Marilyn Atkinson Life in the flow: Coaching. Formula for success: spontaneous planning and life in the flow “Why do people give up moving towards their cherished goal?”

Here's a simple exercise: draw a line of your life from zero to the number of how long you would like to live, and mark your age on this line. Become aware of your feelings and sensations from these segments. What is it more like:

- Wow, there’s so little left, and I haven’t managed to do so much yet!

- There’s still so much time, but I’ve already managed to do so much!

This simple exercise helps us realize how fruitful we feel about our lives. What does fruitful mean? Is there a template by which to measure the fruitfulness of a life? Certainly not. Of course, this is a completely subjective feeling. Everyone has their own pattern and their own values, and that's great.

Start doing what matters to you

It's great when a person lives his life according to his values. And he lives it right now, not later.

Then, when I finish my career, I’ll open a business and get the business back on its feet.
Then, when the children grow up. Then, when I retire. Later, when I learn.
Then, when there is time, money, freedom.

Don't recognize yourself? How many percent of what is really important to you, interesting, what you really want, are you implementing in your life right now, and how much is put off until later?

Set goals or go with the flow

Each of us chooses how to make our lives as productive and valuable as possible. Consciously or not, we choose ourselves.

Let's imagine two people, look through the keyhole, and compare two different lifestyles.

The first person loves goal-setting, he set himself a clear goal in life, made it measurable and specific, wrote down all the steps there, intermediate results, resources, risks, did everything that is required in coaching. He has a business plan on his desk for his life, if not his entire life, then at least for the next 3/5/10 years. The project of his life.

This man is like an arrow, focused and aimed at its target. It will be clear, fast and sharp as an arrow. He will undoubtedly achieve his goal, no matter how great and difficult it may be. All his energy, life, time, attention, all his resources are directed to one point. Yes, he will get it. He'll definitely get it. Within the deadlines specified in the project and in full. Hooray! Goal achieved! Victory!

How do you think a person feels at the moment of achieving a goal? He's happy, of course, yes, everything is fine. But for some reason his joy is not visible, there should be triumph and celebration, a fireworks display of emotions?! Yes, he simply forgot how to rejoice, he simply did not have time to feel, celebrate and get high, but he clearly walked towards the goal and saw only it in his life.

Is this person living his life? No, he lives by purpose, he doesn’t live, he implements a project.

Second person. Doesn't know coaching. Doesn't set goals. Floats with the flow of life. He lives automatically. Where life flows, he flows there too. Wherever he is called, he goes there. What they offer, he takes. He watches what is shown. How much they pay, that's what they live on. A very relaxed person in general.

He looks like a log floating with the flow, and not like an arrow aimed at a target. It nailed it somewhere, and it will be there. It was carried somewhere and swam at the speed of the flow. A very convenient person, by the way, for the family, for the company, for the country, for everyone.

Is he living his life? He seems to live, but as if not his own. He lives unconsciously, like he sleeps. He lives it, perhaps, for the sake of someone/something, completely forgetting about his real self. It lives like a draft, as if it will never begin in earnest.

No, he doesn’t have his own life, even in the project.

What is a flow state?

The current topic now is life in a state of Flow. This is indeed a very effective state.

Somehow, you suddenly manage to tune in, enter the state of Flow, and the World gives you everything on a silver platter, and everything happens in the best way for you.

Does the second person in our example live in Stream?

But why? It seems to follow life. Why then does he look more like a log than a spiritualized and maximally resourceful person in the Stream?

What makes a Flow state different?

Yes, this is contact with the outside world, trust in space, receptivity. But besides this, it is extremely important to have that very focus - the goal where we want to sail in this stream. Don't lose yourself in the goal, but always feel it. To see, to realize what is really important and valuable to me in this life. In fact. And specifically for me. That is, the Flow state harmoniously combines the best of these two examples. A relaxed, receptive movement to the world with a clear, deep, very personal focus. And it is extremely difficult to maintain these states together and at the same time, since they are essentially polar.

Flow is complete contact with yourself. This is when my internal movement is completely synchronized with the external one, but the movement itself is born from myself, from that very real deep goal. This is not some kind of external magical Stream into which I somehow enter or find myself. This flow flows from within, from my real values, this is its secret!

How does it turn out to be so magical inside me that the whole world is ready to serve me? It’s simply a state of complete human integrity - when feelings, thoughts, sensations, desires, goals, meanings, thrills, aspirations, everything becomes one and is directed into one.

Simple, but not simple. In our normal state, our thoughts argue with feelings, desires with goals, meanings with bodily sensations, and so on. It is very difficult to bring all this internal company together and direct it in one direction.

And when this works out, then this is our real maximum productivity. We write, draw, dance, create and create the best we can. We live our most valuable moments.

Is life possible in a state of flow?

All of us, at different periods of our lives, are logs, arrows, and Streams.

Is it possible to live your whole life in a state of Flow? Why not? Here it is, so close and accessible, right in us.

Will our lives be as valuable as possible then? Without a doubt. You try to even look at death in this state; it no longer frightens you.

Will this life truly be yours? Certainly. And this is, in fact, the whole secret.

Let's try, it's real, it's accessible and possible. This is not some kind of magic. They just didn't teach us. We were all often in this state in childhood, let's remember. Or let’s think about what helps us to immerse ourselves so deeply and holistically: music, nature, reflection, the road, loneliness or something else?

In our world of a huge external information flow, it is increasingly difficult to focus on ourselves honestly. Therefore, our Flow eludes us in gadgets, bustle and business.

Take a couple of minutes. Put aside and turn off all external and internal voices, all fussy thoughts. Feel your body, your emotions and feelings, look into your depths. What comes from there? Let's learn to find a place for this in our lives and in our work, in our creativity and our daily affairs. And then we will be able to feel productive and valuable every minute of our life.
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In this article we will talk about life in the flow, or more precisely, how to always be in the flow of life and not fall out of it.

Nowadays, there are very few people who live and enjoy life, enjoy every moment and are grateful for what they have.

Basically, the average person is loaded with his problems, which are all in his head. To be in the flow of life and to be constantly connected to the source of life, you need to wake up sometimes, stop thinking and look more often at the world around you here and now.

Ideal life in the flow

Here I will outline a person who makes full use of the laws of the universe, is totally aware and does not resist the flow of life.

Man in the flow:

conscious;
does not resist the world and the flow of life;
accepts what is;
doesn’t see a problem with anything;
all his plans are flexible, that is, there is always room for the unexpected, which means there is no negative reaction to the unexpected;
actively acts rather than thinks or is nervous;
sees peace signs.

The consequences of such a life:

all problems are solved with ease;
the world always helps such a person;
he lives on the lines of life, where everything is easy and simple;
luck favors him;
life reflects his inner world and becomes just as wonderful in the literal sense of the word.

Below I will talk about how to achieve this or what prevents you and me from being in the flow of life and getting all the possible benefits from it.

Importance

It is the importance of something that creates problems.

It is important to pass the exams perfectly, it is important to love only such a person, it is important to be free from work at this particular time, it is important to have friends, whatever, it is important to have a car, a good salary.

You won’t get everything that is important to you or you will get it with great difficulty, having spent enormous efforts.

Why is this because there is nothing important in nature. Everything is the same. We are all equal. The life of an ant is not more important than yours and mine.

We ourselves artificially attach importance to something.

Importance is manifested by internal anxiety, fear, and anxieties in relation to the object of importance. So, when you have these emotions, you attach importance to something.

By attaching importance, you upset the balance around you, thereby the world, which always balances everything, trying to eliminate imbalances, creates the problem where you attached importance.

Conclusion: if you don’t want problems, stop attaching importance to something. If you attach importance, there will be problems.

Problems will not appear when you do not experience anxiety or worry, since they will either solve themselves or you will solve them with ease.

An example of conscious reduction of importance

One girl, who was studying in her first year of preschool education, said that she was leaving the office and one of the teachers abruptly approached her and said that in half an hour she would be speaking at a conference on a paper she handed in last Thursday. Yes, by the way, there were about a hundred people at the conference, and the person had never had experience in public speaking.

Somehow everything turned out so abruptly, this girl didn’t even know that she would need to perform somewhere.

Here are her words: “I didn’t care so much, I just gave up on everything, read it a couple of times and went to calmly tell everyone about what I had to talk about. I didn’t think about anything, I didn’t care.”

As a result, she gave an excellent performance, there were many employers in her field at the conference, and they all began to offer her a good job, plus she was also chosen to speak at a conference from her university between all universities in the republic, an audience of 1000 people.

Well, a person, without attaching importance, can easily achieve anything, the main thing is that he doesn’t care.

An example of unconscious overestimation of importance

One man had his car caught in the rear bumper. There was so much worry and wasted nerves because of this. And the repairs only cost a couple of thousand rubles. I understand that this is also money, but you cannot attach importance to anything that is not there, because you will create even more problems.

And so it happened, first another breakdown appeared, and then this man scratched the side of the car thoroughly, so much so that even to say he scratched is an understatement. The repairs cost a significant amount. You can say two average salaries.

But it would be possible to do without this continuation if the person simply did not attach importance to this minor event.

It’s always like this, when you attach importance to something, you create problems.

Rigid planning

When a person plans his day and something doesn’t go according to plan, he usually gets upset, starts to worry, that is, again, attaches importance to it.

It is important to understand that life does not always go according to plan.

Everyone knows this expression: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

Therefore, always plan in such a way as to leave room for unforeseen situations in your plans, this is how life does not adapt to our plans, it is we who need to adapt to the flow of life.

Our plans pull us out of the flow, but we need, on the contrary, to be in the flow of life.

So, we can draw this conclusion:

Let your plans be flexible, not rigid, let there be room for the unforeseen and unexpected.

Peace signs

Pay attention to peace signs. When you're in a hurry somewhere, let's say, and you get stuck in a traffic jam, don't rush to get nervous, maybe this traffic jam is protecting you from something, who knows what awaits you ahead, maybe the world is trying to protect you from something, but you're still flying facing troubles and you’re still nervous that you don’t have time to meet them.

It also happened that a person did not make it to his plane and was very upset because of this, and then found out that the plane had crashed. Now he is already happy. Nobody knows what lies ahead. Everything is going as it should be.

You don’t know what the world has in store for you, so don’t rush anywhere, you are where you should be here and now.

Thank you for your attention!!!

Until next time!

Yes, you can also leave a positive comment under this article.

Always yours: Zaur Mamedov

Often during consultations on numerology, when it comes to “life in the flow”, one has to face the question - how to learn to live in the flow? There are a lot of discussions around this topic, each of us has slightly strange friends who are “in the flow”, but it is not known in detail - what is it like to live in a feeling of flow? To help you figure it out, I wrote an article-guide on how to “start” the flow, how to feel it, based on everything I studied and what the best teachers taught me - my own students -)

This is especially true for those who have the number 11 in numerology. That is, if you were born on the 11th or 29th, or in November, or you were born in 1991, 1982, 1973, 1964, or the sum of all the digits of your date of birth is 11 (12/02/1986 = 2+1+2+1+9 +8+6= 29 = 2+9=11)
For those who were born in 1992, 1983, 1974, 1965 - you most likely know how to live in the flow, this is your main gift -))) But perhaps this article will be useful to you - to connect with your main resource!

You don’t have to start using the techniques below all at once tomorrow. Choose what resonates and begin to slowly implement it into your life. Or take yourself an 11-day “flow course” - think about one piece of advice every day, and try to live that day in accordance with your response to that advice. The flow will not keep you waiting!

So what can you do to “feel” the flow?

1) Give up slender, well-developed, rigid plans! Plans can be useful - they are what help us see the future, plan actions to achieve our goals and desires, and control the result. I am a project manager by profession, and believe me, I absolutely adore plans! I have a plan for everything - a 7 year plan, a daily plan, a plan to conquer the world and a plan for going out to buy vegetables. However, the plan is the most evil enemy of life in the flow! After all, if you are ossified in one single vision, you have no choice but to follow it, this vision. And along the way you miss a lot of chances - simply because you don’t have time to pick them up - you have a plan, timing, standards, while traveling - fixed dates for return tickets, in your career - a clear vision of who you are and where you will be in 5 years (yes, yes, answer HR that way next time when interviewing for a large foreign company - I don’t know where I will be in 5 years - like a stream... It was a joke, I hope you understand. HR is a separate conversation). If a plan is what motivates you to action, have a plan, love it, follow it, but be prepared to abandon it at any moment! Life is much more varied than our best plans can provide.

2) Learn to watch for signs. Signs are if you are in a hurry to get to a meeting - but it’s as if the whole universe is against you today. The car, which has been perfect for 5 years, refuses to start. Now it finally starts - and after 5 minutes you puncture the tire. Cursing everything in the world, you get into the minibus to get to the metro - the minibus breaks down... and.. Think about it - maybe you shouldn’t go to this meeting today? You don't know why - but the signs say don't. Trust the signs. Sometimes it is better not to know what actually awaited you at that meeting.

3) Try for some time to “say “Yes” to everything that comes to you. Remember the old movie with Jim Carrey - “Always Say Yes”? If you have not seen this film and want to learn to live in the flow, watch this film, this is a great example of how a person was forced to follow the flow, and what came of it. Say “yes” to any opportunities that arise, be open to everything - and you will definitely be able to catch this feeling of flow.

4) Love strangers, chance encounters and amazing coincidences.
Try to believe, at least for a while, that everything that happens in your life is not accidental. The people you met “by chance” were sent for a reason. Those who have a developed sense of flow are excellent at receiving messages from strangers - often this is a person who appeared in your life only once, advised you to read some book - and disappeared forever. And this book, once read, completely changes your life.
Don't be afraid to seem paranoid and esoteric. After some time, paying attention to “accidents” and “chance meetings”, you will learn to distinguish a “flow” from just an acquaintance who came in for some bread.

5) Learn to listen to your inner instinct, to your supernatural intuition, which tells you - “I don’t know why I need this - but I’m going there now”, “I don’t know why I have to leave - but it’s time for us”, “I I don’t know why I should go there - but for some reason I have to go,” etc. In a state of flow, we are able to act even if we do not fully know or understand the situation logically. Learn to listen to your inner response. Allow yourself to be inconsistent, situational and flexible

6) Turn to God. Read holy books. Imbue yourself with the concept of God's will. Cultivate humility towards the divine plan. Pray to (any) God for guidance. Trust! Trust in divine providence, the flow, the supreme power is the key to following the flow of life, the key to a successful, calm, fulfilling, fulfilled life.

7) Live here and now! Don't go into the past - the past has already happened. Don’t live in the future - it has not come, and may not come, or it may come in a completely different way (the most unexpected). All we have is the present moment! Start with the little things. Don't eat on the go or while watching movies - instead, eat slowly, taste the food, close your eyes when you taste something. Do not talk to children superficially, thinking about your adult affairs and sorrows - look into the eyes of the child, stay with them in this moment - it will never happen again.

8) Learn from children. When we were little, we all knew how to live in the flow. We would go for a walk and find a small natural miracle - a snail - and stop to enjoy this miracle. We knew how not to follow the plan, but to do what we wanted now, at this very moment. We were able to feel the present so strongly, as if we had nothing else (this is why a child’s tears about a broken toy are so bitter, and the joy of candy is so boundless - because there is nothing else in this particular moment!)

9) Do what you love! Right today, right now - find moments to do what you love to do. Don't ask yourself - why? Why am I studying screenwriting - maybe it’s better to do something useful? Why do I need a floristry course - what about a management course? Drop rational, “right” questions. Your task is to feel the flow of life, and the easiest way to do this is by doing what you like. If you like to cook, cook, if you like to walk, take a walk, try to find in everyday life something that “turns you on” to the “alive/alive” state.

10) If there are difficulties in your life, and you are sure that you listened to yourself, your intuition, and did the best you could in the current situation, do not rush to blame the flow, ask yourself what this situation teaches you. What is flow teaching me through this situation? If there is no answer to this question, just let it go. Trust. Perhaps it will be revealed later - and you will find out “what it was all about.” But even if he doesn’t reveal himself, trust him anyway. Once again - trust is the key!

11) Dream! Allow yourself to dream. A dream is not a rigid plan. A dream is not an escape from reality into the future. A dream is a feeling of where you could be. And if it is God’s Will, the stream will help you get there.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Popular American psychologist and writer, one of the most cited specialists. He researched the topics of happiness and creativity, and became known for his theory of flow - a state in which people achieve the highest satisfaction from their activities.

Some facts: how the study was conducted

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi used the Experience Sampling Method. The technique consisted in the fact that during the week, about 8 times a day at random times, the respondent received a sound signal. After the signal, he had to mark in the questionnaire where he was, what he was doing and how happy he was on a 7-point scale - from “very happy” to “very sad”.

Csikszentmihalyi and his colleague Reed Larson personally collected more than 70,000 pages of data from 2,300 respondents, and researchers in other countries tripled this figure. The respondents were teenagers and elders, adult men and women from the United States, Europe and Asia.

What is flow state

All participants noted special conditions, which were later named by the author of the study. Conditions in which the consciousness is filled with various experiences, and feelings, desires and thoughts are in harmony with each other. People were so carried away by some activity that they immersed themselves in it headlong and did not notice the passage of time.

Flow occurs when you do what you love and give it your all. It can overtake you both while practicing your favorite hobby and at work. As a rule, flow comes when a person clearly understands the goal set for him, which requires a certain reaction.

The task should not be too easy, since here you can easily slip into a routine. It should not be too difficult, since a person in such a situation becomes disappointed and begins to worry without even trying to solve the problem. There must be a challenge in the task, so that all his skill is required from a person to solve it.

A state of flow leads to personal growth. A person in the “Rise” zone is focused on solving a problem, but he is not yet very alert and does not have very good control of the situation. To achieve flow, he will need to acquire new skills.

In the “Control” state, a person feels happy, strong and satisfied, but lacks concentration, passion and a sense of the importance of his work. He can achieve flow if he increases the complexity of the task.

People achieve flow when they do things they love: gardening, singing in a choir, dancing, playing board games, or hanging out with close friends. Flow often happens at work. And very rarely the flow overtakes us when we are passive: for example, watching TV.

How to get satisfaction from work

Work gives us a feeling of fullness in life, but at the same time we are saddened by the start of Monday and joyfully welcome Friday on social networks.

In ancient times, leisure was a fleeting phenomenon. A person working in the field could find rare moments of rest for himself. The attitude towards work as something difficult and undesirable still remains in people’s minds, although for the most part we no longer work from dawn to dusk.

According to the questionnaires of the study participants, the sound signal often went off when they were engaged in streaming activities specifically on . They were faced with a difficult task, the solution of which required extreme concentration and creative efforts.

The work has clear goals and measurable results: we either see for ourselves that the company’s business has gone up, or we hear a comment from the boss.

We experience more positive feelings at work than we might realize.

How work affects the quality of life is not determined from the outside. It depends on how a person works and what experience he gains from the tasks assigned to him. For work to be interesting, it must alternate between a challenge that requires maximum effort and simple tasks, during which we are convinced that we have achieved something in our profession.

There are many ways to do the same thing. Look for alternatives and experiment until you find the best one. When an employee receives a promotion, it is often because they sought out unconventional paths in their previous position.

Rest is the highest happiness, isn't it?

We often feel bored and apathetic and prefer to fill our brains with ready-made solutions, such as watching endless TV series or surfing the Internet. Or we resort to more powerful stimulants in the form of alcohol or gambling.

Leisure accounts for about a quarter of our free time. A modern person, as a rule, devotes his time to three main activities: consuming media materials, talking, etc. Each of these activities takes from 4 to 12 hours per week.

Passive rest quickly occupies our brain, but there is no challenge in it, there is no task, after solving which we will joyfully remember how great it was, even if it was not easy.

The payoff from active recreation is always greater, but it also requires a lot of effort to prepare.

That's why we often prefer to stay at home rather than call up friends and go for a run or ride a bike.

If you are too tired or worried about something, you may not have enough internal discipline to overcome the initial obstacle.

The first step towards improving your quality of life is to get maximum satisfaction from your daily activities.

Think about what activities give you the greatest feeling of happiness, what motivates you to new achievements. And return to them as often as possible.

Plan your time, especially - then during the week you won’t feel like the time allotted for rest was wasted.

A man needs a man

Streaming activities connect people the most because they give you happiness and the feeling of achieving something important together. You immediately feel the impact of this relationship.

Communication with friends gives the most positive emotions. It often happens that we lose touch with school and then university friends because we outgrow the interests that once connected us.

Friendship, like love, cannot freeze; it manifests itself in caring for another person and mutual development.

Maintain relationships that move you forward. One of the most common complaints of people experiencing a midlife crisis is not being around.

When people pay attention to each other or the same activity, the chance of experiencing shared flow increases.

How to Achieve a Flow State

From a global perspective: find something you enjoy and that challenges you. Learn to detach yourself from everyday problems while doing what you love.

Locally: You must be able to fully focus on the task at hand. You cannot be distracted by phone calls or “urgent” questions that colleagues or family members approach you with. The task should be interesting to you, have a specific goal, and its result should be measurable. In the decision process, you apply the maximum of your knowledge and skills.

If you feel that you are too excited about upcoming activities or, conversely, feel bored and apathetic, use it.

We have been given approximately 70 years. The quality of life directly depends on how you spend this day, month and whole year.

If you want everyday activities to bring maximum positive emotions, we recommend reading very inspiring books written by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

You can endlessly look at three things: how the fire burns, how the water flows, and how a person does his favorite thing, plunging into a state of flow. Life in the flow This is the only way to achieve maximum results in any field. This state opens the door to a world of gratitude, love and the meaning of every day of life.

It's time to shed some light on the third book in the Transformational Coaching: The Science and the Art trilogy, " Life in the flow» a wonderful and beloved author Marilyn Atkinson. A detailed study of each book in the trilogy creates a feeling of “immersion into the multifaceted world of the true “I”,” deep into territory where “no human has ever set foot.” Book " Life in the flow” turned out to be the most profound, so I recommend studying it only after the first two, thereby preparing the “ground” for the third.

Each of us has a choice: to be a small boat and go with the flow, or to become a river and independently choose the direction of movement. The only way to make your dream a reality without stress is to move towards a goal that is closely aligned with the internal values that form our deepest self. Only this approach will make it possible to maintain motivation at a high level and enjoy it.

Special thanks Marilyn Atkinson I would like to say for clarification of the topic: “How to enter into contracts with yourself, and which of them work and why.” It’s a pity that this book didn’t fall into my hands in January 2014, when I signed it with myself, which almost “sank in the shifting sands of depression.” Now I understand what I did wrong. All's well that ends well.

If you still feel afraid of the next changes (I just want to say: “This is a signal that you are alive 🙂”), I recommend paying attention to the chapter “As if you could.” A truly magical technique that helps to trick the brain and prevent it from plunging into the abyss of fear. Using this technique, you will create a vision of your future in such a way that your brain will not want to return to its original state. Moreover, it uses the maximum amount of resources to make the virtual future a reality.

Life in the flow is living according to your values. The key word is “yours.” In most cases, our deepest self is consumed by the desire to achieve what someone else already has. As a result, a person lives someone else’s life, and, even having achieved the desired result, cannot feel happy.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT OTHERS DO, IT IS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WANT!!!

Book " Life in the flow“turned out to be a highly spiritual creation and touches such “notes of the soul” that we often forget about in the pursuit of material goals. Reading this masterpiece calms you and fills you with vital energy... One that cannot be obtained from food and water.

So, if you want:

Receive an inexhaustible source of inspiration and feel the state of flow;
Learn to set goals according to the values of the deep “I”;
Master the skill of “Make yourself the right promises and keep them”;
Attract the future into the present and overcome the internal fear of change;
Learn to control emotions;
Increase the level of spirituality and fulfillment;
Learn to create a vision of the earthly mission, according to logical levels;
Go beyond your “comfort zone” and enjoy being outside of it;
Improve the skill of achieving goals;
Feel the flow of self-realization,

in that case, the book Life in the flow" for you!!! She perfectly complemented my library of success and helped me look at a lot of things in life with different eyes. I would like to sincerely wish this to you too!!! Be spiritually rich and happy!!!

Thank you for your invaluable time spent in my company!!!
Let increasing sales bring you pleasure...
Best regards, Andrey Zhulay.