of all the things you need. Study each phrase or large sentence, where it comes from and whether it is easy for you to decide to simply cross it off this list and not deal with it anymore. If some Need has already taken root well, El Luna suggests the “Empty Chair” method. By the way, I recommended him.

In short, it's a conversation with yourself. You put two chairs, sitting on one, you imagine your Want, on the second - You Need. You can take a hat for one role, film a conversation, speak with different intonations. If only it would be better to get to the bottom of the reason for the appearance of Must and the possibility of letting him go.

I personally have never used this method yet. I don’t see any particular need for myself now. At this stage of my life, I’m a little (just a little) relaxed: “I’m on maternity leave, so if I want, I write on the blog, if I don’t want, I don’t write.”

But there is another very interesting question.

What if I don't know what I WANT to do?

Remember your childhood hobbies, write two obituaries, learn something new, look for repeating motifs, ask questions from the picture ⇓

Study yourself, search all the answers are in you.

Do you know your Want? Congratulations!

True, even in such situations we have questions. El Luga says there are 4 in total:

Now get started. Act. Start with a small step, but start.

There is no need to be a trickster and rush into the unknown. Although this will suit some people.

The most faithful I want are realized slowly, thoughtfully and quietly.

Come back to yourself. Be in the flow. Destination is the path. There will be crossroads on it many more times. Trust yourself and your inner voice. It will be easier that way :)

Did you like the idea of the book? You can buy it at a very reasonable price in electronic form using THIS LINK.

I also decided that I will now regularly give away books in electronic format, which I write about and which I read in this format, among my favorite subscribers. So if you want to win the book “Between I Need and I Want,” subscribe to the newsletter using the form below, if you haven’t already done so. The next newsletter will be on June 28, 2016, in which I will write the terms of the competition and name its start and end dates. As usual, to participate you will only need to reply to the letter with the words “I want”.

You might also want to read

Available in formats: EPUB | PDF | FB2

Pages: 176

The year of publishing: 2017

Language: Russian

Reviews

Arina, Mogilev, 23.11.2017
An excellent site, I found a lot of literature on my profile (Between I need and I want. Find your path and follow it), moreover, it’s free and in a suitable format, you just need to go through confirmation via SMS to download. Much more convenient than most similar resources. I recommend.

Ksenia, Kharkov, 06.07.2017
I am passionate about time management and managing my resources in general. For a long time I was looking for a site where I could quickly and easily download all the books I needed, including new ones. I came across this site by chance and fell in love! There is everything you need to expand your knowledge on this topic. I had never even heard of many of the books before. Definitely recommend!

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Published with permission from Workman Publishing Company

Translation from English by Anastasia Sukhanova

First published in the United States

as THE CROSSROADS OF SHOULD AND MUST

Published by arrangement with Workman Publishing Company, Inc., New York.

ISBN 978–5–00100–093–8

Legal support for the publishing house is provided by the Vegas-Lex law firm.

VEGAS LEX

* * *

Leisure edition

BETWEEN I NEED AND I WANT

Find your path and follow it

Chief Editor Artem Stepanov

Executive Editor Maria Krasovskaya

Editor Elizaveta Tsygankova

Lettering Varvara Grankova

Layout Yulia Rakhmanina

Binding design Varvara Grankova

Proofreaders Yaroslava Tereshchenkova, Nadezhda Bolotina

* * *

BETWEEN I NEED AND I WANT

Find your path and follow it

Dedicated to my family

We share our thoughts on the Internet. Every day. All the time. But this message was special. So special that within a few weeks it had been shared on Twitter by over 5 million people and read by over 250,000 people.

“Stop whatever you’re doing right now and read this text,” one woman wrote. “This article changed my life,” another commented. “I wanted to send it to all employees,” wrote one boss, “but I realized that after reading this text, a third of them would leave. And you know what? If they don’t want to work here, they should quit, and I sent out this article.”

A flurry of letters hit me. Alerts from Twitter kept flashing on my phone. The article spread across the Internet in no time, eventually becoming even more popular. So she continued her journey... until this book. I decided to write it for the people who shared their stories; for the pain and courage I saw in their struggle. Thirty-year-old women. Twenty year old men. School graduate. Widow. Single mothers. "Poor" millionaires. People without money who were actually rich. Teachers. Lawyers. A musician pretending to be a lawyer. A poet who loved to drive a city bus. Women who did not want to have children. Fathers who wanted to raise children. People who understood that their work had led them to a dead end, and people who were desperately grateful to fate for having at least some kind of work.

Everyone experiences pain, regardless of gender, age and place of residence. And in fact, this pain is the same -

EVERYONE TOO OFTEN FEELS THAT THEY ARE NOT LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT REALLY USING THEIR ABILITIES.

I received letters from people who seemed willing to do anything to get rid of their dissatisfaction with life, but did not know how.

THESE PAGES ARE WRITTEN IN SUPPORT OF YOUR INNER VOICE THAT YOU CAN GIVE SOMETHING SPECIAL TO THIS WORLD. THEY ARE INTENDED TO REMIND: ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT KNOW WHERE THIS ROAD WILL LEAD, SO MANY HAVE ALREADY BEEN WALKED ON IT, THEY ALLOW YOU TO FORGET EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO DO. TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

Today is Thursday, 11:55 am. I press the “Save” button one last time on this document before it begins its journey around the world. I noticed that everything comes to us in right time. Not earlier. And not later. Imagine that this book was in your hands because you wanted to read it. And because one half of you has seen this life crossroads and you are ready for the journey. With respect and gratitude, I watch as these words find their way from me to you, one way or another, in one way or another, at the right time. Thank you for being a part of this strange and wonderful journey. From one traveler to another: good luck!